Blinding Lights
by Sovoyita
Summary: Bella Swan was in an accident that rendered her blind. When she moves to Forks with her father and brother, she gains friends and meets Edward, the school boy charm. Will she let down her walls and will Edward change his charmer ways? And how? BXE; AH
1. Chapter 1: Burden

**A/N: **Hi, guys! Ummm…if you have read this before, you'll know that this is a re-edit. I absolutely loathe what I had written before. Hopefully, now the obsessive compulsive people can read this story without cringing in horror.

**Summary: **Bella Swan is pronounced blind at the age of sixteen after an accident. She moved to Forks from Phoenix to relieve her mother of the burden of caring for her. What happens when she meets the strange Edward Cullen?

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters... I am so sad...

**BLINDING LIGHTS CHAPTER 1: BURDEN**

**Bella Swan POV**

I swore to myself that if my mother continued her ranting, I would implode upon myself. Oh, there it was.

"Mom, stop! Look, you don't have to keep saying that. I am moving to Forks. Emmett and Charlie have already made arrangements for me to live there and the plane ticket has already been bought. Said plane leaves in fifteen minutes. If there really was a chance that I wouldn't be going, don't you think I would have said something by now?"

My mother, Renee Dwyer, had been trying her very best to convince me that leaving Phoenix, Arizona, the only home that I had truly ever loved, was the worst mistake I could ever make. She tried even harder to remind me that Forks, Washington, the barely-above-water city, wasn't an improvement comparatively. However, as much as I loved Phoenix, the sun and the heated air that always caressed my face, I was exhausted, tired of holding my own mother back from her own life with her new husband, Phil Dwyer. I had lost the will to keep her from traveling with him as he toured the country with the minor league ball players that he was under contract by. Her convincing had been futile despite the fact that every second of it tempted me to change my mind and be selfish. In her voice, the hopeful yet sad tones told me that she was intrigued at the concept of not having to deal with the burden of having a disabled child to watch over at all times. That was what kept me going.

"Bella, honey, please, you don't have to go. What about all your friends? And what about your condition? You will have to learn how to survive in Forks and how to get around." I sighed and bit back the sarcastic retort that was just gnawing at my throat. My condition, a topic that should have been taboo after so long, was always brought up at times like these. Renee worried about things that had long since been resolved because she was a mother but I could tell that she didn't do it on purpose. It came with the territory of being the mother of a blind girl. I was the girl, she was the mother. The sum of the two minus the blind girl meant anxiety beneath the surface of both parts of the equation.

Renee always seemed to forget that I was a mammal by nature and in being such, nature forced me to adapt to match the circumstances. Like any other animal, if I didn't adapt quickly, I would die. So I did my best to stay alive. Reading had been the first on my list of things to learn if only for the fact that I probably read more than I slept. It took me a little more than two weeks to learn enough that I was able to get the gist of most of the books I owned (books I had replaced as soon as I possibly could).

It took me about two weeks to get it down, and by then, I had already replaced all my books with copies in Braille. Another thing I learned was harder. My love of reading had definitely been the cause of my fast learning of Braille, but my inability to walk with stumbling over a flat surface led to some trouble with learning how to use a cane. Though, much as I hated using it, it helped me a lot when it came to not walking into people, and more importantly, walls.

"Mom, there is one week until school starts. I already talked to Charlie and he said that he would make the arrangements with the principal to allow me into the school so I can learn the floor plan by memory. Anyway, since the...accident, I really just want a new start. I may be blind, but if people just think that it's a normal thing for me, it won't be such a big deal."

Truth be told, I hadn't had many friends in Phoenix anyway, and even the ones that I had had felt too uncomfortable around me after the incident to actually stick around. I hadn't really felt abandoned by them when they drifted away; I wouldn't have known what to do with a blind friend either. In my opinion, friendships were so very brittle, quick to break at the first sign of bending; friends just weren't for me, I supposed. Had I been interesting, maybe a jock or a scholar, there may have been a chance that I would have had a lasting friendship. Being the girl I was and maintaining my own persona as Bella and not someone else was what kept me alone, was what had attracted all the trouble that had caused the wheel to start turning. I was stuck as Bella Swan, but that didn't bother me because I knew I couldn't just sneak away and be someone else to escape what had been my fault. It was okay.

The robotic female voice sounded over the intercom, announcing my flight. My mother crushed me to her chest, her idea of a proper goodbye being staining my short-sleeved shirt—a favorite of mine that would be useless in Forks—with her tears while making sure I was unable to breathe until she released me. After bidding our farewells, I boarded the plane, a stewardess guiding me gently down the halls, giggling when I tripped over my own two feet, and accompanying me because I happened to be one of the few physically incapable people on the plane.

I didn't like how reality slowly crept up on me like the plague, burning my chest and my throat. It was a slow, painful reminder that I was leaving behind the home I had loved for a place that I loathed because there was a lack of sunlight. However, I shook my head away from the selfish thoughts. Renee wasn't meant to take care of someone like me. Someone had to take care of her like I had for years, how Phil would from now on. She was the child in an adult's body that needed to be protected, not the mother who needed to guide her blind seventeen year-old daughter around.

The pilot announced our flight and I sighed. The stewardess that had been assigned to me didn't watch me excessively, a courtesy I appreciated. I opened the window's blind and attempted to see shapes in the bright Phoenix sun. All I saw was a yellowish white color that reminded me of the color you saw after staring at the sun. Leaning back in my chair, I tried to be optimistic. It wasn't as hard as I'd thought it'd be. I hadn't seen Charlie and Emmett for a while…practically two years. They'd visited this past year but....seeing them wasn't an option. It still wasn't. Still, I'd get to be with them, to have them around me again. They were my family and I had missed them. The thought of them being there at my side, merely black shadows in my false vision, was enough to make me smile.

Yes, starting new was good.

**A/N: **I really do think I've improved from the time I originally started writing this story. Hopefully there won't be anymore of those little mistakes like 'BVOP' instead of 'BPOV'. That'd be embarrassing. Please read and review!


	2. Chapter 2: First Meeting

**A/N: **Obviously, this is chapter 2. And this is another reedited chapter. I'm so embarrassed that I never realized how horrible my writing was before. I literally shudder to think what you all thought when you first read this.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Lucky girl.

**CHAPTER 2: **

**BPOV**

As I exited the plane, I gave it my best effort not to snap at any of the stewardesses. It wasn't there fault that they were trained to act like baby-sitters. I'd grown used to the territory that came with being handicapped. I was almost constantly badgered by people who felt like it was their civil duty to baby me until I threatened to bat them away with my cane. I wasn't a particularly violent person so I could only hope that someone would just get the hint when I told them to go and shove it.

I couldn't feel the sunlight through the dense fog that I remembered normally took refuge in the Olympic peninsula but I could see it, just barely. Faint colors blurred in front of me as people passed me by.

"Bells!!" I instantly turned towards the direction of the voice I was so familiar with. Charlie Swan, my father and Chief of Police of Forks, Washington, was very much like me, or rather, I was very much like him. We were both quiet people by nature and preferred comfortable silences. Most of my traits came from Charlie; the thick brown hair; the brown eyes; I was pretty much a female Charlie replica. I placed my cane in front of me as I slowly made my way forward towards my father's voice. I could hear the voices of people as they murmured on. _Oh my goodness, that's so terrible _and _oh the poor dear, I wonder how she copes with being...disabled_.

Walking through the crowds was actually quite an annoying experience. I had a Moses flashback, me being the one parting a sea of people with my cane.

"Hey Ch-Dad!" I was truly happy to see him. I had told him when I was planning my trip that I didn't want sympathy and pity from him. He had been with me in the hospital after the incident and knew I didn't appreciate all the fuss. That's why I liked Charlie so much. He didn't hover.

"Bells, it's been awhile." He pulled me into one of his awkward one-armed hugs and released me. One thing about Charlie was that he had trouble showing true affection, which was something that didn't bother me. I had never been one to flaunt my feelings out in the open for everyone to see. While growing up in Renee's care, I had always learned to be tough and stick it out. Renee being free-spirited and scatter-brained made her more of the child in her relationship. I have always been taking care of her, making sure there was always something edible in the house, and making sure all the bills were paid on time. I was even the parent when it came to the _accident._ While Renee would cry over _my _problems, I would comfort her and tell her things would be okay. I never even cried when I found out. I had to be the strong one. If I wasn't, no one else would be. Phil was always working and even though I knew he cared for me as much as a stepfather can care for a stepdaughter, he couldn't lay off his job to comfort my mother. Income was important when there was so little of it coming in. There was really no need to add to the ever-growing pile of predicament.

"Bells, I already got your bags, 'kay? Ready to go?" I nodded and followed the sound of Charlie's heavy footsteps through the terminal. I felt my cane bump into something hard. My hand stretched out only to feel the top of a car, my guess was Charlie's cruiser. I was glad to know that my brother Emmett's work at a garage in Port Angeles had been enough to help him pay for a car for himself, meaning I wouldn't have to ride in the cruiser to school. Handicap girls got enough attention as it was; I didn't need anymore.

I opened the car door and carefully ducked down to avoid hitting the edge of the car's frame. After seating and buckling myself up, I felt the vibrations of the engine as it turned on, the old purr of the engine reminding me vaguely of a dog's snoring. The car started going forward, the feeling of the vibrations disappearing as we drove down the road. I enjoyed the silence on the way home. It was always nice with Charlie. There was no need for drabble.

About forty-five minutes later the car came to a rolling stop in from of a quaint little two-story white house, complete with attic. I didn't need to see it to know that it would look the same as it had years ago when I had last visited. Charlie was, despite his obvious social awkwardness, one for memories. Renee and he had built this home together for Emmett and myself before everything broke apart and they split up. The sad truth that Charlie probably wouldn't recover from their break had never sat well with me, but I had grown accustomed just as I assumed Emmett and Charlie had.

"Hey Dad, where's Emmett right now? Wait, you didn't tell him I was coming, did you?" Emmett was always one for surprises. I knew that if I just spontaneously showed, he would be beyond thrilled.

"I didn't tell Emmett, kiddo. How about we put your bags in your room and then I'll drive you down to the high school. He's at football practice right now, prepping for the new school year. He has to get all those new freshmen ready for the season." Ah, football, the miracle sport that brought my father and brother together. While silence and clumsiness was my father's and my connection, he and my brother were sports buddies.

After feeling my way into the house, I instantly felt the familiar feel of being here. Even without my sight, the aura was always the same every time I visited. Carefully feeling my way around once more, I found the stair and carefully climbed each step while holding the railing. Emmett had told me that he made the attic into his room; therefore, he could customize his room to make it "up to his manliness standards," as he put it. I felt the doorknob with my fingertips; it still had the dent from when I tripped on my last visit five years ago and hit my head on it. Ah, those many trips to the hospital…good times, good times.

I walked in, my cane guiding me and helping me avoid the bed and walls. Suddenly, my stick bumped into something that wasn't there before...a desk? "Dad, what's this desk doing here?" I heard his heavy footsteps as they came closer to me.

"Well, your brother and I have been saving up some money. We figured that we were going to send you something that would help you with school and stuff. So, we bought you an Easy Talk computer system." Renee and I had looked into the Easy Talk computer systems many times before. I had always had to use an old typewriter in order to do all my assignment that required being typed out. Renee had wanted to get me one of these computers, but the prices were outrageous.

"Dad, those computers are worth thousands of dollars, not to mention all the set up and the Braille printer. You shouldn't have done that, seriously." In all honesty, I was beyond happy on the inside, but I really didn't like money being spent on me. I was fine with using the typewriter I brought.

"Bells, it's fine. I know it will make things easier, okay? Besides, it has everything you need. Just ask Emmett. He and his friend Jasper set it up for you. Though, you probably want to thank Emmett for it more. He got a raise at the garage and he put ½ of paycheck for the past eight months into it." I was really going to have to hug that big bear of a brother now. He did so much for me and I didn't do anything in return except bring hi the burden of watching over his visually impaired little sister.

"Thanks so much Dad, this means the world to me." He grunted in response. I could tell right now that he was probably blushing one of those Swan blushes. After setting all my bags on the bed, I walked downstairs, again, surprising myself by not tripping on the last step. Perhaps being blind has helped my balance. Or perhaps I spoke too soon. As soon as I entered the kitchen, I stumbled. Having caught myself before I fell completely to the floor, I balanced myself out once more and felt my way towards the fridge.

Knowing my father and Emmett, they had probably been living off of pizza and take-out for all these years. Luckily, my "disability" hadn't disabled me from cooking. I had taught myself over the past year to continue cooking by losing myself in the scents and sounds made by the food. I had to if I wanted to survive living with Renee and her crazy concoctions.

Upon opening up the refrigerator door, I found that not only was I afraid to stick my hand inside and feel my way around, but the smell was beginning to reek. I made a mental note to ask Emmett to take me grocery shopping. I was not about to live off of pizza and take-out for the remainder of my high school years.

"Hey Bells! I called your mom to tell her you arrived safely. She said that she set up an appointment with your new psychiatrist." I sighed. Renee was…frustratingly stern when it came to the appointments with the psychiatrists that she had set me up with. It was her way of making me cope with what had happened despite my protests that I was fine and she was the one who was taking this way out of hand. In her eyes, she felt that I needed to be more open about it and that I had no reason to be ashamed.

What she didn't know was that during these sessions of sayings like: _How does that make you feel _and _I think we've made a breakthrough_, the process would become very tedious. I didn't actually get over anything because of therapy. Actually, I believe while I hid my feelings on the subject of my impairment, I actually raised my shrink's ego by telling her what a great job she has been doing. It's nice to know that my blindness boosted someone's confidence.

--

Charlie and I headed over to Forks High, the tiny high school that was probably the largest establishment in Forks. When Charlie asked if I wanted him to show me where to go, I assured him all he needed to do was point me in the right direction and all would be well.

"Just walk forward. We are right in front of the field. The bleachers are right there, you'll feel them." After thanking him, I heard his car pull away and I began my journey to the bleachers. After about fifty steps, I heard some yells.

"Hey! Watch out!" Out of habit, I stepped a couple feet to the right only to hear something fly past my left ear. Apparently, practice was still going.

"Hey are you alright?" I could recognize that voice anywhere. Immediately, I felt like my lips weren't under my own control anymore as they stretched without my consent. I decided to tease him for a moment.

"No, actually, I was just about hit with a football and my own brother doesn't recognize that his sister is right in front of him! What kind of welcome is that?"

"Bells? Oh my gosh, that is you!!" I felt myself being lifted off the ground and pulled into a familiar hug, crushing and warm. Emmett's curly hair tickled my chin and I could feel the smile on his face. "Oh my gosh Bells, how did you get here?"

"Emmett...can't...breath..," I joked. He chuckled and released me from his death grip. "Oops, sorry," he said, knowing that I was perfectly fine. It was one of those strange brother-sister bond things that people always talked about. I could almost see his cute little, sheepish grin that would reveal his dimples. "It's okay, Em. Charlie dropped me off by the way. Oh and here." I pulled him into a huge hug and squeezed as hard as I could without accidentally breaking my arms on my own brother.

"What was that for?" Silly Emmett, always so forgetful.

"For the Easy Talk computer. You really shouldn't have put so much money into it. I know for a fact that those things cost more than a couple thousand dollars. You put so much into it and what did I do? Nothing." I was pulled into another hug.

"Bells, you know that you're my only and favorite little sis'. I just wanted to make things easier on you. Anyway, I expect you to be on top of all your classes and you can do all your homework and assignments on the computer." I smiled and nodded. He was such a good person and the best big brother I could ever ask for. Sure, he was a little overprotective sometimes, but he always did what he thought was best for me.

"Hey! Em, who's that?" I could hear the crunch of the grass as it faltered underneath the feet of a couple of other bodies. My guess was that it was a couple of the players that Charlie had been talking about.

"Hey Jasper, this is my little sister, Bella. She just moved here from Phoenix. She's going to be coming to Forks High. Junior year." I smiled politely in the direction in which Jasper was coming from. I held out my hand politely and felt someone grasp it and lightly shake it. I could automatically feel their stares on my eyes, brown, yet covered with the milky white veil that shielded my vision.

"Ah, so you're Jasper. I believe Charlie said you helped Emmett with the Easy Talk, thanks. God knows what would have happened if Emmett did it by himself." I laughed lightly, earning a poke in my stomach from Emmett and a quiet laugh from Jasper and the other boy, whom I had almost forgotten was there. "Yeah, I helped him out, but it was no problem. I actually asked if I could help him; I'm kind of a computer freak." I found myself smiling again. It felt easy, almost like I didn't have to make an effort to smile. It was different. I kind of liked it.

Pulling me out of my thoughts, Jasper began snickering and then continued, "Bella, we are going to be leaving practice in about five minutes. I made a bet with Em saying that he could eat a gallon container of pickles, so we got to go." I started laughing and clutching my sides along with Jasper and the other boy. I felt everyone go silent and heard someone step closer to me.

It was then that I heard a voice, a smooth baritone.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen."

**A/N: **Yes, thank god I fixed it. All those blasted tense changes…how could I have screwed up so horribly?! It's like...I don't even know!

Please read and review!


	3. AN: I hate myself

A/N: Trust me, I told myself when I first started that I would NOT write A/N's, but right now, I just need to clear some things up

**A/N: Trust me, I told myself when I first started that I would NOT write A/N's, but right now, I just need to clear some things up. **

**In this story, all the characters are HUMAN. I will not be changing that. And yes, Bella is in fact BLIND. The Accident that she was in has not been disclosed yet. That will come later in the story. Trust me; I already know what it is. **

**Next Topic: Easy Talk computer systems are in fact real. You can actually input all the information you need to input into it by using your voice. You literally give it a command, and it is done. **

**Next: My Updating**

**I will try to update at least once every other day if not every day. I get bored sitting alone in my house all day, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a life (no matter how pathetic it is). **

**So…..If you have any problems with my writing style or the plot line or something, tell me, but don't expect me to bend to your whim. I like pleasing people (don't think dirty), and I like happy readers, but I also don't like getting bad reviews, so I will try my best to fix little problems, but I need full support from readers. I get tons of Story Alerts and a few reviews, but reviews are what I'm looking for the most. It takes about thirty seconds to type out a "Good Job" or "That was AWESOMENESS" on a review. Even type "I HATE YOU" if you want, (actually, don't do that, I really don't like mean reviews). And if you do write a review that is meant to help me improve my writing, be specific with the problems. It doesn't help if you say, "I didn't like the way you worded this chapter" if you aren't explaining to me how to reword it. So….keep that in mind. **

**I'll be updating within the next 24 hours!!**

**Signing OUT, Laura B. a.k.a sovoyita**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight **


	4. Chapter 3: Not So Bad

EVOP

A/N: I am SO SO SO SORRY I took so long to Update. I can try and promise that it won't happen again!! I had already written the chapter, but I couldn't find the file. I'm really sorry. I had to rewrite half of it, so if its not as good, I apologize. Anyway, the more reviews I get, the longer the chapters are. I swear, that just how I roll.

**P.S. Ericaisdazzled, you got the word cheese in this chapter!! Take THAT!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! **

**Enjoy!!**

EVOP

Emmett, Jasper and I were the last people on the field. After a horrible practice with the new freshmen, who truly did not know how to play without getting into an argument with one another, we just decided to relax and joke around a bit. "Hey Em, I bet that you can't eat a gallon of pickles?" Jasper, of course, was coming up with another bet that he could ridicule Emmett with. Emmett being, well, Emmett, agreed to said bet but not before trying to negotiate. "Jazz, how about I eat two pounds of cheese instead?" "No deal, Em. Anyway, we don't want to have to deal with you if you get sick from too much dairy intake." I nearly fell over laughing while Emmett attempted to glare at Jasper, yet failed miserably as a huge goofy grin slid onto his face. "Hey Jazz, I bet you fifty bucks that you can't throw the football across the field." In response, Jasper stood up and grabbed the football. His arm pulled back and thrust forward. From there, the ball passed the fifty yard line and was headed straight toward a figure towards the end of the field.

"Hey! Watch out!" Emmett yelled out, trying to warn the girl at the end of the field. I saw as she stepped to the right, avoiding the ball by about two inches. I stood there, watching as Emmett walked up to her and asked her if she was alright. I didn't hear what she said next, but the next thing I knew, Emmett was scooping her into his arms, giving her one of his famous death grip bear hugs. Emmett booming voice still reached the other side of the field where Jasper and I stood, saying, "Oh my gosh, Bells, how did you get here?" I could see the girl, Bells, I'm assuming, trying to breathe. As Emmett put her down, Jasper and I started jogging over towards them. "Hey Em, who's that?" Jasper yelled out. As we got closer, I got a better look at this girl. She had long dark mahogany colored hair that flowed in waves half way down her back. Her skin was pale and seemingly translucent on her heart-shaped face. She was thin, not unhealthy looking, but she looked tired. As I got closer, I could see her beauty. It was antique and natural, something that was rarely found in these present times. She was, by far, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

"Hey Jasper, this is my little sister, Bella. She just moved here from Phoenix. She's going to be coming to Forks High. Junior year." She smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I nearly gasped when I saw it. I finally looked into her eyes. They were brown, but covered with a white, milky veil. She was blind. I continued staring into her eyes, and her hands started to twitch unconsciously. She held out her hand for Jasper to shake, which he took and shook lightly. Then she spoke, "Ah, so you're Jasper. I believe Charlie said you helped Emmett with the Easy Talk, thanks. God knows what would have happened if Emmett did it by himself." She laughed lightly, earning her a poke from Emmett. We all laughed, but hers stood out above all. Her voice in general was like chimes; it was soft, elegant, and above all, beautiful. I found myself gawking at her, unable to tear my eyes away.

"Yes, I helped him out, but it was no problem. I actually asked if I could help him; I'm kind of a computer freak." After Jasper spoke, she graced us with yet another smile. I honestly couldn't get enough of them. This time, Jasper nudged my side, pulling me out of my Bella-induced trance. He snickered and spoke once more. "Bella, we are going to be leaving practice in about five minutes. I made a bet with Em saying that he could eat a gallon container of pickles, so we got to go." She started laughing and soon I found myself laughing along with her. It was almost like everyone else had disappeared and it was just her and I. She was gripping her sides when I realized that I had yet to introduce myself. Everyone went silent and I stepped forward and spoke.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." She held out her hand, which I took gently and brought it to my lips. I swept my lips against her knuckles and looked into her veiled eyes, almost as if to try and pierce through it. A beautiful crimson blush spread across her cheeks, coloring her face and nearly making me swoon over her. "Bella Swan, nice to meet you, Edward." The way my name rolled off her tongue just made my mind go blank. The only thing that was through my mind was Bella and no one else. It wasn't until I heard a cough from Jasper that I actually released Bella's hand. I took a step back, but didn't miss the glare I was getting from Emmett. I knew how protective he was of those he loved, but when you were on the receiving end of his glare, it's not as funny.

"So, Emmett, why don't you take Bella home and Edward and I will pick up the gallon container of pickles?" Jasper, obviously trying to break the tension between Emmett and I, made an excellent excuse for us to leave. We said our goodbyes as I watched Emmett guide Bella towards his Jeep. Jasper turned to me and looked at me skeptically. "What?" Jasper and his strange sense of being able to tell read people's emotions easily normally didn't bother me, but as of this moment, his stare was a little unsettling.

"Edward, why were you staring at Bella that way?" I had been caught. Deciding to play dumb, I started walking towards the Volvo and spoke, "What are you talking about Jasper. I was just being nice." I stealthily glanced at him to see him staring straight at me again. It was beginning to become unnerving. "Edward, I know you better than that. You have never looked at anyone, especially a girl that way. And trust me; you have dated plenty of girls, so I would know." Damn him and his observations. He was right though. Never in my life of dating had I ever even looked at someone like the way I looked at Bella. Normally, girls swooned at the sight of me because apparently, I was good looking. I really didn't see it; reddish-bronze hair that was always messy, straight nose, square jaw. That was really all. I am kind of tall and lanky. Apparently, that is what girls wanted. To date a guy who had hair the color of a penny and who was tall and only somewhat muscular. I just accepted it and allowed the girls to fall over me.

"Jasper, I really don't know what you're talking about. Look, she's pretty but she's probably just like every other girl, okay." _Accept Bella is beautiful and nice and…STOP this Cullen! _My thoughts were definitely beginning to confuse me.

"Whatever you say Edward. Come on, we got to go get the pickles. We don't want Emmett getting away without doing the bet." We stepped into the Volvo and I sped off, my mind still being occupied by the one and only Bella Swan.

BPOV

After leaving the field, Emmett guided me to his Jeep, which from what I could feel, was huge and fit Emmett perfectly. On the drive home, he proceeded to tell me all about life after I left with Renee to Phoenix. He told me of how just two years ago, the Cullens moved to Forks and brought along Jasper and Rosalie Hale, their friends of the family. Rosalie and Emmett instantly became very close and soon became a couple. When Emmett spoke of Rosalie, I could hear the pure love and admiration. I was more than happy for Emmett; he deserved nothing but the best and if he was in love, I was happy for him. The way he described her, I could easily picture her as a model. Long blonde hair, perfect hour glass figure, and beautiful ocean blue eyes were exactly what I could see. And the fact that she had a passion for cars just like Emmett was excellent.

His friendship with Jasper, Edward, and Alice, Edward's twin sister and Jasper's girlfriend, had come naturally. It seemed to fit. Emmett could easily be friends with everyone and I was ecstatic about that. He deserved only the best.

"So, Bells, how was life in Phoenix? We never actually talked that much over the years and I bet you were up to a lot." Little did he know that my time in Phoenix wasn't as exciting and wonderful as he assumed. The sunny state had turned into my own personal Hell after the accident. Before the accident, I had few friends; basically, I was invisible. I accepted that and I was content. But after the accident, the few friends I had left. They abandoned her when she needed them the most…

"Bells, are you okay?" Emmett's booming voice pulled me out of my reverie and I quickly answered his question. "Oh, Phoenix wasn't actually that great. I felt like a freak among all the tan people, being so pale and everything. Anyway, the heat was starting to bother me. I started to miss the rain." Lies had become easier to tell since I became blind. Before, people could see the anxiety and the reluctance in my eyes, but now, the veil covered the emotions and my face was free of any sign of dishonesty. I felt bad about lying, but it was necessary at times like these. If Emmett knew what truly happened in Phoenix, he would hate me; he would never look at me the same way again. He didn't sigh or show any sign of figuring out my lie, so he spoke, "Well, things in Forks have been pretty boring, so with you being new here, you are going to be the news of the town." Crap. I hadn't thought of that. Being new was one thing, but being blind added to the stares that I would be getting. That and people trying to help me walking to classes and me trying to manage my temper in order to not beat them down with my walking stick.

My mind was so focused on trying to work out how I was going to handle my newly found predicaments that I almost didn't hear the sound of the Jeep coming to a stop in the front of the Swan house, the house that was now supposed to be my home. After finding my way inside, I ordered pizza, due to the lack of edible substances in the house. Moments after the pizza arrived so did Edward and Jasper. After about an hour of Emmett gagging on pickles, stupid jokes that made me laugh for no reason, and enjoying pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, I bid goodnight to the boys and made my way upstairs to shower and go to bed. Once I reached my bed, I collapsed upon it and allowed my mind to wander on the day's events. In all honesty, I never expected to even feel welcome in Forks. But instead, I was not only welcome, but I found myself laughing and smiling authentically, something that I hadn't done in the whole year since the accident.

As I felt unconsciousness spread through me, one last thought crossed my mind. _Maybe moving wasn't such a bad thing after all. _

Bad? Good? Tell me...Click the review button and tell me what you think. It takes about 30 seconds or less to tell me if its good, bad, or if I deserve to die a painful death.


	5. Chapter 4: The Message

I am so sorry I took so long again

**I am so sorry I took so long again. I know I've been saying that a lot but its true. I had trouble with this chapter. I wanted to make it perfect so I had different approaches to take. I had to choose how to write it out and when I finally decided, it didn't come out right. So I have about 3 different versions of this chapter and this is one is by far the best. So I'm really sorry I took so long. I know you all are anxious to see how Edward will get Bella to like him especially when she can't be dazzled by his good looks and startling green eyes swoons Anyway, here is the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I tried to kidnap Stephenie Meyer, but it was too difficult. Sorry. **

**Chapter 4: The Message**

EVOP

"Hey Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jasper and I were now in the kitchen, attempting to find a new container for the leftover pickles from the bet. The evening's events had been hysterical. With Emmett trying not to choke on pickles, eating the perfect pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, and myself getting mesmerized every few seconds by Bella's laughter, I had had an excellent time.

Unfortunately, my gawking didn't go unnoticed. Fortunately for me, Emmett wasn't the one who noticed. Always the intuitive one, Jasper caught on fairly quickly that my eyes were set on Bella. My mind was still trying to recall every detail of Bella's beautiful face when Jasper's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Edward, just hear me out okay?" My mouth was already open to question him, but I decided against it and just nodded for him to proceed.

He took a deep breathe and continued, "Okay, Edward, I know you are going to deny this, but I saw you gawking at Bella." He held up his hand to stop me from objecting. "Edward, I know you have your eyes on her. She's very pretty and I can see why you would want to pursue her." My mind was processing what he was saying and still I had no idea where he was going with this. The only objection I had so far was that he said Bella was merely pretty when he should have said she was the most beautiful woman in the world. But then again, I doubt that would have gone down well with my sister, Alice a.k.a his girlfriend.

"What I mean is she's not just any other girl." If only he knew. "She's Emmett's little sister, for crying out loud. And she already feels like the little sister I never had. Just because Rosalie is my twin doesn't mean I ever had to protect her. She was always fine on her own. Bella is a different story. She's innocent and Emmett and I can feel a little protective of her. She doesn't need the school player trying to get to her. She can't be just another one of your 'projects'." He used air quotes to emphasize that last word.

My mind was already registering every word he said. I couldn't believe he had said that. I always knew how he and my friends felt about my ways with girls, but they never worded it, per se. I wasn't going to let it bother me, though. Bella was just a girl and if I wanted her, I would have her.

"Jasper, you have no idea what you're talking about. Bella is just another girl. Anyway, I don't _need _to go after her. There are plenty of other girls out there." I knew I was being arrogant, but I had to do something to get Jasper away from the idea that I was pursuing Bella. The less suspicious he was, the easier it would be for me to go after her. Even though the words weren't true, it still hurt to say that Bella was just another girl when clearly she wasn't.

"All I'm saying is that if you hurt her, Emmett and/or I will hurt you." I was shocked. Emmett would use violence often, but never Jasper. Was the ever calm person in the group who didn't like to get caught up in fights, but hearing the slight menace in his voice told me to believe every word he had said.

I nodded and Jasper left me to my thoughts. I would have to find another way to get Bella to like me. Girls often fell for my looks for reasons I really couldn't understand, but with Bella, the situation was completely different. Not only was she blind and obviously couldn't see me, but it felt as if she could pierce through me and into my very soul. And not only that, but I was attracted to her much more than I had been to any other girl. Normally, I merely found a girl pretty, but with Bella, I felt as if I had been blinded by the lights of Heaven. And these blinding lights were nothing short of beautiful.

Perhaps, if I let Bella see me for me, we could at least become friends. Because honestly, now that I had met her, I couldn't even bear to think of a life without her in it.

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BVOP

I could feel my mind slowly begin to un-cloud as I awoke. After the accident, I would become easily confused when I woke up because when I would open my eyes, I could see nothing. But now, I had grown used to the fact that even though my eyes had finally betrayed me, my body and mind knew when I had to wake every morning. Every morning, I would wake up at 6:30 AM and just relax. I wouldn't allow my mind to wander because I didn't want to think about things. I wanted to forget. So instead, I would wake up and listen to the sounds that I wouldn't normally hear.

For a person with sight, in order to not get lost in your own thoughts, you find it easier to look at something or things and focus on that. For me, I would listen. Blindness had given me heightened senses which allowed me to listen to everything. Even now, I could hear Emmett's loud snoring from the attic. I laughed quietly to myself and climbed out of bed.

I made my way towards my dresser, feeling around for my clothes. I found my favorite outfit, a deep blue v-neck sweater and my favorite jeans. It may seem strange for me to somehow know what my favorite outfit is, especially when I can't see it, but what others didn't know was that I had a reason to why it was my favorite. I could actually remember exactly how it felt and exactly what it looked like. I remember from right after the accident, I didn't remember every single detail about all my clothing. But the blue sweater was something I would never forget. I had actually found it at the store when Renee had taken me. Renee had gone out and bought me clothes that I would never actually wear, but this sweater was one that I found all by myself and every single detail of it was fresh in my mind to this day.

I walked to the bathroom and turned on the hot water. Today was sure to be a busy day. Emmett was going to have to haul me over to the school and I would have to memorize the floor plan. I heard the school wasn't big from when Charlie described it. Just several small buildings that I would have to learn my way around. It didn't seem that difficult. At most, it would take me about two days to memorize everything, including the insides of my classes, which, thanks to my disability, I already knew which ones I would be entering. Ah, the power of having a disability.

I undressed and stepped into the hot water, slowly allowing my skin to adjust to the high temperature. After a few moments, I relaxed and allowed the hot water to soothe my tense muscles. After shampooing my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo and using my favorite lavender-scented body wash, I stepped out of the shower and changed. Waking up early had its perks; I never had to rush things. I ran a brush through my tangled hair and left it down so it could air dry. I made my way down the stair, hoping desperately not to trip and risk waking Emmett and Charlie.

As I made my descent, I could hear the coffee maker bubbling, the scent of freshly brewed coffee spreading throughout the lower level of the house. After making a successful trip down the stairs without a single fall, I walked into the kitchen, my stick carefully feeling around for chairs and other small objects that may be in my way. I heard the sound of someone breathing quietly.

"Ch-Dad?" I heard them clear their throat and then they spoke, "Edward, actually. Would you like some coffee?" Ah, that would explain the coffee. Momentarily I thought about where Charlie could possibly be, and then I remembered the day. It was Saturday and surely Charlie would be out fishing with Billy Black, an old family friend that lived on La Push reservation.

"Sure, coffee sounds great." I felt around for my coffee cup and poured myself a cup. I held it to my nose and allowed the warm and comforting scent wash through me. I thanked Edward for the coffee and sat at the table, the warmth from the mug spreading through my hands. Quiet moments like these were the moments I cherished the most. I loved things to just be silent, so I could revel in it. I allowed my senses to wander, my ears picking up on the noises from outside. There was a slight rustling, possibly from the birds and there was the light pitter-patter of rain. It was probably just drizzling, but then again, it was Forks, so when wasn't it?

I heard the light creaking up a bed coming from the attic and assumed that Emmett had woken up. There was a bit of rustling and some incoherent whispering followed by the loud footsteps and yawns of Emmett and if my assumptions are correct, Jasper as well.

"Morning Bells…" Yes, Emmett does not seem to be a morning person. Jasper mumbled a greeting and I nodded. Seems the only boy who is a morning person is Edward.

"So guys, what do you want for breakfast?" It seemed like an innocent enough question, but I didn't receive an answer, so most likely, they were staring at me incredulously, wondering how the heck I was going to manage making the breakfast.

"Bells...how…exactly do you…plan on making…breakfast if you…can't…well…see?" Emmett stuttered throughout his whole question, obviously scared that I would for some reason have a breakdown right then and there.

"Emmett, I lived with Renee for long enough to know how to make breakfast. Just because I'm visually impaired doesn't mean that I can't cook. I learned how to do it without seeing. I just need you to grab the ingredients in order for me to do it. I haven't reorganized the fridge yet, so I have no idea where everything is." I spoke sternly to get my point across. I moved to Forks to live a new life without pity, and I'd be damned if something as small as concern from my brother about making breakfast was going to get in my way.

"Okay, Bells. We don't have a lot. How about we just make some eggs and bacon?" I nodded as I heard the refrigerator door open and the sound of a few items being taken out and place in front of me. I made my way across the small kitchen, feeling around for a pan. As soon as I found one, I got to work, turning on the stove, heating and greasing the pan, cracking the eggs and frying the bacon. Soon, we were all enjoying a nice breakfast.

"Bells, Charlie said that at noon, I'm supposed to take you to the school. The principal is gonna be there to open up the doors so you can memorize the floor plan. I'll be there too in case you need any help." I nodded again and waited for the boys to finish eating. Once everyone was done, I started picking up the plates and taking them to the sink. After I began washing the dishes, I heard Edward begin speaking to me.

"Would you mind if I helped you with the dishes," he asked politely. "Go ahead, I'll wash, you dry." And so the cycle began. I would wash and Edward would dry, allowing us to finish in half the time. I thanked him and made my way to my room. I decided that now would probably be the perfect time to use the Easy Talk. I turned on the monitor and sat in front of it. I spoke clearly to it, "Check time."

In a clear and mechanical voice, it responded, "Time is 11: 45 AM, Bella." I smiled at that. Emmett and Jasper had programmed my name into it. Before I could proceed to check my email, Emmett called me downstairs so we could leave for the school. After grabbing my jacket, and getting downstairs, we were off to the school.

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After arriving and having to deal with the annoying stares from the principle and the unnecessary attention, such as him offering to take me by the arm and guide me throughout the entire school, I was able to focus on finding my way around the classrooms. Being that is was the week before school started, teachers were in their classrooms, decorating and preparing the first quarter's lesson plans.

I had been able to meet every single one of my teachers, each in which treated me like a child and tried to baby me by guiding me and thinking about every word they spoke, feeling that I would get mad if they said words like "blind" or "impaired." It would have been very amusing had I not been the subject of their pity. After explaining to them that I wanted to be treated like everyone else in the class, they slowly began to understand that I was more than capable of doing the work just like everyone else.

Of course, there was the problem with assignments. Seeing as I could not see the writing on the paper, I asked them to email me all assignments; therefore, I could do them on the Easy Talk. Having a computer to do whatever I wished really was gods send. I did have a bit of trouble with the trigonometry teacher, Mr. Varner. He assumed that I was just using my disability to get out of doing work in class so I could cheat on it later. I then just told him that he could send the work to my father and he could watch me do it. It was very amusing to hear him stutter and say that he believed me. I could already tell I wasn't going to like him. But then again, his hate of me may have been caused when I accidentally tripped over a mat and dropped a stapler on his foot.

And thus, I had the entire school's floor plan memorized by the end of the day. Since it was only mid-afternoon, I decided to ask Emmett to take me to the grocery store to gather all the ingredients that I would need in order to cook proper meals for Charlie and Emmett. I have yet to find out just how exactly they survived all these years without me.

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After about five minutes of pleading and pouting my best puppy dog pout, Emmett gave in to my will and took to the store. Though Emmett protested when it came to coming into the store with me at first, I quickly reminded him that without being able to see, I couldn't exactly pick out what was what. Sadly, Emmett wasn't exactly the biggest help.

"Hey Bells, what is ricootay cheese?" I burst out laughing at his mispronunciation and quickly corrected and informed him on what exactly ricotta cheese was. After many laughs and a few scoldings from elderly women in the store, we checked out and left.

When we to home, Emmett and I unloaded the groceries and made our way into our humble abode. After having Emmett grudgingly rid the refrigerator of whatever "food" that was in there, I applied Braille labels on the food items and stored them away. Wanting to go to bed early after such a long day, I made simple spaghetti for Emmett and I, while leaving a plate in the microwave for Charlie to heat up once he got home.

I bid goodnight to Emmett and returned to my room. I sat on my bed and began to read a Braille-written copy of _Wuthering Heights _when I remembered that I had yet to check my email.

After opening up my email, the computer read an email I had received form Renee aloud. IN the computer's monotonous voice, Renee's frantic words were hilarious. After replying several times to her many messages, I had the computer open up another message from an unfamiliar email address.

"You have one audio message from Victoria Scott," the computer said. Victoria Scott. She had been one of my old friends from back home. She had abandoned me after the accident. I was tempted to just delete it. I had started this new life and she was not a part of it.

Reasoning that I should at least listen to the message, I allowed the computer to play it. Hearing the familiar voice reminded me much of Phoenix, but the words that I heard next made all the blood drain from my face.

"_Hello, Isabella," Victoria's child-like voice sneered my name with venom that I never knew existed, "Today was the first day of school and everyone noticed you weren't here. It's pathetic really. You hid your ugly face like the coward that you are. You couldn't even face everyone after what you did. James shouldn't have died; you should have. Instead, you got away with nothing but a few scratches and blindness while James died. Everyone hates you. Your life isn't worth anything. You don't deserve to live. Goodbye Isabella."_

I didn't realize until the end of the recording that I was near hyperventilation. I calmed myself down as best I could and sat on my bed with my chin resting on my knees. I wanted so badly to just scream and cry, but if there was one thing that Victoria was right about, it was that I didn't deserve it.

I didn't deserve that emotional release that I so dearly wanted and needed. I wrapped myself up in my blanket, rocking back and forth until consciousness left me and my mind filled with the horrific memories of the accident.

**How was that? Sorry I took forever again, but I'm already half way done with the next chapter. I hate to do this, but if it comes down to it, I will require a certain amount of reviews if I don't get enough. I'm pretty happy so far, but I've been getting less and less. Please review. **

**OH yeah, Ericaisdazzled, IN YOUR FACE!! I put in the word STAPLER!! I WIN….for now….**


	6. Chapter 5: First Day

A/N: DON'T HATE ME!! I know I have taken forever, I was just hoping to get more reviews. Anyway, I got a couple requests from readers again on words and places to input into the story, so if you realize that there is some random places or words in there, just go with it. And thanks for all the reviews I've gotten so far. I honestly thought this story was going to stink.

**And as for those of you who are wondering what the accident is, just be patient. Patience is a virtue and Edward wouldn't want you to be rid of that. Hahahaha, we all know you can't resist Edward!! **

**Note to Ericaisdazzled: In Your FACE!! The word "kitten" is in here. I win...for now.**

**Another Note for Aden101: I have also included KUSM (Kansas Underground Salt Museum) into this chapter. **

**This is so random. I haven't ever even heard of KUSM. OH well, if you readers are into giving me challenges such as putting in totally random things in the chapter, go ahead and tell me. Just don't go and give me a dirty slogan or something. My little sis reads my stories and she also helps with proofreading. I get lazy, so she does it. And remember, I can only put so much randomness into one chapter, so I will input stuff over time. So if you request something, I will mention you at the beginning of the chapter; I like readers to feel special. **

**Another note for ALL READERS: Please, please, please review. I don't normally beg, and I'm overly happy with whoever does review, but I probably get 5x more story alerts than reviews. Even if you just want to say, "Hurry up with the writing!" I won't care. I personally haven't done that yet when I read someone else's story, but whatever. **

**OK, enough of my silly banter! On with Chapter 5!!**

**Disclaimer: My name is spelled L-A-U-R-A or S-O-V-O-Y-I-T-A. Do you HONESTLY think that I am Stephenie Meyer?? I didn't think so... Sheeshhh!!**

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**CHAPTER 5: FIRST DAY**

BVOP

I awoke to the sound of someone screaming horrifically only to find that it was my own screams that I was hearing. Of course, Emmett being Emmett bounded into my room, busting the door open, nearly tearing it off its hinges. When he saw me sitting curled up on the bed, holding my knees up to my chest, he almost automatically knew what was wrong. He didn't know exactly what the circumstances of the accident were, but he had a pretty good idea that that was the subject of my dream.

The thing about Emmett is that though he may seem to be all muscle, he really is comforting. Of course, he doesn't exactly know how to care for emotional wounds. Though I can't blame him. He grew up with Charlie, making him an emotional leper. So, when he told me to let it all out, I just about fell out of my seat in surprise. But I knew that letting him in was the worst thing to do. First of all, he didn't need the burden of knowing my problems and carrying them around with him. Second of all, he would probably find out about the message and take the first plane back to Phoenix to go "deal with" Victoria himself.

I denied that anything was wrong and just mumbled on that it was merely a nightmare until he finally left my room. I wouldn't burden Emmett with my problems, no matter how much I wanted to. Not that I deserved to be able to.

As soon as I heard my door shut, I grabbed a CD that Phil had given me for my seventeenth birthday and put it into my CD player. Phil had an..._interesting _selection of music and so when he gave me the disc, I was very hesitant. But, much to my surprise, I found that the heavy sound of rock that was in the music helped me drown out my thoughts most of the time. Sadly, this was not one of those times. **(A/N: Its Linkin Park, just so you know. I like trying to stick to the original story line as much as possible even though all the characters are human and Stephenie Meyer said it was Linkin Park. Check it out on her site.)**

My thoughts weren't clouded by the music. In fact, they were clearer than they had ever been and as much as I hate to admit it, it scared me. I didn't like to revel in my thoughts for the fear that I wouldn't be able to handle it. Breaking down was not something that I wished to do at this moment and not deserving it just added to my reasons why I shouldn't.

The week passed with few occurrences. It was beginning to become a pattern. I would spend my days preparing myself for my classes and getting ahead on the school work that I had already received and at night I would check my email only to find that I had received more emails from different ex-classmates, telling me how much James' death was my fault. The sad thing was that I believed everything that they said. It was my fault, and now I had to deal with the consequences.

I found that I had to always wear my headphones to listen to the emails now. Emmett was always home due to the fact that the Cullen's and Hale's went on a last minute vacation to New York and wouldn't be back until the Sunday night before school began. Unfortunately for Emmett, that meant that Rosalie would be gone until then. For me, it just meant that I would have more time until I meant the infamous Alice. From what I had heard, she was very pixie-like. About 4'9 and full of energy. And a shopaholic. I didn't want to be the one to tell her that I didn't like shopping. Fortunately for me, her famous puppy dog pout, the one that she used to get whatever she wanted, couldn't be used on me, especially since I couldn't see it. Yet another gift that came from being blind.

Though, I admit, I could have used her at some times. I found that it was easier to prep my outfits for the week. I didn't want to have to be feeling around for clothing in the morning, hoping that whatever I picked out would match or wouldn't look absolutely ridiculous on me.

On occasion, I would receive calls from teachers, asking exactly how to teach certain lessons if I wasn't able to see. Telling them that I was perfectly capable of doing everything that a normal student could do obviously wasn't enough, especially for my English and Biology teachers. For English, my teacher, Mrs. Kent, had to be reassured that I had copies of all the novels that would be read in class in Braille copies. It was a relief for her because to order books now would have been impossible. For me, it was just easier. Having all the mentioned books on her reading list meant that I didn't have to reread all of them, though I probably would just for the pleasure of it.

As for my Biology teacher, Mr. Banner, I had to make a compromise for the labs that I wouldn't be able to do. I had to call in my old biology teacher from Phoenix, Mr. Stevens, to send in my old labs so that Mr. Banner would have a record. I had already done all the same work in Phoenix; so instead, I would just work on work sheets. School was beginning to be way too easy.

And yet, though most of my school-related stress was gone, I still woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Every night. And every night Emmett would come into the room, though he would now open the door before bounding in, and try and get me to tell him what was wrong. But I couldn't. If I told him, he wouldn't be able to face me without being ashamed. And I would expect nothing less than shame. After a few days, he and Charlie would just not come, though it was mainly because I always told them that I was fine. I would never admit just how much I needed to spill my guts.

On Sunday evening, the night before school began, I received a call from my new psychiatrist's secretary informing me that my first appointment would be after school the next day. Why was I not surprised? It may have been because Charlie had been warning me all week that I was going to have to talk to someone eventually. But to me, I still believed most shrinks were all the same. Knowing that I shouldn't judge him so quickly without meeting him, I let it go and decided to take a chance. This may be the one that actually makes a difference. Though I would probably beat them with my cain if they asked me "how I feel." It seems that I have been resisting the urge to beat people a lot lately.

Sunday night was spent meditating. I needed to prepare myself mentally for the first day of school. I hated to admit it, but I was scared. Starting over was something I had wanted, but knowing that people around here had never had to deal with a blind girl was making me nervous. Getting babied all the time and being treated like I was an idiot was not part of my new life, but I wouldn't put it past the townspeople to implant it into my new life anyway. I wouldn't want my unusually short temper to make me seem like I was always that angry. They were so old-fashioned I could almost imagine these townspeople pulling out the torches and pitchforks if they heard that there were vampires in their quaint little town. **(A/N: Sorry, I couldn't resist :)**

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The next morning, I woke at the usual 6: 30 AM. After showering and having my human moments, I went downstairs, without tripping much to my surprise, to find that Charlie was already up and ready to leave. I sat down with my decaffeinated coffee and reveled in the sounds of the morning. Sounds in Forks were much different from those of Phoenix. In Phoenix, you couldn't hear nature's song because the bustle of the city was always overpowering everything else. But in Forks, the sounds of nature just came out. I could hear the birds rustling away in their nests, the crickets making their music, and the frequent patter of rain hitting the concrete. It was different but in a good way.

Minutes or maybe even hours later, Emmett came downstairs ready to leave. He just couldn't wait for me to meet Rosalie, not that I wasn't excited to meet the girl who had been giving my brother all the love he deserved.

After grabbing my jacket, we headed out to his Jeep. The lingering scent of rain in the air was clean and refreshing, something that didn't compare to the dry air of Phoenix. Most days I would find that the rain was annoying, but today, it meant that the rain had washed away the past and it was giving me a new start. It was giving me something that I had wanted for a whole year.

The drive was entertaining for me, especially since Emmett had decided to start singing along to Avril Lavigne's song, Girlfriend. **(A/N: Just imagine him singing it. It's hilarious)**. As we pulled into what I assumed was the school parking lot, I could only imagine what the school looked like. I couldn't remember it clearly from the last time I had actually seen it, but the picture of several small buildings that resembled small houses all grouped into one small area was implanted in my mind. I jumped out of the car and surprised myself yet again by not toppling over as soon as I hit the ground. It seemed as if losing one sense had caused me to gain some balance. I thought too soon because I took one step forward and tripped over what I was guessing was thin air. Emmett came around and hooked his arm with mine and led me to the front office. Though I already had my schedule, I still needed to grab my attendance slip for my teachers to sign.

As we walked, I heard the sound of gravel crunching underneath the passerby's feet. From the sound of it, other students and faculty were already arriving for the day. And out of Forks High's entire school population of about three hundred and fifty-eight students, now three hundred and fifty-nine, I was the newest attraction. I could feel the stares of people all around me, almost as if I was the lion that was about to jump through the ring of fire.

I felt the cool air rush past me as we entered the building that I was assuming was the front office. Emmett tugged me along, though I already knew my way around very well. I could feel the carpet beneath my feet, making it difficult for me to hear the sounds of people walking around unless they were dragging their feet. We walked up to the front desk and heard the taps of fingers on a keyboard, typing away quickly.

"Mrs. Cope?" Emmett called. I heard the typing come to a halt and felt the familiar feel of the secretary's stare on my eyes. I decided now would be the perfect time to introduce myself. "Hello Mrs. Cope, my name is Isabella Swan and I am a new student here." She composed herself and replied, "Oh yes, we've been expecting you. Did you need your schedule?" I shook my head no and spoke, "No, I just needed the attendance slip for my teachers." I could imagine her nodding her head as she shuffled papers looking for the sheet of paper.

"Ah, found it! Well, all you have to do is get your teachers to sign it and return it at the end of the day." I nodded and pulled Emmett along to leave the office. As we walked out the door, I welcomed the scent of the clean air. The office had had the strong smell of potpourri that was way too overpowering for such a small room. Faintly, I began hearing the clicking of heals coming nearer and nearer to us. It almost seemed as if the person were stomping their way over here.

"EMMETT SWAN!!" The voice was obviously a female's but even angry, it sounded beautiful. And the only person that I could assume would be angry with Emmett was the one and only Rosalie, someone that I could guess I was just about to meet.

"Rose! I want you to mee-" Just as he was about to introduce me, she cut him off. "And who exactly did you want me to meet Emmett?! This girl. I can't believe you are cheating on me! Do you honestly think that I am so stupid that by pretending not to have another girl on your arm, I would assume that she was just a friend?" Before she could go any further, I decided now was the right time to intervene.

"Hi, you must be Rosalie. My name is Bella. I'm Emmett's sister." I could just picture her mouth dropping open in surprise. My guess was that Emmett wanted to surprise her by introducing me. I just couldn't believe that she would think that Emmett would cheat on her with someone that looked like me. I mean, I didn't compare to what Rosalie looked like according to Emmett's description of her.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Emmett why the hell didn't you tell me that she was your sister?!" I almost burst out laughing when I heard a smack, which I assumed was her hand coming into contact with his arm.

"Ow! What the heck, Rose?! I was just about to introduce her to you, but you automatically assumed I was cheating on you! How can you think that? I love you." I had to turn away from the "aw" that came out of her mouth and the noises afterwards that I could only assume was them making out. I personally didn't want to hear them, but I had to deal with it. After clearing my throat multiple times in order to get their attention, they finally got the picture and Emmett showed me to my first class, English. After bidding the lovely couple goodbye, since they both had senior classes, and promising them that I would sit with them at lunch, I found Mrs. Kent's desk and handed her the form. She and I were going to get allow well. She was beyond impressed with my past grades in English classes and by the fact that I had already read all the material that we would be studying. For me, it just meant less work. I could just pull out my old essays and not have to worry so much. Yes, school was going to be very easy.

My cain in front of me, I found my way to my seat. The classroom was still empty, other than Mrs. Kent and me. I took out my notebook and doodled. Most would wonder why I would doodle, especially since I can't see. But much like many other things that I do, being blind doesn't affect my ability to pick up a pencil and draw or write. It just means that I can't see what I drew; though I can always feel the creases in the paper to imagine what I drew.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the first bell ringing, signaling time for the students to go to class. I started taking deep breathes, preparing myself for the tedium I was just about to face. I exhaled slowly when I heard the first shuffles of feet. The sounds got louder as they passed by me but not without gaping at me for a few moments. Soon after, more students entered, chatting away and then becoming silent as they saw me, not able to look me in the eyes without seeing the milky veil. After receiving so many glances such as these, I didn't even blush. It had become normal, not that I wanted it to be. I wanted to be normal, but that was obviously not something that I deserved.

After a few more moments of gawking from other students, the tardy bell rang. The sound of shuffling and the scraping of chairs all around the classroom signaled me to "look" up to the front of the class. Now was the moment that I dreaded. I knew and hated what was going to happen next.

"Hello class. Welcome to another year of school. I hope your summer break was pleasant, but now that it is over, we need to get back to work. We have a new student this year. Her name is Isabella Swan. Please raise your hand, dear." And there it was, the signal for me to embarrass myself. I raised my hand slightly and then lowered it back down, heat becoming concentrated on my cheeks as I blushed.

Mrs. Kent continued her discussion on the books we would be reading. Having heard it all before, I kept my head down and avoided the gazes of the other curious students. My head would be down a lot this year.

After what seemed like hours later when in reality it was only about one hour later, the bell rang, dismissing class. I gathered my books into my bag, grabbed my cain, and stood to leave when I heard someone stop in front of me. "Hi, I'm Eric Yorkie. You must be Isabella." He seemed nice enough, but from what I could hear in his voice, I could picture him as the overly helpful chess club type. "I prefer Bella. Nice to meet you Eric."

"What class do you have next?" he asked. Yes, he was the overly helpful type. "I have Trigonometry."

"Awesome, so do I. Do you need help finding your way?"

"No thank you. I know my way. You are welcome to walk with me, though." I didn't want to be rude. As much as I hated the attention, I knew better than to go and hurt someone's feelings.

We walked on to Mr. Varner's class where everything was the same as English. Of course, it seems Varner is out to get me. He made me introduce myself to the whole class and I probably resembled a tomato for at least five minutes. Apparently, his toe hadn't healed from the stapler yet.

Much to my distaste, I met the school gossip in this class. I believe her name was Jessica. I could imagine her as one of the followers of the head girl a.k.a the alpha hyena. Jessica was one of the lesser hyenas that followed orders when it came to attacking the baby gazelles a.k.a the good people of Forks High. I made a mental note to steer clear of her and the head hyena. I didn't need someone like her going around spreading gossip about me and my blindness. I already had enough attention without her.

Class continued with the murmurs of other students about me and Mr. Varner not noticing nor caring what the students were talking about. As soon as the bell rang, I shot out of class, trying my best to get away without running into others. As I passed through the buildings, the students spread like the Red Sea, whispering and asking questions about the new blind girl.

Ignoring the many whispers, I made it to my Spanish class and handed my slip to the teacher, Senorita Rodriguez. I took my seat without having to introduce myself, much to my relief, and just began concentrating on the sounds around me. About five minutes later, I heard footsteps come towards me and stop right in front of my desk.

"Hey. My. Name. Is. Mike. You. Must. Be. Isabella." He was talking to me like I was an idiot! I felt anger wash over me but quickly composed myself and plastered a sweet smile on my face. I faced towards the voice. I spoke like I would to a child, "Why, hello Mike. Did you know that I'm blind, not deaf or stupid?" My voice was still composed when I finished. "Oh and by the way, it's Bella." I looked down and bit my lip to stifle my laughter. Suddenly, I felt his hand stroke my cheek. It sent an involuntary shiver down my spine.

"Hey, Bella. How about this? You, me, movies on Friday." His words came out as a statement. As if he expected me to just go with him. I could already guess who he thought he was. He was one of those guys that was always chased after in high school then ended up as a taxi driver. Great, just great. But before I could reply to his "request," I was interrupted by a tinkling, bell-like voice. "Mike, get lost. She doesn't want to go out with you. Go ask Jessica, she would gladly go with you to the janitor's closet." I had to cover my mouth to stop my laughter. I heard as Mike huffed and stormed away. I turned towards the sound of a chair scraping next to me to thank my beautifully-voiced savior.

But she beat me to the punch. "Hi, I'm Alice, Alice Cullen. You must be Bella Swan, Emmett's sister." I nodded and unconsciously smiled. This person sounded exactly as I imagined her: peppy, happy, and full of spunk. I imagined that she was as cute as a kitten, but when she wanted something, she was fierce. "Ah, so you are the famous Alice, sister of Edward and girlfriend of Jasper. I've heard a lot about you from Emmett. Thanks for keeping Emmett out of trouble. You and Rosalie have probably saved him from going to jail for his crazy shenanigans." She and I laughed, but I already knew that I was jealous. Her laughter was like delicate chimes, high pitched but musical.

We talked about random things, such as Emmett and his behavior. She informed me that Emmett had gone streaking on a dare throughout the school before a football game. He never got caught because he was _supposedly_ prepping for the game. There's Emmett for you.

Spanish passed with few occurrences, leaving only lunch, biology and gym left for my day. Alice and I walked together since she sat with Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. Though, as I walked into the lunch room, I felt the stares of at least one hundred people on me. I was used to this, but it was just getting plain annoying. Why did people find the need to just stare at me? The least they could do is try and not just directly stare and gawk. Even if I am blind, it's not hard to tell that they stare.

After grabbing a bottle of lemonade and having to draw the lunch lady's attention away from my eyes, Alice and I walked over to the table where Emmett greeted me with a big bear hug and Rosalie and Jasper said a small "hello." There was a comfortable silence before the conversation began.

"So, Bella, have you met the school snobs yet?" Jasper asked curiously, but there was a hint of humor in his voice. My mind automatically reminded me of Jessica Stanley. I could definitely see her as one of the hyenas. "Oh, you mean the hyena, Jessica?" All went silent before everyone started cracking up. "I like your comparison, Bella. I'm glad you haven't befriended her. She would just use you. But you haven't met Lauren Mallory yet?" I shook my head "no" but didn't ask questions. I could imagine this Lauren. Bottle blonde that acted like a bimbo. She was probably the goal of every high school player, but she gave in easily. She was definitely someone that I would avoid at all costs. The head hyena had nothing of interest to offer me.

"Well, speak of the Devil and she shall come." Rosalie spoke under her breathe just loud enough for our table to hear. I heard the loud clicks of heels, stilettos from what I could hear, come closer to our table from directly in front of me. Of course, the hyena would wear heals.

"Hi, I'm like, Lauren. You must be, like, Isabella. I see you chose to like hang out with these like freaks. You can come and like sit with us instead of these like, losers." I had to bite my lip from laughing. Her vocabulary and the overuse of the word "like" was purely hysterical and I could hear everyone else muffle their laughter. I turned towards her voice and smiled innocently. "Well, hi Lauren. I'm Bella. And guess what? The only loser I see here is you. Get lost." I don't know where the sudden bout of courage came from, but I liked it. She huffed and sloppily tried to strut away. As soon as she was gone, the rest of the table and I burst out laughing. Suddenly, everyone went silent and I felt the atmosphere tense.

"Now, now, Ms. Swan. That wasn't very nice," the angelic voice whispered seductively in my ear. I knew it was Edward, but the way he spoke was disgusting. As if he was trying to seduce me. A shiver went down my spine, and it wasn't a good shiver. It was one of those "I-think-I'm-going-to-be-sick" shivers that made me just want to spin around and hit him. This was sad because I had honestly thought that Edward was a good guy.

"Hello _Edward." _I spoke curtly, not wanting to give him the idea that I wanted him to continue talking to me that way. "Edward, what do you want?" It was Alice that spoke this time. She had obviously seen him act this way before, meaning that he wasn't just a jock; he was a player and obviously a good one.

"Why Alice, can't I just come by and sit with my friends and family?" His voice held shock that mockingly stood out. If only at this moment I could grab my cain, he would definitely get a whack. "No, Edward, you can't. You haven't sat with us since we first moved here. I don't expect you to just come back out of nowhere." Emmett spoke quietly, but his voice was menacing. I knew they were friends, but when Emmett was angry, you didn't want to be on the receiving end of his anger. I didn't say anything for fear that I would end up getting angrier.

"Well you all, I just wanted to come by and welcome Bella to Forks High. I was wondering if she has been able to appreciate all the good things this school has to offer." He spoke innocently, but his tone was suggestive. Luckily, before he could speak anymore, the bell rang for class. I hurriedly picked up my cain and book bag and left. The Edward I had met was polite and quiet, not the player that just hit on me.

I went straight to Biology, got my slip signed by Mr. Banner, and sat in my seat. After a few minutes of listening to students bustle in and feeling the stares of people on me, I heard the scraping of the chair next to me. Their hot breathe blew over my ear, making me shiver in disgust as they whispered, "Hello Bella." Edward Cullen. I was already beginning to hate him. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? I didn't want to be one of his new make-out buddies.

"Edward, just back off okay? I'm no Lauren. Just go and take her to the janitor's closet, okay?" He didn't speak after that, but I could tell that he was shocked. No one had probably ever spoken to him that way before, but I figured it was a chance for him to get a taste of rejection. He couldn't always get what he wanted.

Class began with the normal banter about what the class would be made up of and things of that manner. I had to admit, everything Mr. Banner discussed was review for me. In Phoenix, this class was taken in my freshmen year. I would probably learn more on a trip to the Kansas Underground Salt Museum than in this class. Not that a visit to KUSM wouldn't be interesting.

Towards the end of class, I felt something warm touch my leg. It went from my knee and started going up my thigh. I swatted away Edward's hand and glared at him. I could tell he was smirking, but I wasn't having any of that. I smiled innocently and grabbed my cain as stealthily as I could. I leaned forward with my hand on the side of my neck. My foot touched Edward's and playfully tapped it. Just when I knew that he thought I was giving in to his will, I hit his foot with my cain. He quietly hissed in pain and cursed under his breathe. I held in my laugh and as soon as the bell rang, I smiled at him and left.

Gym was simple for me because I couldn't exactly do anything. The coach hadn't found any exercises that I could do that weren't stationary so he just allowed me to sit out. The sound of the coach's whistle and rubber screeching against the wooden court was all that I heard for the entire class. As soon as we were dismissed, I walked out to find that Emmett was waiting for me. He quickly apologized for Edward's behavior, that is, until I told him what had happened. He and I laughed heartily until we reached the Jeep. It was then that I remembered my appointment with the doctor. Let's just say that I wasn't exactly excited to meet him, whoever he was.

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**OK, I did it!! Next is the psychiatrist appointment!! Thanks to ****Blindwind**** for helping me out!! OH, and it turns out that I was wrong to say that Bella was pronounced legally blind. It turns out, she is just blind. In fact, I found out that ****I ****an legally blind. I just wear contacts to correct my vision. Thank you again ****Aden101****!! **

**Review!! I have 68 so far. I want to see if I can get to 80 soon!! Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but a girl can dream, right? :)**

**I love all reviewers and reviews, so review!! **

**Hugs and Bad Impersonations of Avril Lavigne, Laura a.k.a sovoyita**


	7. Chapter 6: Definitely Not Average

**OK, I'm psyched!! You reviewers are the EPITOME OF AWESOMENESS!! I thought I would have to wait forever for reviews but it turns out I already have at least 96!! I mean, that's at least 16 more than I requested!! As a gift, I send you all SCENTED PINE CONES!! Cinnamon scent...Mmmm… **

**Anyway, back to business…**

**Note for Aden101: The phrase "Baby Donald Duck Antenna topper" is in here. IN YOUR FACE!!**

**NOTE for Ericaisdazzled: I have used the word "bucket;" therefore, I have defeated your word…for now. **

**And I would like to thank all the little people/reviewers for reading (and reviewing) my story! You all rock. I mean, when I said I wanted 80 reviews, you gave me 90!! That's BIZARRE!! **

**You marshmallow peeps DAZZLE ME!! -swoons- OK, here is Chapter 6!!**

**Disclaimer: I asked Stephenie Meyer if I could own Twilight and she got a restraining order against me. So, I've given up on trying to own Edward, Bella, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, and all others.**

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**Chapter 6: Definitely Not Average**

**EVOP**

The occurrences during lunch and Biology class were unexpected, to say the least. Most of the female population of Forks fell for my charm, whether I intentionally charmed them or not. Heck, I had elderly women trying to flirt with me half the time. But as I already knew, Bella was not an average girl. Still, she should have at least swooned or something.

I was walking, well, more like limping, out to my Volvo, but as I got there, I saw that Jasper was leaning against the driver's side. The look on his face showed that saying that he was displeased would be an understatement. When he caught my gaze, I found that I couldn't look away. His glare was filled with disgust, a look I often received from Alice and Rosalie, but never from him. Jasper was the quiet one of the group, never truly getting caught up in these sorts of predicaments.

As I finally reached him, he took a step toward me, almost penetrating my personal space. I had to look away from him; normally I wouldn't be bothered, but his anger was definitely new. "Edward, what the hell were you thinking?! Wait, don't answer that. You were thinking that you could get in her pants if you used the old Cullen charm."

Saying I was shocked would be yet another understatement. My eyes were probably going to fall out of their sockets and my jaw quite possibly could have been sitting on the concrete. His stare never let up as I gawked at his newly expressed emotions. After a few seconds, I composed myself and put on my poker face. I would prefer to seem indifferent than let him know that I was actually pretty much very afraid of him.

"Jasper, what are you talking about? Or for that matter, who are you talking about?" Just hearing myself say that was enough to make me want to vomit. The words came out arrogant and cocky, something that I truly didn't want.

"This sounds just like you Edward. This is exactly why you can't pursue Bella. She isn't like every other girl that you have gone after and she definitely isn't _Tanya_." I immediately froze when he said that name. No one had mentioned her for the past two years; in fact, that name had been avoided ever since we moved here from Alaska. Just hearing that name was enough to make my blood run cold.

"Admit it Edward. _She _is the reason that you act the way you do. And now because of all that she put you through, you now take it out on every other girl you meet. I can honestly say that when you do it to Lauren or Jessica, it doesn't bother anyone as much because it is expected, but when you do it to Bella…" He shook his head and I immediately felt quilt crash over me in painful waves. He was right. Bella was kind and sweet; a real angel. Lauren and Jessica were the complete opposite. They were rude, obnoxious and purely snobby.

For someone to hurt or treat an angel in such a manner is unforgivable. And what he said about _her_ was completely true. Ever since we had moved here, I had never actually had a relationship that included actual dating. And I had never tried. After one girl, there was always another that was just waiting in line. Two years ago, I never would have expected this from myself. My biological mother, Elizabeth Masen, always told me to treat women with respect, but I had completely let her down. I had ruined any chance that I had with Bella.

I was snapped out of my epiphany when Jasper hit me on the side of the head with a book that I hadn't noticed he was holding. "Edward! Are you even listening?!" I just stared at him for a moment before I actually came back to reality. The pain from the smack was finally setting in and my hand automatically went up to put pressure on it. I deserved a lot more pain than this, though. I deserved to feel fire running through my veins in order to pay for what I did to Bella. **(A/N: There's the self-loathing Edward that we know and love. OK, from this point on, he is going to be better. I hate typing about the player Edward. It depresses me.)**

"Jasper…I really screwed up this time. I promise, no, I swear that I am going to fix this. There is no one else to blame for my actions except for myself. Not even _Tanya_. You won't be seeing the "Player Edward" anymore." Jasper's eyes were wide and then they turned into a fixed glare. He was looking for any sort of dishonesty or hidden motives, no doubt. When he didn't find any, he relaxed his gaze and seemed to relax.

"You really like her, don't you?" He spoke quietly. I nodded, looking down. Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed. Never before had I fallen for a girl so quickly or so hard, not even with _her_. And never before had any girl actually made me want to change my ways. None were special enough, but Bella was different. She was abnormal, unpredictable, and beautiful. I would do anything to prove to her that I could change. She may never forgive me for what I did, and I didn't expect her to, but maybe she could find it in her heart to let me into her life. For that, I would go to the ends of the earth just to prove it. She was definitely not average.

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**BPOV**

On the drive to the psychiatrist's office, my mind pondered over what could happen with this new doctor. With all the experience I had with shrinks, I knew that many would do anything to get results from their patient. They needed good track records in order to get more business and if they had a dud patient, they would let them go. Not that that would bother me, I just didn't want to let down Charlie. He already had to deal with a blind daughter; he didn't need a "helpless case," as a few of my past shrinks had said.

And it was then that realization hit me of my actions today. I had actually stood up to Lauren, the main hyena. And then, I crushed the school player's foot with my hard wooden cane; which surprisingly didn't miss his foot and hit the hard tile floor. Never before had I actually acted on my violent thoughts and today, I had let my temper get the best of me. As much as I hated to, I would have to apologize to him. Who knows what kind of damage I could have caused. I did put quite a bit of force into that hit. And I have a feeling that I my want to beat people lately with my cane was one of my forces behind that one powerful hit to his foot. Yes, I would definitely have to apologize.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the Jeep's engine being shut off. And then my big teddy bear of a brother spoke, "Hey Bells, we're here. I am going to take you in so you don't get lost in there. But first I have to get out the bucket of Baby Donald Duck antenna toppers from the back." The way he said it was so casual, as if this occurred all the time. Before I could stop myself, I just blurted out my question.

"Emmett, why the hell do you have a bucket full of Baby Donald duck antenna toppers?" When it came out, it sounded very humorous. Soon, Emmett and I were laughing uncontrollably. I was doubled over in laughter, holding my ribs, afraid that the laughter was going to cause me to lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. I'm sure Emmett looked the same way.

Finally, I got an answer. "Well Bells, you'll see." I never said it was a good answer. After Emmett grabbed his bucket of antenna toppers, he escorted me inside. I heard the glass doors slide open, the cool air of the building much more comfortable than the humid air outside. I could feel the stares again. It was getting irritating. In Phoenix, things were the same way, but a much larger scale. But over there, the stares would last for a few seconds before they were averted to something or someone else more out of the normal. Here, the stares would last from the moment I walked into a room to the moment I left; and possibly even after I left said room.

The stress that had disappeared when the antenna toppers came into play was now back and rearing its ugly head, laughing maniacally in my face. After signing in, I took a seat. After a few moments, I heard Emmett's chair squeak as he leaned towards me and whispered, "Jeesh Bella. Stop shaking your leg like that. It's making me nervous and I'm just going to wait for you to get out of your appointment." After a few moments of trying to control my shaking legs and controlling my now ragged breathing, there was a very calming, yet strong voice.

"Bella Swan, we're ready for you." I stood and headed towards the voice with my cane. I heard the steady breathing of the person who I assumed was the doctor. His voice was soothing and strangely comforting, something I wasn't used to when it came to shrinks. In fact, most of my doctors had such a professional voice that I felt like I was telling my story to a complete stranger. Many people would find that helpful, but for me, I would rather not burden a stranger with my problems.

I held out my hand for him to shake, which he did. "Good evening, Dr…" I had forgotten that I didn't know his name. Well, this was a bit awkward. I could feel a slight hint of heat on my cheeks.

"Cullen. But I would prefer if you call me Carlisle. You must be the girl that Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice have been talking about nonstop for the past week." Now my face was definitely beet red. I probably resembled a tomato right now. Great, what an excellent way to start out a session! Hint the heavy sarcasm. Then I thought about what he had said. He was Edward and Alice's father. And Edward had been talking about me. Crap. Well, Edward and his player ways weren't my main problem right now. For now, I had to analyze my new psychiatrist in hope that I wouldn't get arrested for beating him with my cane.

I nodded and proceeded, "Well, let's get this session over with, Dr. Cull-I mean Carlisle." He chuckled lightly and led me into the room that I suppose was his office. I sat down in a soft leather chair and waited for Carlisle to start. There were a few shuffles of paper before he began the session.

"Okay, Bella. So, how was your first day of school?" I was taken aback. Normally my shrinks would ask me the "how do you feel" question first. Or maybe even just say, "so what is wrong with you?" This doctor was definitely different, and for some reason, I felt like I could tell him whatever I needed to say. After composing myself, I answered.

"It was…good. I suppose it will just take some getting used to." I could almost imagine his nod. It was then that I realized that I had no idea what he looked like. Well, now that I'm paying him, I'm sure I have the right to know what he looks like.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?" I felt a warm blush spread across. Most people don't normally get asked what they look like, especially when the asker is directly in front of them.

"What do you look like?" He chuckled again and I'm sure my blush grew pronounced to the point where I could probably stop traffic. The town's new blind girl blushes red like a tomato. Yes, that would pretty much stop traffic.

"Well, I'm twenty eight years old, blond hair, blue eyes, and I'm about six foot three inches." I thought about it and began to draw a mental picture. From what I could piece together, he probably looked like a movie star. Then was when I realized his age. He wouldn't have been able to have children that were both seventeen.

"Are Edward and Alice adopted?" I had blurted out the question before I could stop myself. My hand flew to my mouth and I quickly apologize, "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that if it is too personal." It was then that I heard a slight laugh that he was probably trying to hide.

"It's okay, Bella. Yes, they are adopted. My wife, Esme and I adopted them at an early age." I nodded and there was a bit of an awkward silence. Weird, you would think that after being paid about one hundred dollars an hour, you would be talking a lot. Carlisle was the one who started the talking.

"Bella, I've gone over old records with your past psychiatrists and many have said that you are either a helpless case or you're cured. But quite honestly, I doubt either one is true." A slight blush crept onto my face and I turned my face down towards my hands where they were sitting in my lap. "I know this must be hard for you, but you need to talk to me. We both know that you can't be feeling well with all that you've kept in. I don't even know what the accident was. According to the other psychiatrists, you didn't even give them that piece of information. Have you talked to anyone about it?" I shook my head and refused to relieve myself of the pressure that was building behind my eyes. Crying now would show my weakness. Not even a paid psychiatrist could fix me.

"Look, I didn't even want to go to the shrinks, okay? I've been forced this entire time; therefore, I felt no need to tell them about the accident because it wouldn't do any good. I'm blind and that's all there is to it. If I tell you what happened in the accident, will that fix my eyes? No, it won't. I'm sorry that I'm angry. I'm sorry that I don't want to talk about it because it would make me remember. Have any of you psychiatrist's ever thought that maybe remembering is the last thing I want to do?" There was a silence before I heard Carlisle stand and come over next to me. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder to try and relax my shoulders that were on the verge of shaking.

"Bella, I understand. It's hard and no one likes to remember bad experiences, but you need to remember to end it all. How about we end this session for now? We'll start again next Monday. How about we have the session at my office at home? It is honestly more comfortable than this one and Alice, Edward, Rosalie, or Jasper can drop you off so they don't waste gas?" I nodded and stood. I held out my hand for him to shake, which he did and left the office. Once I entered the lobby, I could hear Emmett's feet shuffling on the floor, probably trying to think of something to entertain himself with. As soon as I walked out, his booming voice came. "Bells!! Finally, you're out! I thought I was going to die in here."

The stares that I felt increased, people probably wondering why the heck some idiot was yelling at the top of their lungs in such a quiet lobby. I blushed lightly and shook my head before turning to Emmett and looping my arm with his and walking out of the doctor's office. When Emmett asked how it went, I just said it was okay. He didn't need to know that I was just about to have an emotional break down. Then I thought of something. "Hey Emmett, what happened to the antenna toppers?" I could hear the smile in his voice, "Don't worry about it, Bella."

After we drove home, I cooked a quick dinner for the Emmett, Charlie, and I then proceeded to complete the little homework that I had. After finishing with everything else, I grabbed my old pajamas and headed for the shower where I turned on the hot water so that it would be scolding and undressed. When I stepped in, the water stung for a moment before my body adjusted to the temperature. I allowed the water to relax my tensed muscles. It was then that my mind started to mull over the day's happenings.

I had survived the first day of school after getting hit on and asked out by a self-absorbed jock, talking back to the school's head hyena, getting hit on by the school's top player and then crushing his foot with my cane all the while making a few awesome friends. Pretty good day if you ask me. But then my mind went to the session that I had had. It was different. No one had actually cared how my day was, they just cared how I felt because they wanted to "fix me". Carlisle actually cared about something besides fixing my "problem".

I stepped out of the shower, drying off my hair and dressing myself. After saying goodnight to Emmett and Charlie, I headed to bed where I slip underneath the covers of my old quilt and allowed sleep to start overcoming me. One last thought entered my mind.

_This town, this new life, and my new shrink are definitely not average._

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**OK, there's chapter 6!! I hope you liked it. So, I am just going to clear up a few things:**

**Edward is now going to be changing his ways. I hate player Edward. He's stupid. Normal, self-loathing, chivalrous Edward rocks my fuzzy green Earth Day socks!! **

**Carlisle is the shrink!!**

**I used Ericaisdazzled and Aden101 words/phrases, so I win!! **

**And I like to stick to the normal storyline, but since it's all human and that is impossible, I'm going to make the characters as similar to their own characters as possible. I have been reading over Twilight and New Moon just trying to make sure that I'm getting everything right. So if you see something you don't like that has to do with their personalities, realize that mostly everything is from the book. **

**So there you have it. And you all need to review!! You've been doing great with reviewing so far, and I'm totally psyched! **

**As a gift for reviewing, I will send you a Baby Donald Duck antenna topper telepathically!! WOOO!!**

**P.S. Thanks for all the comments and advice! It's all appreciated!!**


	8. Chapter 7: Earning Her Trust

**A/N: Did you all know that I love you? Because I do. I already have more than 100 reviews!! You all rock my fuzzy emo My Chemical Romance socks!! And you make me want to take my cap off and head bang my newly acquired emo haircut. I'm not emo, but I like the awesome style!!**

**So, I was inspired by all the freakishly awesome reviews that I just had to update faster! See! Reviews do make me work faster!! **

**Note to Ericaisdazzled: CANDY CORN IS IN THE CHAPTER!! IN YOUR FACE!! BUT I STILL HATE CANDY CORN…stupid corn syrup, sugar, water, and powdery, flavor additives mixture….**

**Note to Aden101: St. Christopher Medal is in here!! You know, you have some of the most random sayings and words ever to give me. It's AWESOMENESS!! **

**Note to Blindwind: I used Shadow ghost….I hope it doesn't sound stupid. It was kind of hard to place in the chapter. But I did it. **

**For reviewing, I send you all stolen DVD players!! Telepathically, of course. (I'm Hispanic, that's just how you roll when you live in South Texas; I am only about ½ an hour away from the Mexican border!) (Go PIRATED DVDS!!) JK**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own lots of socks!! Courtesy of Wal-Mart….But I don't own Wal-Mart. I'm depressed…I know what will cheer me up…SOCKS!! And Baby Donald Duck antenna toppers!!**

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**Chapter 7: Earning Her Trust**

**BVOP**

Unsurprisingly, the week passed slowly. For the remainder of the week, Edward didn't show up, and I felt that it was my entire fault. I didn't think I would hurt him that badly. Even if I did, he would have come anyway, I think. Maybe he was just avoiding me. I hope he doesn't think I'm some sort of jerk now.

On a lighter, yet still annoying note, his absence didn't mean that I wasn't bothered by the male gender. Mike, Eric, and a boy known as Tyler Crowley all decided that I was their new target. Eric was a bit more subtle, but Mike and Tyler were both constantly bothering me during and between classes. It was now Friday and we were all sitting at lunch, meaning Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and I. All of a sudden, I heard two sets of footsteps coming towards me.

"What do you want Mike and Tyler?" I said exasperatedly. It truly was getting annoying. Why couldn't they understand that I'm not worth going after? Here I was, boring, Plain Jane Bella and the only reason they "wanted" me was because I was something new to look at. They just wanted to mark their territory, so to speak. And I wasn't owned or used by anyone.

"Well, Bella, I was going to ask you to the Girls' Choice Dance." That was Mike and he was truly stupid. He even said it was the girls' choice and yet he was asking me. I opened my mouth to say something, but honestly, nothing could be said. I just burst out laughing. Suddenly, everyone at the table was laughing and cracking up. I'm sure Mike and Tyler were completely dumbfounded about what was going on.

Once our laughter died down, Tyler started, "Bella, I was wondering if since you obviously wouldn't want to take this idiot here, if you would like to ask me?" I was still giggling slightly and I just shook my head to get the point across. What was up with these boys? It must be all the rain drowning out their brains. They may be like chickens. Whenever the rain falls, they look up until their nostrils fill with water and they drown. I could only hope that this was the case.

"Why the hell not? You know you want me? I see you turn every time you hear my voice!" Tyler exclaimed, quite loudly I might add. I could feel the stares of the whole cafeteria and the warm blush that I had received from laughing so much only grew deeper. I "glared" in his direction and before I could speak, Emmett spoke up.

"Crowley, Newton, you better get the hell out of here before your faces get smashed with my fist!" His voice was menacing and full of venom. I had heard this Emmett before. Even when we were children, he always protected me. He needed to calm down before he did something rash.

"Why should we leave? This cafeteria and table is free for anyone to sit at." Mike tried to speak bravely, but his voice wavered a bit. He was probably petrified at this moment. I wouldn't be surprised; Emmett was huge and intimidating. But I couldn't have Emmett getting in trouble for getting into a fight. "Emmett, just calm down. They're not worth it." The tense atmosphere seemed to ease up.

"Okay, Bells. I won't beat them up, but they will get it later. You idiots better leave now." I didn't hear their footsteps. Instead, they just snickered and stepped closer. Before anything else could be done, I heard the sound of plastic hitting the floor and the cries of the boys. Everyone around the cafeteria and the table were laughing loudly. It even sounded as though teachers were laughing. Something rolled on the floor and tapped my foot, so I bent down and picked it up. It had many grooves on it and it was about the size of my palm.

"Alice, what the hell is Emmett throwing?" I felt her take it out of my head and start laughing even more. Once she calmed down, she spoke, "He's throwing Baby Donald duck antenna toppers. He had some left over." Wait, how did she know that he had them? What was up with these freaking antenna toppers? And why, oh why, would they be Baby Donald duck?

Rosalie answered my unspoken question, "Emmett got dared by Jasper to put them on all the cars in the hospital parking lot; including the ones without antennas. So, he was using super glue to put them on the cars without antennas. And he had about two buckets left over. But I honestly don't know why he is carrying some around in his bag." **(A/N: That answers the Baby Donald Duck antenna topper question. Why he carries them around with him is still a mystery though, even to me.) **

After lots of laughing and allowing Emmett to pelt Mike and Tyler with the antenna toppers, the bell for lunches end rang loudly. I bid goodbye to my friends and headed to biology. The voice of someone who I presumed was a teacher was echoing throughout the hall. Apparently, Emmett had blamed Mike and Tyler for the mess in the cafeteria and had also said that they were picking on me. Now they had a week's worth of detention. Again, being blind had its perks.

When I got into biology, I sat at the table alone again. I still felt that I should apologize to Edward about his foot. His actions had just set me off. I didn't think I could trust him again, though. I wasn't exactly sorry; I just didn't think I would hurt him that badly. I heard Mr. Banner roll in his cart. The sound of beakers and graduated cylinders clinking against each other were the signal that we were doing a lab today.

"Okay class, today we are doing the St. Christopher medal lab. Each pair of partners will get one medal and we will be trying to find the total metal composition of each. Each is different, so you won't be able to cheat off of each other. Whichever pair is done by the end of class will not have to do the five-page essay that I will be assigning you today on the differences and similarities between silver and gold." Well that sucks. I had already done this lab and given the record to Mr. Banner, but that meant that I had to do the essay. It wouldn't be fair unless I did the lab again, and that would mean that I would need to be able to see the different chemical components. This just makes everything so much harder. _Damn you Edward. I didn't think it was possible, but now I hate you even more._

I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards me. Then I recognized the squeaky sounds that would normally come off of Mr. Banner's shoes, the pair that he always used for when the students were dangerous acids. "Ms. Swan, since Mr. Cullen isn't here again, you will have to do the essay. It wouldn't be fair to the other students." I nodded and was about to tell him I understood, but then the classroom door opened.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, nice of you to join us."

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**EVOP**

The entire week, I had mentally prepared myself for Friday. I wanted to make a good impression for Bella. Getting her to let her in to her life, even as just a friend, was going to be difficult. It would mean that she would have to forgive me for my horrific behavior on Monday and the likeliness of that happening was slim. But I wasn't given up yet. But for fear of her cane, I wore my hiking boots to soften the blow incase it came into contact with my foot again.

I had told Carlisle why I was staying home for the week. For some reason, he didn't complain. It's almost as if he knew exactly why I would want to fix things with her. As for Emmett, I still hadn't talked to him. When Emmett was angry with something, or in this case, someone, he could hold a grudge. It would take a lot of reassuring on my part for him to actually believe that I would never hurt his sister ever again.

I reached the biology class room door and turned the knob slowly. It was now or never. The door creaked open and I walked in.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, nice of you to join us." Mr. Banner, who was obviously annoyed, was standing before Bella's desk. Bella; she looked beautiful. The white blouse she wore fit her perfectly and just seemed so natural. I felt my knees weaken at the sight of her. Walking over to the desk, I watched her every move. She seemed to stiffen when I got closer. The frown upon her lips became more pronounced as I sat down. An angel like her should only smile. It was then that I took in the realization that I was the cause of said frown. It would be my goal to end that.

She let her hair fall around her face like a curtain, shielding herself from me. Mr. Banner explained the lab to me and said that Bella and I had a bit of a late start, but if we were able to finish first, we wouldn't have to do the gold and silver comparison essay. I could do the essay in my sleep, but I didn't want to make Bella do it. I turned to her and spoke.

"Bella, if you would like, we can finish this lab together. I wouldn't want you to have to do the essay." She turned herself to me and nodded. I began setting up the chemical components and set aside a beaker of diluted hydrochloric acid. After setting everything up, I placed the medal into the acid. A scent filled the air, but it was very faint. I was about to waft the fumes towards me, but before I could, Bella spoke. "It's silver." I looked back at her, astonished. How did she know?

Answering my unspoken question, she spoke again, "I can smell it from over here. The metallic smell is much more potent than with gold, but it's not as potent as iron." I wrote down the required equations and the solution. After clearing up the mess, I turned to Bella and prepared myself to speak, but was interrupted by Mr. Banner.

"You finished already? Let me check your work." He looked over it and then turned to me and then Bella. "How did you finish it so quickly?" This time, Bella spoke, "I can smell the difference when the medal was placed in the hydrochloric acid." Mr. Banner nodded and sighed before announcing to the class that Bella and I wouldn't have to do the essay. Everyone groaned and when I turned to Bella, she had that beautiful crimson blush upon cheeks. Was she embarrassed with attention? I wouldn't be surprised. She didn't seem like the kind of person who would flaunt herself for everyone to see and yet she had so much to actually flaunt. Again, she was abnormal in the most wonderful way.

"Bella…" Her head shot around to me. "I have to apologize for my behavior on Monday. That was unacceptable. I will understand if you never forgive me and you hate me, but I am being completely sincere." She seemed to be listening to my every word, searching for any hint of dishonesty. She wouldn't find it, because I meant every word I said.

She sighed and faced herself so it looked as if she was actually looking into my eyes. Her milky covered brown eyes felt as if they were piercing through me. It was a scary feeling, but I loved it. "I will forgive you, that is if you forgive me for what I did to your foot. I hope I didn't hurt you too badly." A light blush spread across her cheeks as I chuckled. I shook my head then answered, "Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault for acting like a bloody idiot to you. But if accepting your apology means you will accept mine, then I accept your apology. She smiled a small smile and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"But Bella, there is one thing I would like to ask you." She turned back to me and tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She was adorable. "What is it you would like to ask?" I was watching as her lips moved. They looked so soft and smooth. Quickly, I remembered what she asked and answered, "I know you probably don't trust me and I understand if you don't want to, but could you find it in your heart to allow me to be your friend?" Her eyes went wide, brows shot up in surprise. She really didn't expect that, I presume. Suddenly, her shocked face turned to one of confusion and then concentration.

"I don't know Edward. Your reputation precedes you and I don't want to be one of your so called "projects"." I could feel my face fall, but I knew that she was right. Suddenly, an idea came to mind.

"Wait, Bella please. Just consider this. If I can earn your trust, will you allow me to be your friend, please? I can prove to you my worth." She seemed to be mulling over the idea in her head. Finally, she answered, "Okay Edward, you've got a deal. But you've got to promise that hitting on me and the use of other girls for your pleasure has got to stop." My mind was going a million miles a minute. _She said yes, she said yes, she said yes, she said yes!! _

"Bella, thank you so much! You won't regret this!" Without thinking, I pulled her into a hug. As soon as my skin came into contact with hers, I felt a shock rush through me. She must have felt it too because she jumped slightly. "Sorry," I murmured. I was just ecstatic. The bell rang soon afterwards and Bella walked off to her gym class. On the way to study hall, I ran into Emmett and stopped him. I might as well apologize to him and tell him what was now going on.

"Emmett, wait up." He turned to me and there was a look of anger in his eyes. Yup, his grudge was still there. "What do you want Cullen? Coming to ask for my sister's phone number?" I shook my head quickly and explained, "Emmett, I swear, those days are over. I swore to Bella that I wouldn't treat her like Lauren or Jessica. In fact, I promised her I wouldn't treat any girl like that. I am not willing to break that swear." His look was disbelieving.

"Edward, ever since you moved here, you have been a player. How do I know that you are being serious? How do I know that you won't hurt Bella like you hurt every other girl you used?" I looked down, ashamed. "Emmett, you are just going to have to trust me and let time tell. I wouldn't ever hurt your sister. She's not every other girl. I have to earn her trust again." I finally looked up and he stared at me deeply. Finally, he sighed and nodded. "Emmett, would you forgive me for acting like an idiot if I buy you your favorite candy and rent your favorite, stupid Sci-fi flick?" His eyes opened up in astonishment and awe at the words.

"You mean you would actually buy the candy corn and rent _Shadow Ghost_?!" I nodded with a smile on my face while he patted my shoulder in his brotherly manner and grinned widely. "Okay man, you're forgiven. But if you hurt my sister, you are going down." He spoke seriously for that last part. I assured him and hurried off to class. This day was turning out so much better than I planned. And from this moment, I knew that I couldn't screw up again. I had to earn her trust.

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**See, you guys rock my socks so much that I have posted two chapters in one day!! All those reviews are going to my head though. Just kidding…Anyway, there really was a Sci-fi film called Shadow Ghost some time ago. I didn't watch it, but I know there was one out there. Whoa, I actually finished this chapter in about two hours!! **

**Remember, your reviews rock my fuzzy emo My Chemical Romance socks!! And they make me want to head bang in my new emo haircut, so review!! **


	9. Author's Note: Story Idea PLEASE READ!

A/N: What's up my marshmallow peeps

**A/N: What's up my marshmallow peeps?! Anyway, I know you hate these things, but I had to ask for opinions and also say a few things, so here it goes. **

**Give me time on this next chapter. I am in the process of typing it now, but I have a few challenges to overcome with it. For one, it has to do with all those words you awesome reviewers are giving me. I mean, some are really challenging. For example: Aden101 has given me the word "****Autodysomophobia**".

**You don't know what that is?? Well neither did I. **

**Anyway, a few other reviewers, including ****Blindwind****, Ericaisdazzled (as usual), Bearhug946 (by the way, your word is so weird and random. I LOVE IT), and Booknerd14, who not only gave me one word, but gave me the challenge of using the words ****pit-bulls****, ****lucky charms****, ****apple pie****, ****lavender licorice****, ****toothpaste****, and ****Bunicula ****in one sentence. **

**By the way, Booknerd14, you are absolutely crazy. YOU ROCK MY FUZZY RED WHITE AND BLUE INDEPENDENCE DAY SOCKS!! **

**So, words that I have to put into this story include: ****Autodysomophobia, Sugar rush, flinkle dink****(which I have to say, I didn't see coming), and all those others by Booknerd14, who I still think is crazy. **

**OK, Topic #2: I GOT ANOTHER IDEA FOR A STORY!! **

**I admit, it's not very original, but I wanted to take a different approach than most others. Have you ever read or listened to one of those Isabella Volturi stories? You know, the ones where Bella has been a part of the Volturi for basically her whole life and she accepts them and eagerly want to be part of them? Well guess what? That's not how my story is going to play out. **

**Let me write out a somewhat elaborate summary of said story idea that way you have some outlook on how I plan on having this story play out. **

_Summary: On her tenth birthday, Isabella Marie Swan, also known as Bella and her parents took a trip to Florence, Italy. There they met a strangely, inhumanly beautiful "women" known as Heidi, who stated that she was a tour-giver and she could take them to some of the most interesting tourist attractions. Bella automatically knew something was wrong, but her parents wouldn't listen. Heidi took them to a place known as Volturi. She, her parents, and an entire group of other tourists followed Heidi into a castle-like building. Inside, she saw many other inhumanly beautiful "people". One with a black cloak and paper like skin stepped out and said, "Welcome to Volturi". Then she heard the screams. The beautiful people were killing everyone. She heard her parents' screams next. She turned to see her mother's and fathers lifeless eyes. She was not in shock though; she understood what would happen next, though she didn't want it. Suddenly, a little girl about two years younger than her but still inhumanly beautiful looked at her with piercing, black eyes that had blood red irises. She smiled evilly at her, but soon that smile turned to a look of frustration. She appeared in front of Bella before she could blink and pierced her with her hateful gaze, but nothing happened. She screamed and immediately the other "man" who had welcomed them appeared next to her. When asked what was wrong, she answered, "My power has no effect on her." He immediately grabbed Bella's hand, which she tried to remove from his grasp, until she heard a sickening snap come from it. She didn't scream. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He smiled slightly and concentrated until the look on his face turned from one of confusion to awe. With that, he decided he would keep her. When she would turn eighteen, he would change her. Bella was told what they were, what she was to become. She hated every waking moment that she spent in that castle. She wanted nothing more that to die and be with her parents. When she is seventeen, she still blames herself for her parents' deaths. She still hates her captives and basically has a death wish. When the Cullens are supposed to come for a visit, she refuses to leave her room. She hates all of these creatures. They were the ones who had ruined her life and she wouldn't humor them with socializing. From that day, everything changed. _

**So, what do you think? I know, I'm being a bit cryptic, but I realized I was giving you a lot of details. I just need your opinions on what you think of that idea though. The ideas are just flowing and I want to type them out, but I also want to work on Blinding Lights without worrying if I can work on them both at the same time. And the Isabella Marie Swan Volturi story would be in mostly Bella's POV. Sometimes Edward's as well. **

**So just PM me or review this so that I can get your opinions. I will be posting the next chapter soon!! **

**TOODLES AND DON'T FORGET, YOU ALL ROCK MY FUZZY BLACK AND GREY STRIPED SOCKS!!**


	10. Chapter 8: Rain Dances and Sanity

**Behold!! Chapter 9 finally arrives!! Just curious, have you ever really just wanted to scream out, "BEHOLD!! I HAVE SHARPENED MY PENCIL!!" I have. I don't know why though, I just did. **

**You all have amazed me yet again with your awesome, ninja-like reviewing skills!! I mean, I have more than 130 reviews! You rock my freshly bleached white socks!! Yes, I hold a special place in my heart for the classic white tube sock. **

**And now for the notes to the reviewers who so kindly gave me words to implant into this chapter. **

**Note to Ericaisdazzled: Flinkle dink is in there, so in Your FACE!! My god, I'm really rocking these words –smiles smugly- gets slapped by reviewers -apologizes-**

**Note to Aden101: Autodysomophobia is in here as well!! I feel smarter, just so you all know. Words like these require me to look them up, so in the end, I learn something. See, knowledge is power!!**

**Note to Blindwind: Sugar rush is in here!! Yeah, this word was probably one of the easier ones to place, but thanks. You gave me a break. Trying to place all the other words wasn't so easy. **

**Note to Bearhug946: Tiddlywinks is in here, and again, you are so totally random…I STILL LOVE YOU!! **

**Note to Booknerd14: All your words, including the following: ****pit-bulls****, ****lucky charms****, ****apple pie****, ****lavender licorice****, ****toothpaste****, and ****Bunnicula**** are in there. **

**Note to Luv2write001: I used the Rejection Hotline number, which happens to be 206-494-0827 in Seattle. I also used supercalifragilisticexpialidocious**

**My God, where the hell do you readers get these crazy words from anyway!? I feel smarter every time I get a word I have never read before!! **

**Anyway here is the Disclaimer and Chapter 9!!**

**Laura says: I am sad.**

**Edward says: Why is that, Laura?**

**Laura says: -gasp- Edward, what are you doing here?! **

**Edward says: Well, Bella likes the way this story is playing out. She likes that she doesn't get dazzled by me as much as she normally would. So she sent me to thank you because Alice is forcing her into shopping for the wedding. You know, gift registry, deciding between blue or gold napkin rings, the works. **

**Laura says: Oh. Okay, send my thanks to Bella for me. She is rocking my socks in this story too with all her sarcasm and spunkiness!! **

**Edward says: Very well then. But why were you sad? **

**Laura says: -sigh- ****I don't own you guys or the Twilight series in general****. It's quite depressing. **

**Edward says: Well, think of it this way, you own this plot line. That's got to count for something. **

**Laura says: Aw thanks Edward. You always know what to say to make me feel better. **

**Edward says: Well, your thoughts aren't gross about me so far, so I think you are pretty nice as well. dazzles Laura**

**Laura says: …Sorry, what was that, again? Wait, Darn you Edward and your dazzling eyes!! **

**Edward says: -chuckles- Yes, I still got it!!**

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**Chapter 9: Rain Dances and Sanity **

**BVOP**

When I got home after school, my mind was jumping from one thing to another. _Does Edward really mean that he just wanted to be "friends"? Can I trust him? Is he going to be just like _him_? _

Quite honestly, I think I was going to get a migraine from all the questions. But there was one question that really got me: why would he change his ways just for me? I mean, it was nice and all, but why would I influence him that much? These thoughts filled my mind as I sat on my bed. A loud booming sound shook me out of my thoughts.

I listened intently until I heard it again. Thunder. Suddenly, there was another large clap of thunder and then the sound of pelting rain drops hitting the ground filled the air. A sudden urge came over me as I found myself standing up, grabbing my cane, and walking out of my room.

My feet carried me to the front door where I turned the knob and pulled it open, allowing the sweet, clean scent of rain to fill my nostrils. The thing about Forks' rain was that it wasn't as muggy as most other places. The air was cold yet fresh and full of new possibilities. And rain was just what I needed to help me sort out my thoughts.

I took a step out the door, the light mist of water spraying me as I got closer to the edge of the porch. Leaves were rustling along with the wind, creating a cacophony of sound that just melted in with the pelting bullets of water hitting the drive way. My cane in front of me, I felt my way off the patio and onto the soft grass. It was then that I felt like my body was working on its own.

My cane fell onto the soft grass when my hand subconsciously loosened its grip on it. My hands went above my head, fingers stretched apart and almost grasping at the unreachable sky. My breathing became slow and deep, almost as if I was sleeping, yet my heart was pumping fast and strong. My hair was now sticking to my face, as my clothes were sticking to my body. But nothing mattered. It was just me, the earth, and the rain. Having forgotten my shoes inside the house, my feet were now sinking into the softened soil beneath me. The soft grass tickled my ankles lightly.

Unconsciously, a smile had crept onto my face and my mouth opened, catching the cool water that was falling from the sky. Everything was forgotten; everything was gone except for me and this rain. Everything was perfect. I could feel that my eyes were closed, preventing water from falling into them, not that it mattered being that I couldn't see, but I felt as if I could imagine everything, every color, every detail that I hadn't seen in a whole year.

I remembered every detail of my new home. The white paint, slightly faded, but still there. The upstairs window, slightly dusty, yet it had a timeless feel that it feel like a portal to the outside world, which it kind of was. The landscape being entirely green, no warm brown to even out the mossy look of everything. The air was cold, but my skin felt like it was being pelted with icy hot water, cool to the touch, yet it warmed on my skin.

Out of nowhere, my mouth opened and I was singing in the rain. And out of all the songs that the world had to offer, it was a lame childhood song. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I don't know exactly why that song seemed to pop into my head, but it did, and I was singing it out loudly. I didn't care that I most likely had the worst voice ever and that plants were probably dying from hearing it, I just needed to do this. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore anyway. Why couldn't I just sing my heart out, not worrying about the opinions of others or the plants?

I felt and heard as the rain slowly stilled, the air taking in the calmness and leaving me to settle down from my rain-induced high. Never had I been able to do this before, especially not in Phoenix where it hardly ever rained unless it was hurricane season, and then, you never wanted to go outside. It wasn't until I heard heavy footsteps coming towards me that I realized Emmett had been home the entire time and had the ability to watch me through the attic window. The heat that was forming on my face was most assuredly causing me to turn crimson by now.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing out in the rain?! I saw you throwing your arms up and down like an idiot; it looked like you were doing a rain dance!" The laughter in his voice was evident, but I could tell that he was trying to hide it. I smiled sheepishly and spoke, "I was just thinking." My answer was completely honest. This so called "rain dancing" was my meditation. Though the answers to my questions weren't exactly answered, my mind was cleared so that I would be able to answer the questions, hopefully soon.

Emmett's voice pulled me out of my thoughts again. "Oh shi- I mean, oh flinkle dinks! I need to go to the store." Flinkle dinks? What the hell?

"Emmett, what's up with the whole "flinkle dink" thing?" I could almost see him smiling sheepishly at me. "Jasper bet that I couldn't not curse for a whole day **(A/N: I am aware of the double negative use; don't rub it in!)**. So he said he would give me a hundred bucks if I don't. The bet doesn't start till tomorrow, but I need to practice." I'm sure my face went from a look of confusion to understanding to a knowing smile. Emmett just couldn't look past a bet.

"Wait, why did you need to go to the store?" I was truly curious now. He wouldn't normally worry about stuff like forgetting to pick something up at the store.

"Oh well, I bet Jasper something too. But I need to the store to go buy some apple pie filling, lavender licorice, lucky charms cereal, toothpaste with baking soda, a dog harness, I think medium size, you know, like the size for pit-bulls, a stuffed bunny, and some material so I can make a cape for it so it can be dressed up as Bunnicula, the vampire bunny." I'm sure I gaped at him for about five minutes because when I finally opened my mouth to speak, I couldn't find the words. Why the hell would he need all that stuff for a bet?

"Emmett, what exactly are you making Jasper do?" He chuckled darkly at my question and wrapped the towel I didn't know he was holding around my shoulders, leading me into the house. Let's just say that Emmett probably would never tell me and Jasper would probably be too ashamed to actually say what he would have to do. **(A/N: That's all you're getting out of me. Just imagine the possibilities. I know, you hate me for leaving you hanging like that, but I had too. And because Emmett's mind is just way too complicated for even me to figure out.)**

After getting inside the house, I walked up the stairs to my room to shower and get changed into some warmer, less wet clothes. Though, the entire time, I was still questioning Emmett's sanity. My muscles automatically relaxed when the scorching hot water hit my back, the tenseness that had unconsciously taken over my body now gone. Fortunately, my mind was too busy trying to figure out what Jasper's bet was to actually dwell on my predicament with Edward. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Emmett, who was saying that he would be gone until late with Jasper for the bet. I still don't know what it is.

After dressing, I exited the steam filled bathroom only to hear the phone ring downstairs. After stumbling down the stairs without any major bodily injury, I grabbed the phone and answered breathlessly, "Hello?" I heard the tinkling little laugh of a certain little pixie. My breathing calmed while she began, "Well Bella, how are you on this fine day?"

"Umm, Alice, we saw each other at school a few hours ago. You were there; you know how my day went." I didn't see where she was going with her original question or why she was beating around the bush when she obviously wanted to just scream everything out over the phone; the eagerness in her voice was very much audible.

"Oh contraire, my dear best friend. I believe something else happened after lunch between you and my dear brother that you have yet to share with me." I had completely forgotten, which is saying something since the whole rain dancing began while I was contemplating what to do about said situation.

"Alice, can't you just ask Edward? I'm sure he is willing to tell you." What else could she want?

"Well Bella, he already told me, but I want to hear from your point of view." Ah, so that's what she wanted. Well, knowing Alice, she would weasel the truth out of me eventually. I was turning into a major push over with Alice around so much. "Okay, I'll tell you. He walked into class and apologized to me for his behavior at lunch on Monday. I apologized for crushing his foot with my cane. He then said he wanted to be my friend. When I told him that I wasn't sure and I didn't want to be one of his conquests, he said he would earn my trust if I would let him. So I agreed. If he can earn my trust, he and I can be friend. Only friends."

Alice was silent for a moment before letting out a sigh. "I have to say, I'm a bit shocked. Edward hasn't committed to something or _someone_ in a long time. He must really like you." I don't know why, but I blushed at that comment.

"Why would he like me, though? I'm just plain Jane Bella. I'm not much to look at." Downing on myself was something that was necessary for me; because it was all true. I wasn't special, smart, pretty, or even interesting.

From the other line, I heard Alice snort loudly. Then she spoke, "Bella, though you are blind, you don't see yourself clearly. I mean, before Rosalie knew that you were Emmett's sister, she was jealous that you were hanging on his arm. She really thought he was cheating on her with you. She even said that you were prettier than her, which I have to admit, is true." My mouth was agape. How could she say that? That was simply ludicrous. From all that I had heard of her, Rosalie was the epitome of beauty.

Shaking my head, I spoke, "Alice, that's just plain stupid. We all know that I'm not prettier than her. And I already know that you are beautiful. There's no need to try and make me feel better about how I look. It's not that it matters anyway. I can't see myself, therefore I don't care all that much." Alice was too nice. I appreciated that she felt the need to reassure me on my looks, but there was really nothing she could say. I wasn't pretty and that was all there was to it.

"Fine, whatever Bella. Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you that I'm going to be having a costume party next Friday!" She spoke excitedly. Alice's always optimistic nature was now probably increased tenfold by this party. Wait, why was she telling me?

"Okay, any particular reason why you are telling me this?" It's not like I could go. Well, I could, but the party atmosphere just wasn't for me. I'd never even gone to a school dance before, what made her think that I would go to a party?

"Well, first of all, everyone is invited. Second of all, you need to choose a costume." Yup, she was insane. "Alice, I'm not going. I'm sure it will be fun, but I'm just not a party girl. Sorry." There was a silence before she spoke again, "Bella you are going and you have no choice. Emmett and everyone will be there. And if you don't choose a costume, I'll choose it for you." The stern tone in her voice told me that she wasn't kidding, and I wasn't going to mess with her. "Fine Alice, I will go," she squealed on the other end, "but you can choose my costume anyway. I wouldn't know what to choose. What are you going to be anyway?"

Her tinkling laugh filled my ears again as she spoke, "Well, I think I'm going to be Tiddlywinks the fairy." Why was it that today everyone was using words like tiddlywinks or flinkle dinks? What was this world coming to? "Alice, is there even such a thing as Tiddlywinks the fairy?"

"Well, no, but I can't stand Tinkerbelle. She's all blonde and weird and I'm not. It's not a big deal though because I designed the costume so it would fit me perfectly and now I know exactly what costume to get for you!" Crap, oh god, she was going to give me a crazy one!

As if reading my mind, she reassured me, "Don't worry Bella. It's going to be good and you'll love it." After saying goodbye as quickly as possible, Alice hung up, probably to go work on my costume.

After the strange phone call with Alice, I headed back upstairs to bed. I checked the time only to find that it was only about nine o' clock at night. Bored and still fully awake, I decided to try and solve the questions that had been in my head, the ones that didn't involve Edward, that is. I know I should have been thinking over what Edward had said, but I didn't want to. He was a confusing subject and I knew that I would figure him out eventually; I just had to let the answers come naturally.

It was then that I opened up an internet window on my computer and looked up autodysomophobia. According to Mr. Varner, that's the phobia that he had and I had still had no idea why he told us. When I found out that it was the phobia of a bad smell, I laughed hard and loud. Figures he would tell his students; he thinks we smell. Varner was probably the weirdest teacher I had ever had.

While I was on, I check my email, though I had often avoided checking it. The emails didn't come as often anymore, but I still hated listening to them. The interesting thing about emails is that you can delete them without reading or listening to them, but I didn't. I listened to them because I knew I deserved every single one. Sure, some were harsh, but I had to pay for the consequences of my mistakes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found that I had only missed about five emails from Renee.

"_Bella, _

_Why haven't you called? Are you okay? Has anything happened to Emmett? Do you want to come back home?_

_Love, Renee_

Basically, all the emails played out the same way. The computer's monotone voice still cracked me up whenever it read her frantic letters. I laughed internally and emailed her back reassurances so she wouldn't worry and get on a plane to Forks right now. Knowing Renee, she would do that.

I heard the front door open, squeaking loudly on the hinges as someone walked in. I recognized the footsteps as Emmett's as he stomped up the stairs. He walked into my room and sat on my bed I presume, as the mattress coils squeaked underneath his weight. "Hey Bells, why aren't you asleep yet? I thought you always go to bed early?" I turned around so I could face him. Normal tendencies to look at someone as they spoke never left me. "I was just checking my email. What did you need?"

"Well, I needed to look up the Rejection Hotline number. Rosalie was looking for it on her phone but she couldn't find it, so I was hoping I could use your computer." What was up with people today and all the random things?! This was insane!

"Okay Emmett, why do you need the Rejection Hotline number? First you need to get all that crap for Jasper's bet and you won't even tell me what his bet is. Now you need to get the number? That doesn't make sense at all." He laughed boisterously and walked over to me. I felt his hand press down on my shoulder in a brotherly manner. "Bella, some things are better not spoken. If you find out, it won't be because we told you." He quickly opened up another window on the computer and found the number, which the computer read aloud: _206-494-0827_.

He left without another word while I screamed out, "Emmett! You're being extremely cryptic, you know that?!" His booming laughter filled the house as he made his way up into the attic, also known as his room. Soon afterwards, I felt as if I had just come down from a sugar rush. My body was moving around sluggishly as I made my way to my bed and allowed sleep to overcome me. My dreams were filled with questions as to why Edward would change his ways for me. My mind subconsciously wanted these answers solved and would do whatever it took, even invading my dreams, to answer them.

* * *

**Okay, I know this chapter was almost purely fluff and I didn't feel like it was my best but guess what? How else was I supposed to put all those words in there when they were totally random? It's nearly impossible! And insane!! So I did this chapter my own way! **

**But the rain thing actually did happen with me. I actually lived that and it was raining when I was typing this chapter, so I just HAD to put it in. **

**Just so you know, I don't know when I will be updating next. Tomorrow is my first day of orchestra camp and then as soon as that is over, I am going to the beach with my family. My cousins came down from Dallas to celebrate!! That's right, I am going to little South Padre Island, Texas. Yes, I will be fighting off the seagulls. **

**Anyway, since I'm not wearing socks right now, I will be head banging to your reviews. But that means you need to review. Click the little grayish colored button and review!! Please!? I mean, I swear, if you do, I will get down on my knees, my palms will be up in the air, and I will scream, "BEHOLD! REVIEWS!!" I swear, I will! **


	11. AN: IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ!

**A/N: Okay my wonderful Marshmallow peeps, I have some bad news. **

**Well, for those of you that participate in my little WORD CHALLENGE and give me words to implant into the story, I don't know if I can continue doing it. **

**Trust me when I say that I love it. Wait!! I just need to give Special Thanks for ERICAISDAZZLED for actually starting it. Without her, it wouldn't even exist. Which reminds me, I love NOBODY'S FOOL BY ERICAISDAZZLED!! Awesome story, you should check it out!!**

**Anyway, as I was saying, I love the Word Challenge, but it's getting to be overwhelming. I have more than 20 words on hold and then I was kind of hurt by something that one of the reviewers said, though I won't mention screen names. **

**I mean, if you think you are better than someone else, fine, just don't go rubbing it in their face, especially when you don't have proof. Even if you joke around when saying you are better, it hurts. **

**I'll try my best to keep it up, but don't be pressuring me too much. And try to stick to one word so that other people can give words. And keep it in the English language!! I mean, I don't need words in Swahili. Honestly, do you think the Twilight characters would actually speak in Swahili? I didn't think so. **

**Well, I was told do type a sentence out by a reviewer and it kind of hurt. If they were joking or not, I'm not sure, but still. It kind of bruised my already low self esteem. Anyway, again, I won't mention screen names, but please, if you want to say that you are a better writer, at least have evidence and reviews to back it up. Otherwise, just don't brag. **

**I mean, what most people don't know is that I am writing an actual book right now. I hope that one day it will be in stores, but if its not, oh well. So far, everyone that I have allowed to proofread it has said its excellent, but I don't go rubbing it in people's faces. That's just sick!**

**Anyway, to the reviewer is may have intentionally or unintentionally hurt my feelings, this is to you. I hope you understand that what you have said has hurt me quite a bit. I don't like revenge, but I am a very sarcastic person and I just had to do this. **

**You know who you are: "**YOU HAVE A MUCH MORE CREATIVE, AND STRANGER MIND THEN I DO AND I CAN NOT COMPETE WITH THIS LEVEL OF ORIGINALITY, I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR INCREDIBLE (IF UNCONVENTIONAL) RANDOMNESS. Thank you for gracing us with your presence."

**Yeah, I was told to type that out and admit to it. But guess what? I SAY THAT SENTENCE WITH ALL THE SARCASM THAT MY VOICE CAN HOLD BECAUSE i WAS REALLY HURT BY THAT!! **

**When I read that, I literally started crying. I hope it makes you happy that I actually typed it out because it made me sick! **

**But to end this A/N on a lighter note, I would like to say that since I feel better that I have spoken out my feelings, I will do my best to keep up the word challenge. **

**Signing Out, **

**-Laura a.k.a sovoyita**

**P.S. For those of you that have given me the utmost support on the word challenge and have encouraged me all the way through without being rude, I want to say that I really appreciate it. I mean, without you all, I would have quit already. **

**P.S.S. For those of you who have been just trying to get me to fail by giving me words that I will never even need to repeat again in my life, I can honestly say that I am sickened. I mean, I love the challenge and I love proving that I am able to defeat your words, but if you wanted me to fail, just say so. I won't fail though. I refuse to falter. That is one of the few things I've learned from AFJROTC. **


	12. Chapter 9: Bonding

**A/N: I'm SORRY!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE!! But now that I have finished screaming my head off, on to more important business. **

**Okay, so I have decided to continue the Word Challenge, but I have to put up some guidelines. So here they are:**

**-Words must be in the English or Spanish language. I say Spanish because it is the only other language actually mentioned in the Twilight series besides English (its mentioned by the humans anyway. I mean, Italian is also in the series, but yeah, I don't want to go into that). Plus, I'm Hispanic, therefore it makes things easier for me because I can ask my parents what the hell a word means. **

**-Stick with only 1 to 2 words. I want everyone who submits a word to get a chance. **

**-Words can be difficult or just absolutely strange and random. That's the point of the challenge: to challenge me with words that I've never heard of before. **

**Okay, that's it with the guidelines. I personally don't like them all that much, but it's necessary. **

**And to all of you who encouraged me and supported me when I was ranting on about something that we all have to deal with, thank you so much. I think I would have been an emotional wreck without all your support. **

**Now, for this chapter, I needed to keep things serious, so I won't be doing the Word Challenge for this one, but trust me, I plan to go all out next chapter. That means next chapter is going to be pretty interesting. But this chapter, we are gonna have some Bella & Edward action (don't think dirty). So, now that we have that settled, let me put up one of those silly disclaimers and then you all can read the much awaited Chapter 10!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; nor do I own Twilight socks, but I plan on stitching the word "Twilight" into some of my plain tube socks!! This reminds me, my new profile pic is of some new socks I got at Wal-Mart recently. I love them!!**

**Oh yeah, this chapter is going to go back and forth with Bella's and Edward's POV. This chapter is also kind of long, so yeah. You'll get why…**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Bonding **

**BVOP**

Sunday morning I was awoken by the sound of heavy breathing beside my face. I didn't open my eyes, but I turned over and pretended to be asleep, when in reality, I was stealthily reaching for my pillow. This intruder wouldn't get away that easily. They took a step closer towards my bed and I attacked. My pillow must have hit them right on the head because the next thing I heard was a loud thud as they hit the floor. Their deep groaning was enough to make me laugh.

"That's what you get for sneaking into my room, Emmett!" My laughter was escaping through my yells. Truly, did he think that he could sneak up on me? I was a fairly light sleeper; he's known that for years. The big teddy bear grunted and stood, probably a bit peeved that he didn't scare me. "Jeesh, Bells, where the hell did you get such an arm?" He sounded impressed, which was just like Emmett. Physical strength from the women in his life was always important to him. Though he would gladly stand up for me, he was proud that I could stand up for myself when I needed to. It was just his brotherly way.

"I learned from the best, Em." I knew that would soften him up. He chuckled and ruffled my hair playfully before leaving the room. When my bedroom door shut, I attempted to untangle myself from the mass of sheets on my bed only to land on the floor. My fall was heard from downstairs, to which Emmett laughed boisterously at. After finally untangling myself, I clumsily stood and walked towards the bathroom to have one of my human moments. Once I was down, I headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Sounds that were being given away from the activities taking place downstairs hinted to me who was here. From the sounds of things, Emmett and Rosalie were expressing their love for each other by making out while Jasper and Alice were both whispering quietly to each other. Both couples were in their own little worlds, simply reveling in each other's presence. But there was one other being inside the kitchen. His steady breathing was strangely calming. I descended down the remaining steps and leaned against the railing. Honestly, I didn't want to spoil the moment that these lovers were having. I myself was jealous they had found their soul-mates. To say that I had been in love before would be a lie. I had never loved and ever since the accident, I believed that love was impossible for me, which it probably was. The accident scarred me and left me blinded, in a literal as well as metaphorical sense.

* * *

**EVOP**

I watched as Bella leaned against the staircase railing, seeming lost in her own thoughts. Her brows furrowed, a small pout made its way across her face. If it hadn't been so sad, I would have said it was cute. I wondered what her eyes would behold had she not been blind. From the old family photographs that were sitting atop the shelf in the living area, I had gotten a wonderful view of what her eyes were like before the accident. The chocolate brown orbs she had possessed held a spark of life. The depth was hypnotizing, drawing you in and making it impossible for you to escape them.

Oh, how I longed to see her eyes that way again. I longed not only to see her eyes though; I longed to see the life that her face had once held. When I looked at her now, it looked as if the happiness her face once held was now gone along with her eyesight. My attention snapped back to the beautiful girl before me when she sighed. She didn't even seem conscious of her actions. The sadness that her facial expression held was enough to make me want to go up and wrap my arms around her and assure her that everything would be alright.

After less than a minute, her sad face was quickly composed and she pushed herself off the wall to stand straight. It was then that I noticed what she was wearing. Her pajamas, which seemed to consist of a simple pair of sweat pants and an old, baggy t-shirt, may have looked bad on anyone else, but they just made her look so much more natural. She didn't even have to try to make herself look beautiful. Her hair was slightly messy, but it just made me want to run my hands through it. I watched her lips part as she began to speak.

"Morning, guys. Not that I mind, but what are you all doing here?" Her head cocked to the side ever so slightly, making her look absolutely adorable when she was swept with confusion. Alice answered her question, "We're going SHOPPING!" I watched as a look of horror spread over her face.

"Wait! Why are we going shopping?!" As much as I hated seeing Bella so bothered, I couldn't help but think that shopping today would be very entertaining.

* * *

**BVOP**

After hearing the excited tone in Alice's voice, I freaked. "Because Bella, we need to get supplies for the costume party and I needed to get some material so I can finish up your costume. Anyway, I've seen the clothes you've worn so far, and I'm disappointed." Her tone didn't leave any holes open for me to object. I sighed and nodded dejectedly. She squealed loudly and I could hear the balls of her feet touching the ground as she bounced up and down.

Have I ever stated how much I loathe shopping? I believe I have, for more than one reason too. First of all, I didn't care about what I wore unless it was comfortable before I was blind and I don't care now. Going shopping has never been my forte and being blind just gave me more incentive to not go. Second of all, why bother trying to dress up when I have no reason to? It made no sense in my mind.

Glumly, I found my way back up the stairs and changed into the first outfit that I could put my hands on. After dressing, I grabbed my cane and made my way downstairs. As soon as I arrived, I found myself being pushed into Emmett's Jeep. Then we were speeding off to Port Angeles mall.

As soon as we arrived, I was dragged out of the Jeep, barely given enough time to grab my cane. I could hear the boys snickering behind me as Rosalie and Alice sighed impatiently for me to hurry up. Before I could even speak, they pushed me into a store. Being blind, I had no idea which store we were in, but I knew from the atmosphere and the smell of expensive perfume in the air that it was definitely not a store I would shop at.

"Alice, what are we doing here?" I could almost hear her rolling her eyes as she sifted through the racks and racks of clothing. Ignoring me, she stuffed several articles into my unsuspecting hands, making me almost topple over from the weight. Seeing me stagger, Alice laughed her tinkling laugh. She ushered me into what I assumed was a dressing room and told me to strip. I did so reluctantly and changed into one of the many outfits she had handed me.

The shirt was as soft as silk, which it probably was. The skirt was too short. I could feel the air hitting my mid thigh and I felt overly exposed. Embarrassed, I stuck my head out of the dressing room and spoke, "Sorry, Alice, but I'm not coming out. If I can feel air where I'm feeling it right now, then I have to object." I heard her sigh and come towards me. Her footsteps and Rosalie's, which I heard because of her heels, came closer to the point that they were right in front of me. I instinctively took a step back only to have them grab my arms roughly and pull me out of the dressing room. I staggered and caught myself before I fell. Once I had straightened myself out, I heard a gasp.

**EVOP (A/N: Sorry about all of the changes, but it just makes things easier for me to type out)**

I couldn't retain my gasp as hard as I tried. Alice had told me to make my opinion known on Bella's new wardrobe, which Alice was purchasing without Bella's knowledge. Therefore, here I was, in the dressing room of a store in which I didn't have the patience to check the name of. As soon as I stepped into the room, Alice and Rosalie were pulling Bella out of the dressing room. There she stood, wearing one of the most sinfully wonderful outfits that I had ever seen **(A/N: sinful doesn't mean slutty or sexy or whatever, it just means that its beautiful. Sheesh people, get your minds out of the gutter********). **

The top was pure white, and made her look angelic. The navy blue skirt, which I must say was short, made her legs look miles long and brought out the creaminess of her ivory skin. She was just way too beautiful for her own good. I could imagine the looks she would receive if she wore this to school. After realizing that I was still gawking at my new _friend_, I looked at her face and noticed the blush and grimace that her face held. The grimace was obviously from having to wear an outfit that she had on, while the blush was from me gasping at the sight of her.

"Alice, like I said, I'm not getting this. It's way too revealing and I probably look hideous in it. And being as you can't prove me wrong by making me see myself in the mirror, I am free to object." The anger was evident in her voice as she spoke to Alice. I rolled my eyes when I figured out what Alice was going to do next.

"Please Bella. I really want to get a gift for my new best friend." And there it was. The famous puppy dog pout that enabled Alice to get anything she wished; the same pout that took me years to learn how to resist and here Bella was, not even faltering.

"Ah ah ah, Alice. I now you're pouting, but guess what? I can't see, therefore, you have no effect on me." Bella nearly sang when she spoke. Her already musical voice became irresistible and I found myself nearly staggering forward to pull her into my embrace. I quickly stopped myself and noticed that Alice's gaze was hard and angry. She huffed and mumbled angrily to herself as Bella went back into the dressing room and came out in her normal clothes. I figured now was the perfect time to make my move at bonding with her.

I leaned over to Alice and whispered in her ear, "Alice, you can buy whatever you want for Bella. You know her size anyway. Just buy it for her like you were going to anyway." She nodded happily and began picking out various articles of clothing from the racks. I then walked over to Bella who was running her hands over a blouse that was on a rack. It was like she was seeing it through feeling. I almost got lost in another Bella-induced daze when her head turned to me.

"Yes, Edward?" The way my name rolled off her tongue was wonderful, but if I got distracted, we wouldn't be able to slip away from Alice.

"Bella, how would you like to get out of shopping?" I knew she would say yes to getting away from Alice, but if she would do it with me, I was not sure. A grin had slipped onto her face and she looked eager, until she seemed to think over things and frown.

I felt sadness and rejection wash over me. I knew that it was my own fault; I was the one who left a bad impression on her with my horrific ways, but I was hoping that she would find a place in her heart or life for me. "Look Bella, it's okay, you don't have t-" I was cut off when she held up her hand. Then she spoke, "No Edward, it's just that…well, you might get bored having to pull me around. I've never been here before and since I can't see, you'd have to show me around."

Normally I was good at reading people, but Bella always said something to catch me off guard. But the idea of her holding me back and keeping me from enjoying myself was ludicrous! Bella would never bore me, ever. "Bella, you won't bore me. Come on, before Alice sees." Her cane at her side, she followed my voice quickly. I grasped her arm and felt that same electrifying shock that I had felt in Biology class. We exited the store quickly, avoiding Alice as much as possible. "Thank you," Bella sighed exaggeratedly. We laughed in unison as I pulled her along to the food court.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. To be brutally honest, I just wanted to hear her talk again. It was just so musical, and yet somewhat deep; it was purely enchanting. "Actually, I'm just thirsty," she smiled sheepishly while a beautiful blush spread across her cheeks. For about the hundredth time today, I had found myself going into a daze. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and offered for to get her a smoothie. She nodded shyly and sat while I went and ordered one for her. While I ignored the "flirtatious" look that the cashier gave me, my thoughts were on Bella, as always.

There had to be some sort of way for her to let me in. Something about her seemed guarded; it was almost as if she was keeping a secret. **(A/N: I just kicked you all in the butt with some good, old-fashioned dramatic irony)** I wanted desperately for me to be the one that she opened up to. I wanted to be the one. When I picked up the order, I turned towards the table that Bella was seated. As soon as I saw that boy seated there grabbing her wrist and leaning towards her, whispering in her ear, I felt anger and jealousy run hot through my veins. It wasn't until I saw the frightened look on her face that realization rushed through me. I began to make my way to the table; no one would touch _my Bella_. **(A/N: I just love a possessive Edward!)**

* * *

**BVOP**

While Edward was away getting the smoothies, I dwelled over what he had said. He said I wouldn't bore him. I had always found myself as a plain, rather unexciting person, therefore when he had said that, he was obviously just said that to be polite. But the sincerity in his voice made it hard for me to not believe him.

The thought that he wanted to be my friend ate away at me. I had never been that close with anyone, friend-wise. After the accident, I just grew more secluded, but now I didn't know what to do. People actually wanted to be my friend.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of nearing footsteps. In the sounds of bustling coming from around the food court, I could tell that this person was not Edward. His footsteps were light and his strides were long. This person took short strides with heavy footsteps. Their presence weighed heavily as they finally reached the table I sat at and they sat down on the seat in front of me. I immediately stiffened from their presence. I didn't know them and I didn't feel like I should meet them.

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you and I get out of here?" His boyish tone sounded like it was supposed to be seductive, when in reality it just made me want to vomit. It was not deep enough for him to be an older man, but more around my age. Compared to Edward's smooth voice, his was raspy and cracking. I would have laughed had the situation not been this. I actually think I puked in my mouth a little.

Trying to keep my voice from giving away my fright and disgust, I spoke as quickly as possible. "Sorry, umm…my friend is just over there getting smoothies." Most of it came out in a stutter. His voice reminded me of just before the accident. It disgusted me to no end and I almost allowed my mind to wander back into my memories. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and I felt him lean forward, his breath feeling disgustingly warm against my ear. "I think you will enjoy having some fun with me." I tried to pull my wrist away, but his grasp was firm. If he held any tighter, I'm sure there would be bruises. My mind raced, wondering how I would get out of this. Where was Edward now?!

As if he had read my mind, I heard Edward's footsteps about ten feet away, the steps quicker than they normally were.

"Excuse me. You had better release her now before I make you release her." His voice was so sure and was full of venom. If I hadn't known he was trying to protect me, I would have been scared. The boy released me instantly and grumbled under his breathe. I heard his footsteps pound away as Edward quickly walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. The familiar shocks ran through my arms and surprisingly, I felt…comforted and safe.

"Bella, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" His voice was frantic yet laced with a bit of anger as he spoke into my hair. I think I heard him inhale deeply, but I couldn't be sure. I hugged him back tightly and spoke, "Yeah, he just freaked me out a bit. I'll be fine." I'm sure Edward was looking at me quizzically now, but he let it go and released me from his arms with reluctance. Once released from his arms, I lost a bit of that comforting feeling that I had when he held me.

The truth was that that encounter reminded me so much of before the accident. _He _had spoken to me that way before the accident. I had tried so hard to get away…

I was cut off of my thoughts by Edward. "Are you okay, Bella? You look like you were somewhere else for a sec?" I plastered on one of my well-practiced false smiles and spoke, "Yeah, I just zoned out for a minute." He didn't push it.

"So Bella…I don't know…do you…maybe…wanttoplaytwentyquestionswithmesoIcangettoknowyou?" **(A/N: I also love a nervous Edward!!)** He spoke so quickly that I could not understand what he said. My guess is that he understood the look of confusion on my face because he corrected himself. "I meant, would you mind playing twenty questions with me so I can get to know you better?"

Understanding washed over me and I replied, "Sure." I could hear the smile in his voice as he began.

"Favorite color?"

"Hmmm…I can't answer that directly. It changes day to day."

"Well, what is it today?"

I thought for a moment. "I would have to say brown."

"Why brown?" He sounded genuinely confused.

"Well, brown is warm and comforting. For me, at most, I can see bright colors out in the sunlight, but I can never see brown. Most of the time, I just see black."

He seemed to think for a moment; his gaze was on me, making me almost squirm underneath it. "You're right. Brown is very warm."

"Okay, my turn," I said, thinking for a moment, hoping my question wasn't too personal. "Why are you or were you a player?" My voice was gentle. I really didn't want to anger him or make him feel like I was prying. Curiosity was just becoming very overwhelming for me.

"Oh. Well," he paused for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts, "it's complicated."

"I have time; I think I can understand." He sighed, tiredly.

"You don't have to tell me if it's too personal. I will understand if you can't." I had plenty of secrets from him. It's understandable that he would have his own. Pushing him to talk would only put a strain on our barely existent friendship.

"No, it's okay. Just, not yet. Maybe I will tell you later though; in a more…private place." I nodded in agreement and could almost feel the tension in the air ease. "Okay then, you go ahead and ask."

He was silent in thought for a few moments before asking, "Favorite kind of book."

"That's a pretty vague range. Well, I would have to say I like the impossible romances. The tragedies that in reality, aren't as tragic as they seem. They hold deeper meanings that meet the eye if you look deep enough. For example, Romeo and Juliet. Juliet would die for Romeo and vice versa."

"That's quite an assessment. But why don't you see Romeo and Juliet as a tragedy? I mean, they both die in the end. They both have their flaws and they don't spend the rest of their lives together."

"But see, that's just the thing. One cannot exist while the other doesn't. Therefore, in the end, they spend eternity together in the after life; that is, if you believe in the after life. So, if you think about it, it's not much of a tragedy after all." When I finished speaking, I felt his breathe much closer to my face than before. Becoming more aware of my own body, I felt that I was leaning forward and he was probably doing the same, hence his sweet breathe fanning my face. I leaned back slowly, steadily putting a bit more space between us. His chair creaked beneath him, signaling that he too had noticed our previous position.

The game continued, going from easier questions like favorite movies to more difficult questions such as our lives from before we moved to Forks. We were so caught up in learning more about each other that we didn't realize that two hours had passed and Alice was making her way over towards us, fuming.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!?"

* * *

**EVOP**

With Alice being my adoptive sister of more than ten years, I knew that she was eccentric. Yet, even after hearing her high-pitched scream regularly in the past, I could never get used to that. I immediately covered my ears, as did Bella and hoped that it would end soon. I prayed for the sake of my ear drums and everyone else's in the food court, that it would end soon.

As she and Rosalie walked up, with Emmett and Jasper faithfully carrying their numerous bags behind them, with scowls on their faces. This was a moment that a calm disposition was needed to deal with their upcoming rant on how we ruined a perfectly good shopping day.

And here it comes. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! I WAS WORRIED SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU ALL!!" Alice yelled, anger pouring out of her every word. Bella flinched visibly and I figured it was time to stop this.

"Alice, I told you we were going. Did you think about calling my phone?" Truth was, I put my phone on silence. Ah, the power of technology.

"Hell yes, I did. Don't you think that that would be the first thing I did?!" Her voice was calmer now, but still laced with anger.

"Well Alice, my phone hasn't rung at all. In fact, I have no missed calls from you or anybody else in the group." Yes, I had the nerve to delete all my missed calls from her and return my phone to vibrate. So what if I just stretched the truth a little bit?

"Oh. Well, I…okay, never mind. Forget it." She said calmly, all traces of anger gone. She turned to Bella, "Bella, we got your costume stuff. And a few other items…" Bella already looked nervous and annoyed at the same time. It was extremely adorable. I took this as a cue for us to get going.

"Come on. It's getting late. We need to drop Bella off. It is a school night, unfortunately." With that, everyone walked out to the Jeep and we drove home. After dropping us off and saying our goodbyes, Emmett and Bella left.

I ran up to my room and sat on my black leather couch, thinking over what happened today. My mind immediately went back to Bella. She intrigued me to no end. Her views on music, literature, everything about her, were just magnificent. Never could never get bored of her, nor would I want to. She unconsciously held me captive and for the first time in two years, I felt like the pressure on my chest was removed. I could breathe freely and not have another worry in the world all because of Bella.

My thoughts were interrupted by Alice dancing into my room, without permission, mind you. "Well, doesn't someone seem positively pleasant this evening?" She spoke smugly, almost as if she knew something she wasn't supposed to. I decided to play dumb again.

"Why, whatever do you mean Alice?" She sighed loudly, exasperated. "You like her. It's not that hard to see. I mean, she had that same stupid smile that you do right now." I hadn't realized that I was grinning like a maniac until she pointed it out. I couldn't help but be excited when she said Bella had the same look.

"Really? She did? Did she say anything about me?" I said in a rush, hoping that Alice would give me some clue as to what Bella thought of me.

"Well, well, well, isn't someone eager to find out if their crush likes them back? Well, since you asked so nicely, I would have to say yes. She likes you back; but Edward, if you dare hurt her, I swear to God I'll hurt you! I know you probably think I'm being stupid, but I have that feeling. Like there is something that she's hiding. She won't talk about certain things and when certain things are brought up, she just shuts down. It's not noticeable, but she'll put up a wall and it's starting to worry me. Just don't hurt her, okay?" My sister, so caring. She could find out that a complete stranger was hurting and she would feel their pain.

"Never. I would never intentionally hurt Bella, Alice." I spoke with as much sincerity as I possibly could because every word I spoke was true. The truth of the matter was that I was falling and hard. I could never hurt Bella for I would suffer just as well.

Alice nodded and left the room with a good night. I dressed for bed and got under the covers, breathing as deeply as I could in order to get to sleep. My dreams were filled with the mysterious and intriguing blind girl that was surely stealing my heart.

* * *

**So, what do you think?? I know. You probably hate me for taking so long to update and I'm not making excuses. Minor writer's block should not keep me from writing. Feel free to release your inner ninja monkey on me. I deserve it. **

**Anyway, I would like to recommend a story. UPTOWN GIRL BY VIXEN WITH A VENDETTA rocks my socks!! I'm serious. It's well written, its unique, and the characters are very much in character. So read it or I'll spill biohazard waste on your computers!! **

**Toodles,**

**-Laura**

**P.S. My little sis is my reference for when I say that I will do stuff like get down on my knees and scream to the heavens, "BEHOLD! REVIEWS!!" Her screenname is BXE Forever. I actually did that like 3 times. Once even when I was at the beach house. So yeah. Woo!! If you review, I will eternally love you and will not release my inner Rosalie upon you all!!  
**


	13. AN: Hurricane Dolly Strikes!

**A/N: Bad news people!! At the moment, I am at the mercy of Hurricane Dolly's wrath. She took out the power of more than 200,000 people's houses, therefore, I am stuck. I am borrowing my cousin's laptop to quickly check my email but I have a line of people behind me waiting to check theirs. So right now, I am just saying to hang on until I can update. I still have no electricity or internet service. My cousin just happens to have the things that I don't. Surprisingly, as soon as the storm hit, I found a bunch load of socks that I have never worn before, so I have tons of clean socks. Weird…**

**Anyway, after I get electricity, I will try my best to update, but I have to do housework. My neighbor's fence broke my fence, therefore, dealing with insurance is key. And my miniature Shetland pony is at risk of escaping again, so I have to fix his pen. So my life is full of crud right now. And ticks are invading my house. The field behind our house is flooded, so I have to kill all moving things in sight. **

**So, that's my life right now. A life full of humidity, ticks, sweat, and escaping miniature ponies. What else could possibly go wrong? -its a hypothetical question-**

**I'll update as soon as possible. And my Myspace is at /laurabejaran**

**Add me as a friend and I'll get back to you. Lord knows I need more friends anyway. **

**Toodles, **

**-Laura a.k.a sovoyita**

**P.S. My hometown of Harlingen, Texas actually was the town with the third highest amount of people WITHOUT electricity. So give it time. **


	14. Chapter 10: The Party

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer, the Twilight saga would not be over right now. This just proves that I don't own anything. :)**

BPOV

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, NO!" It was the Friday of the party and I was in the Cullen household, being tortured by none other than the pixie herself.

How could she have me dressed up as _this_? I couldn't see what my costume looked like, but I could definitely feel it and with the mental picture she gave me, I didn't like it.

"But Bella! It looks amazing on you. That costume is probably the best one I made! Even Rosalie is totally jealous! But it fits you better so I thought you would like it. And I don't think you would have like the other costumes." By the way she rushed through her little "reassurance" speech, I would have had to say that she was nervous as hell.

"Alice, I have no doubt that the costume is beautiful, but seriously, did you have to dress me up as a _bride_?" Dressing up wasn't what got to me. It was the fact that she had dressed me up as something that I had learned to fear. A bride. Brides themselves aren't scary. It's what they represent. They represent the beginning of a new life, a ceremony that links a man and woman together for what is supposed to be a lifetime. Marriage. Ew. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about marriage had my parents, particularly Renee, not implanted the idea that early marriage or marriages in general, were horrible. Or maybe I would still feel that way. Charlie and Renee's marriage hadn't lasted more than a couple years and even then, they only stayed together for me. It was a sad truth, but the truth nonetheless.

"Oh Bella, you're not just any bride. You're a replica of Tim Burton's corpse bride! What do you think of that?" She said, obviously a bit smug that her brilliancy had shone through when it came to costume ideas. I slowed my breathing and prepared my voice to stay as calm as possible.

"I think that me, being a corpse, symbolizes death and the wedding dress symbolizes marriage. With those two symbols put together into one costume, I would have to infer that it means that marriages die. That's what I think of my costume." She released a frustrated growl and stomped her feet. I would have laughed at the situation had I not been the cause of her anger. I didn't mean to offend her but marriage wasn't one of my favorite topics of discussion. "Fine, Bella! But you will wear this costume whether you like it or not. I will not have you dressed in your normal clothes just because you don't like my costume." Her tone was angry and frustrated, but I could catch the hint of sadness stirring within her words. It felt as if my legs had moved on their own, trying to find their way to her using the sound of her steady breathing. When I reached her, I pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I love the costume; it's just that…marriage is a touchy subject for me." I could almost hear her mouth pulling into a grin as she pulled away and began jumping up and down, still holding my hands in hers. "Yes! Okay, well, hold on. I'm going to do your make up. We can leave your hair the way it is. We'll just need to give you your veil when we finish up with your face."

Luckily for me, Alice didn't need to do much with my makeup. My skin already being pale, she didn't need to use as much white stage makeup. Well, according to her it was white. After that, she supposedly lined my eyes with a dark purple shadow to give me the look of the dead. Just what I had wanted to look like, a corpse.

Unfortunately, the week before the party passed quickly. I had tried my best to imagine timing passing slowly, hoping desperately that somehow it would truly slow down and give me more time before I had to face Alice's wrath. But one good thing had come out of the week. Edward had proved to be one of the best friends I could have ever had. He was kind and sweet, compared to that first day of school. He was, by far, my best friend. We could talk for hours, which we often did, without getting bored of each other. The most random conversations could take place and we could continue them for days. We would even occasionally make little insider's jokes, confusing the others while we laughed our heads off.

I had even considered telling him about my appointments with Carlisle. "Considered" was the key word. To be totally honest, I was embarrassed to say that I was getting help for my mental state. Life had used to be so easy before. Before I was blind, I never needed help, physically or emotionally. Taking care of others and myself is what I had done for my entire life and now, having others try and take care of me was unnerving. Life before the blindness, before the accident, before...James. I felt tears well up again as I tried to push the thoughts asides. Then I remembered what had taken place at the beginning of the week; Monday to be exact. Edward's newfound friendship had affected his player ways. The player seemed to be no more, seeing as he spent most of his time with me. Needless to say, many of his old projects didn't exactly like me all too much at the moment and were doing anything they could to make Edward see "reason".

Flashback

_It was Monday and my appointment with Carlisle had been scheduled for four o'clock in the afternoon. Turns out that Emmett had football practice, therefore he wouldn't be able to give me a ride to the Cullen and Hale household without their knowledge. That being said, Charlie offered me a ride. They knew how I felt about the appointments and didn't say anything more on the subject of me keeping it secret. _

_Lunch had been...interesting. Edward, who I had been conversing with all weekend, decided to sit with us at lunch. It was hilarious, seeing him act shy when he asked for permission to sit with us. But in the end, he had relaxed enough to be himself and laugh along with Emmett's ridiculous jokes. _

"_Oh my octopods, she's coming!" Why Emmett decided to say octopods over anything else would forever remain a mystery to me. I'm sure everyone was staring at him in confusion, that is, until we heard that heavily falling clicks of high heels coming towards our table. Then I heard the annoying popping of gum and the strong, sickly-sweet scent of cherry perfume. The same perfume that Lauren Mallory was so famous for wearing. _

"_Oh Eddie, why are you like, sitting over here?" I could have laughed at her improper use of the word "like". Of course she was one of those girls. The head hyenas always were. The audible growls coming from Alice and Rosalie were ignored as Lauren shifted from foot to foot impatiently as she waited for Edward to answer her or at least leave the table with her. Emmett cracked his knuckles in anger while Jasper remained as calm as can be. _

"_My name is Edward, Lauren. Not Eddie; E-D-W-A-R-D. And I want to sit here." The gum-popping got louder as Lauren leaned towards Edward to speak closer to his ear; she might have even been trying to give him a free show of what was in her shirt. _

"_Edward, I don't think it's, like, safe for you to be sitting here. Hasn't little _Bella_," she sneered my name like it caused a bad taste in her mouth, "here told you about what she is going to do today after school?" Immediately, I froze. She couldn't know, could she? I felt Edward lean forward in his seat, whispering in my ear. "What is she talking about Bella?" Lauren's high-pitched laugh was maniacal; evil. "Oh, so she, like, didn't tell you. Well, then I guess I, like, will. She has an appointment with your dad, for her __**mental health**__. That's right; little Ms. Blind-n-Perfect isn't so perfect." Her laughter continued as I felt my lunch slowly make it's way up my throat, causing tears to burn behind my eyes, but I wouldn't allow them to fall. I had held them off for more than a year; I could keep them back now. _

_What I didn't expect to hear was Jasper's normally soothing voice sounding more like a menacing calm. "Lauren, I am only going to say this once. If you don't leave now, I won't hesitate to stop restraining Alice from attacking you." Listening more closely, I could practically hear Alice grinding her teeth together in the struggle to escape Jasper's grasp. Lauren huffed angrily, though I could tell she was intimidated by Jasper's voice, and stomped away, her heels clacking against the linoleum floor. _

_The tense atmosphere slowly calmed down, probably due to the fact that Alice and Rosalie had started taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. I could feel everyone's stare on me, questioning why I had kept everything secret. They would hate me for not telling them. I may not have lied, but I sure as hell didn't tell them the truth. _

"_Bella...," Edward whispered, seeming hesitant. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. I guess I was just….I don't know what I was feeling. I'm just sorry I didn't tell you." A lump had formed in my throat, causing my words to come out in a hoarse whisper. Suddenly, nearly everyone at the table stood. I assumed they were leaving, going to go find someone who was more worthy of their presence. But then I was engulfed in the arms of all my friends. The tiny arms of Alice were right around my waste while Rosalie's long, slender arms were around my shoulders. Jasper's arms were around Alice and I while Emmett's large, muscular arms were surrounding us all. _

"_Bella, what the hell is wrong with you? Did you honestly think we would care that much about you going to a psychiatrist?" Alice's voice was a bit frustrated, but otherwise, reassuring. I nodded, my eyes facing the floor as my face started burning. "Bella, we don't care. Just because you go see Carlisle doesn't mean that you are crazy. We know that. Besides, you are family; we stick together no matter what." Jasper's words hit me hard. I was considered __**family**__. _

"_Hey Eddie, what the heck are you doing over there? There's plenty of room for one more." Emmett's voice boomed and I was suddenly aware that Edward was now standing outside our group, not involved in the group hug. His long strides were quiet as he made his way to us and he quickly closed the gap between us. His arms wrapped around me and his hand brushed against my arm. An unfamiliar yet pleasant shock shot through me like electricity. The skin that had just made contact was on fire. A blush made it's way across my face again. _

_I'm sure our group looked crazy, all huddled together in a hug that wasn't breaking apart. When the bell rang, we walked away to our classes. Edward walked with me, being that we had the same class. _

"_Bella, we were serious when we said that you are family now; no matter what." I smiled at the thought. _

_End of Flashback_

That afternoon, my appointment with Carlisle had gone the same as the first. He answered my questions about himself and vice versa. He carefully avoided anything that had to do with the accident or my blindness, something very different from the doctors that I had had before.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a certain little pixie with a low-tolerance to caffeine. "Bella, the party has started. I want you to make an entrance. Rosalie is going first, then me, then you, okay?" I think she was jumping up and down again. She just _had _to drink a Dr. Pepper right before the party started because according to her, the party would being going on all night.

I nodded, knowing that I wouldn't get out of making a grand entrance for this party. And luckily, Alice had allowed me to wear flats instead of the original death traps she had bought me, saying that it would allow me to walk around more. Just as I was about to walk out the door, a small hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Bella, you're the best friend I could ever have. I know I sometimes come out as too hyper or preppy, but you still stick around. You promise to be there forever?" I smiled. Alice had done the same thing for me. I knew how boring I could get. She was the best friend I could ever ask for, too. "I promise Alice. I'll be here forever." Her kindergarten logic seemed to have this nice effect on me. My childhood had been spent taking care of Renee, so I never actually got the chance to do anything with kids my own age. But when I came here, my childhood was kind of being given to me. I held out my pinkie. Alice linked hers with mine and we laughed together at our childish ways.

As we made it to the stairs, I breathed deeply as I concentrated on the walk I was just about to make. Not falling would be the main object of my entrance. I heard the whistle as Rosalie walked down the stairs in a manner that I am sure was graceful. Next, Alice's dance like steps made their way down the stairs. There was another round of whistles. I took one last deep breath and grabbed the railing. I stepped down each step slowly, using my cane to guide me down each step, just anticipating a fall at any moment. There were twenty steps the last time I counted. I heard a collective gasp throughout the room. A blush covered my face as I realized that I must look awful. When I reached the last step, the music in the room returned to its high volume and the party had begun. A hand clasped around my wrist, long fingers gently brushing against my skin, causing it to feel that same electricity again.

"You look beautiful," Edward murmured in my ear. I looked down, blushing yet again. I mumbled thanks and asked what everyone was dressed up as. He chuckled lightly and spoke. "Rosalie and Emmett are dressed up as pirates. Jasper is Link from Legend of Zelda. Alice thought he would look cute in that costume. Though he did admit that he enjoyed carrying around a sword and shield. He said it reminded him of the Civil War…though I don't know why. They were so gun-friendly back then." I think he was shaking his head. "And I'm dressed as a…." He mumbled something unintelligible. "What are you dressed up as?" He groaned and said, "A vampire." I laughed lightly. That just seemed _so_ Edward.

"What's wrong with vampires? I actually like vampires; a bit more than werewolves, actually." I smiled kindly at him, hoping he could see the truth in my statement. I had actually always loved vampires. There was something mysterious and overall attractive about them that just seemed so amazing. They were like superheroes, in their own way, of course.

The smile in his voice was evident when he spoke. "Is that so? Hmmm, well, maybe being a vampire isn't so bad after all." I blushed again and walked with him out into the crowd of people. The sounds of people moving against each other were getting louder as I walked through the crowd. Edward's hand was on my shoulder, sending light shocks through it. I did my best to ignore the feeling. We made it to what I assumed was a less crowded part of the house and began to talk.

"So, Bella, why don't we continue our game? We each still have five questions each." I nodded and he started off. "Okay, you don't have to answer if this is too personal," I nodded my head and gestured with my hand for him to continue, "but how long exactly have you been blind?" I froze immediately. He must have noticed because he quickly tried to reassure me. "Bella, it's fine. You don't have to tell me. It's fine." The fact that this subject had bothered me for so long was too much. What happened had happened and there was nothing I could do about it. I would have to get over it.

"No, it's fine. I've been blind for a little over a year." It took everything in me to keep myself from tearing up. My throat closed up a bit, making me feel like I was about to start hyperventilating. Fortunately, the white makeup I was wearing was probably keeping me from looking green in the face. When Edward didn't speak, I started to fidget a bit.

"Bella, have you seriously been blind for _only _a year?" His voice was cautious. What was up with him? "Yeah…it's been a year since the…." I stopped myself from continuing. I couldn't continue. He must have been contemplating what to say next because he took a few minutes to reply. "That's not what I had assumed. It feels like you've been blind for years. You already read in Braille, you seem experienced when it comes to finding your way around. I guess I just assumed that you were much more experienced because of the amount of time you have been blind." I understood what he meant. Most people couldn't learn Braille in a matter of months. Most people took years to learn how to find their way around with only their four senses.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of us. It seemed like he was taking in this information slowly, allowing his mind to wrap around it. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I needed to just get a moment to clear my head. His question had brought back memories that I didn't want to remember. My cane stayed safely in front of me, preventing me from running into the costumed dancers. I found my way to the kitchen, hoping to find a less crowded hallway. The upstairs had been blocked off so that no one could get into the rooms and do some unmentionable things, but I knew how to get through. I found my way up the stairs, looking for the closest bathroom. When I finally found it, I stepped inside. Just as I was about to close the door, something blocked it.

"Hello, Bella." The voice was slurred and so familiar. "Mike, is that you?" Before he answered, the door was pushed open all the way, sending me almost flying back into the glass door of the shower. The door was slammed shut again and the lock clicked on the door. "Mike?" Heavy footsteps made their way towards me, going slowly, like a predator hunting his prey.

I felt his breath on my face as he placed his hands on either side of my face, keeping me from moving. It smelled of heavy liquor and made me want to gag. "Bella, I know you want me as much as I want you." His head was leaned forward, causing his breath to spread across my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Suddenly, his mouth was on my neck, kissing and licking sloppily. I placed my hands in his hair, pulling hard in hopes to get him off of me. He just moaned loudly and continued with his business. "Mike, you're drunk. Get off now or I'll scream!" He didn't stop. This all seemed so familiar. The same drunken breath, the same strength, pushing me into a wall. Then I remembered where this déjà vu had come from. The night of the accident….

Instead of stopping, he just tried attacking my mouth with his. I turned my face away quickly. He growled angrily and his fist made it's way to my stomach. I groaned in pain, feeling the air from my lungs whoosh out of me instantly. I fell to the floor, clutching my stomach with my arms. I tried to scream, but I couldn't. His hands went around my neck, pushing my head onto the floor. I felt my mind feel dizzy, making it impossible for me to think clearly.

_Why couldn't anyone hear me? Why wasn't anyone coming? _And then I realized why. There was an extremely loud party going on downstairs from where Mike had followed me. I hadn't suffered enough after James got hurt, so now I was being punished. Great. Well, now justice was being served. I was getting my just dessert.

I felt my mind suddenly go blank. There was nothing. I had lost consciousness.

EPOV

Bella had gone to the bathroom and I was still contemplating what she had said. She had only been blind one year? It didn't make sense to me. Ever since I had met her, I had done my research. It took some people years just to learn how to live their everyday lives without their sight and here Bella was, living her life completely in less than a year. She amazed me in every single way.

When ten minutes had passed and Bella still hadn't come back, I went looking for her. Assuming she had gone to the upstairs bathroom where she wouldn't be bothered, I ran up the stairs and headed straight for the closest bathroom. Inside, I heard muffled groans and the sound of broken glass crunching on the marble floor. I knocked, but there was no answer. Thinking that maybe Bella had hurt herself, I gripped the doorknob. The door was unlocked when I turned the knob. Inside, there was something that I never wanted to see.

Mike was on top of Bella's body, his mouth connected to her neck where he was kissing her. At first, my vision filled with green jealousy; that is, until I saw that Bella was making no move to return these acts of lust. Her body was still, a large, visible cut on her head, and was being held down by Mike. Immediately, red replaced the green and I rushed towards him. I pulled him off her, pinning him again the hard wall and punched him in the jaw. My hand automatically began to throb, but I didn't care. I kept punching him until I heard a groan from the floor.

Bella was trying to lift her head, wincing as she felt the pain slowly engulf her. I kneeled beside her and pushed her gently back to the floor. "Shh, Bella, don't move. Just hold on." She passed out before I could say anymore. Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open to reveal Emmett.

"Edward-What the hell is going on here?!" I quickly explained to Emmett what had happened and he immediately grabbed Mike and prepared to give him a beating. I had to intervene. "Emmett! Stop, okay! We need to take care of Bella. Go tell Alice to get the First Aid Kit. She knows where it is." He quickly ran off to her while I put pressure on the cut on her head with a towel from the rack. It wasn't deep so it wouldn't need stitches. I did need to be bandaged though. Alice ran in a few seconds later, her eyes in shock from what she saw. She immediately ran over and threw the kit to me, grabbing Bella's hand.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!" Alice had no reason to be sorry. She hadn't done anything wrong. Only _Mike _was to blame for this. Bella still hadn't moved yet, making Alice worry even more. "Bella, you said you'd be here forever…" Alice murmured quietly, silent tears streaming down her face as she looked at Bella. Alice never cried, whether she was extremely happy or extremely angry, she never cried. This was the first time I had actually seen tears from her.

I quickly began bandaging her head, being careful to make sure that all glass was removed from her wounds. A glass container from the bathroom counter had fallen and she had landed in it, getting clear little shards of glass stuck in the back of her neck. After bandaging that, I checked her over for anything else. Her wrist looked bruised as well as her neck. My teeth gritted together in anger. Mike would pay.

Having lifted Bella off the floor, I quickly took her to my own room. I wanted to watch over her, which I could do so much better in my own room. Alice followed along, trying to clean up the tears that had trailed down her face and on to her costume. Bella's own costume now had blotches of blood on it, but was otherwise unharmed. She truly did look beautiful in it, even in this state. The black, flowered veil in her hair was still on, keeping her hair in place even though she had just been attacked. Her dress flowed down her body, slightly rising up her thigh when I carried her to the room. Still beautiful. She looked so much like Sleeping Beauty; lying peacefully on the bed.

It was all my fault that she had come up here, that she had gotten attacked by Mike. I had made her uncomfortable and hurt her feelings. Now she was hurt and it was my fault. I buried my head in my hands, trying to find a way to make up for my horrible mistake. What felt like hours later, soft groans came from Bella's not-so-lifeless form. Her hand slowly lifted up and fell back down on her head gently. She winced when her hand came in contact with her newly bandaged cut.

I stood and placed an arm on her shoulder, keeping her from moving anymore. The shock that had been going through my entire being every time I touched her came back. "Edward?" she whispered quietly. A thrill went through me when she recognized my touch, but it was short lived due to the visible flinch that shook her body. "Sh, Bella. You're alright. No one is going to hurt you now." Guilt clouded my mind, making me lower my head in shame. A small, slender hand grasped mine, pulling me forward slightly. I looked down to see Bella attempting to sit up, her eyes open, revealing her milky-white veiled eyes. I quickly placed my hand on the small of her back, lifting her carefully so her back rested against the headboard.

She mumbled a thank you and "looked" up at me. That was the thing about Bella. Though she couldn't see you, she would look at you directly when talking to you. "Edward, I'm so sorry! Did you get hurt?" I looked at her, astounded and a bit angry. How dare she be worried about me when she was just attacked!

"Bella, be worried about yourself before you worry about me! I should be asking whether you are okay. When I saw you on that bathroom floor…." I tried to shake away the images of her limp body on the floor, so helpless and fragile. I looked into her eyes to see that they were tearing up, but never did the tears come.

"I'm fine. I just didn't think Mike would do that. Oh no, did Emmett kill him?! He was drunk. He had no idea what he was doing and Emmett could get in huge trouble!" My fists clenched angrily at the mention of Mike, and my teeth ground against each other at the thought of her defending him. "Bella, how could you defend him when he just did that to you?! Are you insane, blind?" I instantly regretted bringing up her condition. Her eyes shut tight and her small hands clenched into tight fists. After shaking her head and relaxing herself, she spoke.

"Technically, I am blind. And just because Mike did that doesn't mean that he should be killed for it. Nobody deserves that…" She trailed off and seemed to be lost in thought. Something seemed off. I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. I had hurt her enough.

"Bella, you are staying here tonight, okay. I want you to rest. Alice will bring you some clothes if you'd like." She nodded and leaned her head back on the headboard. Her eyes closed and she relaxed visibly. I walked back to the couch and sat down, watching Bella. She must have fallen asleep in the time that I was watching her because a few moments later, her head rolled to the side. I stood and laid her down gently on the bed so she wouldn't hurt her neck. Her hand grasped my shirt as her face scrunched, her brows furrowing. She looked to be in pain. I tried to release myself from her grasp, but she only held on tighter. Quietly, so quiet that I didn't think I had heard her correctly, she mumbled something.

"Edward, don't leave. Please." Her saying my name in her sleep was amazing. The feeling that flowed through me was overwhelming, not allowing me to move backwards. Instead, I slid into the bed with Bella, leaving about a foot of space in between us. As soon as I laid down, she snuggled closer to me, her head on my chest. Her warmth was wonderful. I held her back just as tightly and allowed sleep to overwhelm me.

* * *

**Okay, so obviously, you all have probably been wondering when and if I died. And if I died, you were wondering where my grave was so you could go and dance on it and curse me for all eternity for not telling you how the story ends. Well, I didn't die and if I did, I would want to be cremated. So you would have to spit in my ashes to actually curse me. Oh well. **

**And I am eternally sorry that I didn't update sooner. My only excuse is laziness and horrible writer's block. **

**I must tell you all that updating will get better because school started on Monday and I finally got my T.A (Technology Academy) laptop back. So that means that I have more computer time at school. Plus, all my classes this semester are really easy. Yes, I do love my English class! Mr. Ingram rocks my plain white tube socks!! **

**And last but not least, I would like to thank Aden101 for the word octopods!! I will be continuing the word challenge. This chapter was just way too important to be fooling around. Now, the next couple chapters are going to be intense. Bella's accident will soon be revealed, though I'm surprised you all haven't figured it out yet. I've done my research, so it is totally possible. Oh, and Edward and Tanya's relationship shall be revealed as well...soon. **

**This will be taking place soon people. Be patient. And now, please review. I swear, if you review, I will be overjoyed. And I already posted _Isabella Marie Swan Volturi _for those of you who haven't read it. Please read it. I will be updating on that one soon as well. **

Oh and I just recently started a Myspace Bulletin story. It's called Plot Penguin vs. Brain Seal. It's an interesting battle between two arctic animals that somehow made their way into my mind. If you would like to read it, become my friend on Myspace. I finally was able to make it a public profile. Link is on my profile page.


	15. Chapter 11: Past Revealed

**A/N: OK my marshmallow peeps!! I have finally updated. You have the right to stalk me and barbeque me much like you would barbeque Barney in that little song. But I think my writing is getting better. I am honestly not sure, though. Do you know what could help with that?? You REVIEWING!! Please review. Rock on my peeps!! (By the way, I really don't like marshmallow peeps. But I do like marshmallows and I do love my reviewing and non reviewing peeps.) Oh yeah, Bella ALWAYS has her cane with her. I've decided that a folding cane is better for her, so yeah. Just accept it. I don't feel like repeating the line, "I unfolded my cane and placed it before me." That's just stupid. **

**Disclaimer: If I haven't owned Twilight for the first chapters, what makes you think I own it now? Exactly. **

**EPOV**

What felt like minutes after I had fallen asleep, I woke again a rocking sensation beside me. Groggily rubbing my eyes, trying to rid them of sleep, I looked over to my side. There was the angel from my dreams. Her long mahogany covered hair fell lightly around her face, creating a halo around her. Her ivory skin was lit by the moonlight that was coming in through my large, east-facing window. It gave it a heavenly glow that made her look even more angelic. Her movement had obviously knocked the comforter that had covered her off the bed, displaying her long, cream-colored legs to me. I should have felt guilty about taking advantage of this beautiful girl in my bed, but I couldn't find it in myself to look away. But when I was finally able to pull my eyes away from her delicate curves, I saw the torment that had formed on her face.

A grimace had formed on her face, her eyes clenched tightly. Her fingers were gripping her arms tightly, nails sticking into her skin. Her expression was one of pure agony, and I wanted nothing more than to take the pain away. I would gladly suffer through it for her. My fingers automatically made their way to her face without my consent and gently brushed from her jaw to her temple. The tingling sensation hadn't gone away. She seemed to relax under my caress, looking slightly less tensed. My eyes went from hers to her lips. They were slightly parted and full. Oh how I wanted to feel them on my own.

I pulled my hand away from her face and rolled over so I lied comfortably on my side, still getting a great view of her perfect, heart-shaped face. Her face tensed again and she murmured quietly. If I hadn't been right next to her, I never would have heard. "James…." Jealousy raged through me like wildfire. I'm sure my already green eyes were turning darker from what I felt. Who was this James and what did he mean to Bella? Just as I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, Bella spoke again in quiet tones. "James…I'm sorry….so sorry…" To say I was confused would be an understatement. Not only did I have no clue as to who this James character was, but now Bella was saying she was sorry.

Jealousy was still coursing through me, but overshadowing it was guilt. What right did I have over her? Of all the things that Bella had ever said to me, none of them ever led to anything more than the mind-blowing friendship that she had given me and I was more than happy to take that. But I wanted more. The selfish part of me wanted nothing more than to make Bella mine, to hold her and never let her go. The more logical side of me said that I couldn't have her. She was too innocent, too pure to take. I wasn't worthy of her. After dwelling in the pain of realization for a few moments, I tried to relax myself. Bella said herself when we first became friends that we wouldn't be more than that. And I would accept that. I wouldn't push her into anything. As I relaxed my unconsciously tensed muscles, the sleeping angel beside me snuggled closer to my chest, burying her head in it and wrapping her arms around my waist. My heart rate probably shot through the roof from the joy I felt when she held me. That is, until I remembered the revelation I had just had about our relationship.

As I wrapped my around her, I placed a small kiss in her hair. I was, however, unable to keep the tear from falling from my eyes as I held her close, knowing that this was as close as I would ever get.

--

**BPOV**

I could feel a faint hint of heat on me, warming me. Faintly, I could see a bright orange red color shining through my now opened eyes. Why was the sun shining so brightly in my room? I may have not been able to see it, but I knew for a fact that my window was nowhere near that big. The clothes I was wearing was beginning to itch; it felt like nylon rubbing against my skin. Slowly, memories from the night before began flooding back into my mind, nearly knocking me back from there intensity. The party, Mike, Edward, his room, his bed. I gasped, shock hitting me like a tidal wave. I nearly shot up from the warm, satin sheets around me when I felt an arm tighten around my waist, pulling me tightly to the person it was attached to.

The familiar shock that had run through me was back, warming the skin that was exposed on my arm. It tingled, making me almost sigh. But I remembered that I was not alone and "looked" over towards Edward. The heat from his body emanated from him, drawing me closer, but I knew that there was no way for me to possibly do such a thing. He was Edward, the best friend that I had always wanted. And since when had there ever been a chance that he could be mine? Never. I wasn't worthy of him. I wasn't worthy of anyone. I was nowhere near beautiful and from what I heard, Edward was everything a girl could imagine.

He stirred beside me, yawning quietly. His quiet voice flowing musically through the air. "Good morning, beautiful." A blush crossed my face as I hid behind my hair. The sleep obviously hadn't left him seeing as he was obviously delusional. He chuckled and slowly, almost reluctantly, pulled his hands away from me. Immediately, the tingling disappeared and I mourned the loss. "Sorry, I didn't mean to use you as a pillow." I could tell he was grinning behind his teasing words. I smiled back, forgetting the loss of his touch.

I stretched my arms above my head, ready to get up and change out of the horrid bride costume I was still sporting. I wasn't wearing the flats that I had been at the party, meaning that either they fell off when I was…attacked or that Edward had removed them himself. My feet found the soft, carpeted floor that was be warmed by the sunlight as well. What a rare occurrence this was! The sun hardly ever shone so brightly in Forks. I smiled, instantly happier due to the beautiful day that was sure to grace us.

"Well, someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning." A warm hand was held lightly on my shoulder, stopping the bouncing that I hadn't known I had been doing. I was beginning to think that too much time with Alice had caused this. "Bella, what has you so excited?" A blush and smile spreading across my face, I turned towards him and spoke. "It's sunny today. Good weather, which if you haven't noticed, doesn't happen very often."

EPOV **(A/N: Sorry about the POV changes, but it IS necessary)**

Her voice was like a siren's, pulling me closer to my doom. The only bad thing about getting closer was that I wouldn't be able to get as close as I wanted. If I went farther, I would have never been able to restrain myself from telling her my feelings. But when I had woken up to see her smiling and blushing with my arms wrapped around her waist, it was nearly my undoing. Ravishing her lush lips with kisses wouldn't have been difficult in that position, though I'm sure she would have protested. She was still abnormally calm for a person that had been attacked by that vile Newton the previous night.

After speaking of the way the sun was spreading an unusual warmth, one in which paled in comparison to Bella's, through my room, I knew exactly what I could do today. Bella and I may not have been friends long, but we were by far best friends. And she was my world now, my life and existence. I would show her the one place I had shown no other.

"Bella, how about we spend the day outdoors? Let me just ask Alice what she thinks about the weather." Bella nodded, still smiling happily. But when I turned around, I felt the air tense. I turned to see Bella facing towards the floor, as if an internal struggle was taking place right before my eyes. Mere seconds later, her face was completely composed, a blank canvas. There was something she wasn't telling me, and of that I was sure. I had learned nearly everything about her, but something was hidden. And all of it evolved around one point: her eyes, covered in that milky film that shielded her mind from me. Her emotions, her thoughts, everything, was hidden behind those eyes. And I wanted nothing more than to peer into her mind. To know her better than anyone else ever could.

Right as I was about to open my door, it swung open, revealing an overly-active Alice who looked like she had just consumed an extra-large caffeinated beverage and about a pound of sugar. The only difference between Alice consuming that and a normal person consuming it is that the normal person would crash after about two hours. Alice wouldn't crash…ever.

"Hey Edward, Bella." She had a mischievous glint in her eye and a sly smirk when she saw Bella and me. I looked down at my clothes and saw exactly what she was talking about. They were crumpled, my pants hanging lower than they should, and my hair probably looked like I had just ran my hands through it a couple dozen times. When I looked at Bella, I saw she was in the same state as I was. I had been distracted looking at her face earlier to see that her hair looked like a haystack, though I admit that it was a very good look on her. Her long, mahogany tresses looked as if she had just had…well, you know.

Her dress was falling a little lower, her cleavage showing a bit more than the modest clothing that she would normally wear allowed. After forcing myself to look away, I saw that Alice was watching me with a satisfied smirk on her face. "It's going to be a sunny day today, no clouds or rain until tomorrow. But if you want to spend the day outside, I get to take Bella for a couple hours to get her ready." Bella groaned loudly from beside me, startling me slightly. Her movements were so quiet, I hardly ever noticed them. I wondered if that this was so because of her disability.

I grinned widely and nodded for Alice to proceed. If I was going to be out with Bella all day, I would have to prepare. Alice walked over to Bella, grabbing her arm and bracing herself for a fight. Bella tugged away and looked truly frightened. Then again, I would be frightened as well if I was to face the evil pixie mastermind that was Alice. Bella faced me, her eyes wide and a visible pout on her face. "Edward….please don't let her take me away." Her voice quivered lightly, but it looked like she was fighting a smile. I shook my head and shooed Alice and Bella away. As soon as they were gone, I began running.

**BPOV (Again, sorry, but it IS necessary)**

"Alice, is this really necessary?" Being given a makeover wouldn't have been so bad had Alice not been doing it. She tended to go overboard with the slightest things. And this was one of them. Whatever make up she had applied yesterday was probably smudged all over Edward's pillows, much to my embarrassment. And now it was taking much painful scrubbing to remove the remnants of it.

"Bella, hold still. If you don't let me take it off, you're going to get acne." I sighed impatiently and mumbled something about how it felt like she was scrubbing my face with wire gauze. Her tinkling laugh filled the room as she skipped around, her tiny feet hitting the plush carpet. "Hey Alice, where is Edward taking me today?" She didn't speak for a few moments, but then sighed.

"I actually don't know. He hasn't told me and from the sound of it, I doubt he has ever told anyone. It seems he trusts you with something that he has never entrusted in someone else." The mischievous tone in her voice gave her away. I knew what she was insinuating, but this was enough. "Alice, stop it. Edward doesn't like me that way. You know that," my voice broke slightly, sadness overwhelming me. "He never will like me anyway. I'm not good enough for him; we all know that." And with that, Alice smacked me, hard, across the top of the head.

"Ow! Alice, what the hell?!" She growled loudly before replying. "You know what the hell. To say he doesn't like you is just plain stupid. In fact, you're being stupid. How can he not like you? Everyone likes you!" Now I was angry. I stood, surprising myself by not tripping, and spun around to face Alice's direction. "Alice, I swear by all that is good in this world, if you continue saying that, you will have to deal with the very angry, very dangerous blind girl who just happens to have a folding cane that hurts like hell." After that, she stopped, but her anger was evident when she pulled a brush through my hair, nearly pulling it out by the root. When she finally finished, she surprised me by pulling me into a hug.

"Bella, whoever told you that were anything other than beautiful is blind, no pun intended. If you don't start "seeing" yourself clearly, then you'll live your life believing it." When she pulled away, I felt the tears that had spilled on the sleeve of my shirt. Tears were bubbling to the surface, but I refused to cry. I wouldn't allow myself to. I didn't deserve it. With a sad smile on my face, I left the room and carefully walked downstairs. I heard a quiet shuffling going from left to right and back again in front of me, but I didn't question it. I just waited at the foot of the stairs.

Quiet breathing filled the air and an arm hooked around mine. "You look beautiful, Bella." A blush covered my face, whether it be from the false compliment or the fact that it was _that _velvety voice that said it. I mumbled a 'thank you' and Edward pulled me along.

--

The drive had taken maybe about thirty minutes with Edward's intense speeding, much like Alice's. But wherever we were, it was shaded and outdoors. I couldn't see the blurred colors around me and the ground was covered with leafy grass that tickled my ankles. The trunk of the car was opened and shut quietly and footsteps grew nearer. "Bella, I would normally allow you to walk, but seeing as it could be somewhat dangerous, I think it would be easier to carry you." With that, Edward grabbed my arms and swung me onto his back. An annoyingly high-pitched scream came from my mouth and I began protesting. "Edward, really, you don't have to. I can use my cane; I'm too heavy for you to carry."

"Nonsense, Bella. Besides, I think my backpack weighs more than you. Anyway, if I carry you, we'll get there faster." And so the walk began. Leaves and branches would occasionally scratch us as we walked through the brush that I assumed was there. Rays of light would sometimes permit me to see one of the many shades of green that resided in Forks. After half an hour, Edward was still perfectly fine, not even breaking a sweat. His walk slowed and he came to a stop. Gently, he placed me on the ground and steadied me before I fell. He turned me towards wherever we were and pushed me forward lightly. I took a few steps before everything changed.

The sunlight was so much brighter wherever we were. I could see several different colors. The obvious green from the grass and trees, but a few other colors such as red and purples that lay on the ground. But what surprised me more were the things that my other senses picked up. The trickling sound of water signaled that there was a small brook not far away from us. Many floral scents wafted through the air, causing me to inhale deeply. The warmth of the sun on my skin was relaxing. But I was alone. I turned back from where I came from and gestured with my arms for Edward to come forward. The light allowed me to see a faint outline, but that was all. But even a blurred image told me the thing that I had thought all along: he was beautiful.

"Are you hungry?" His smooth, honey-like voice calmed me as my stomach grumbled, answering for me. He chuckled before setting something on the ground and pulling me to sit. "Well ma'am, today we have several dishes. We have turkey and Swiss cheese sandwiches with tomato, Caesar salad with Italian dressing, pomegranate and raspberry lemonade and for dessert...pudding cups." I laughed, "Pudding cups?" He scoffed.

"What's wrong with pudding cups? I happen to like them." Still laughing, I replied, "There's nothing wrong with them. It just kind of came out of nowhere, that's all." After laughing about the menu choice, we began. If Edward had made all the food, then I could see that whoever he chose has his partner in the future would be lucky. Everything was perfect, including the lemonade, which he had made himself without the use of artificial flavorings. When we finally got to the pudding cups, which happened to be chocolate, things got messy. I had "accidentally" flicked him with pudding, when he decided to flick me back. In the end, we both had pudding on our clothes and faces. But things got tense when he did something that was unexpected.

We had laughed after our pudding fight and I was grabbing napkins when Edward stopped me. He took the paper from my hand and carefully wiped it across my skin. His fingers lightly grazed my cheek, causing goose bumps to appear on my arms. But I didn't stop him. I'm sure my breathing was getting harder, but I didn't care. It felt as if all my nerves were focused in on wherever his fingers touched. Finally, when there was only my lips that hadn't been wiped clean, his finger ran along it, wiping the pudding that was there.

**EPOV**

**(Okay guys, things are getting dramafied here –no, dramafied is not a word. Oh yeah, I admit, it's a bit steamy as well, but not by much. I rated this story T for a reason)**

My forefinger was now covered in the pudding that I removed from my lips. I brought it to my mouth and licked it clean. It was funny that originally, vanilla pudding had been my favorite, but now that I had met Bella, everything had changed. Somehow, the pudding was sweeter. I very nearly moaned at the taste. My heart had pounded louder than ever when I was cleaning Bella off. She made the most sensual expression when my fingers brushed across her skin. Her body was tensed, but she didn't object to it. Could she have the same feelings? No, but I was going to take whatever I could get. I was about to apologize, but she spoke before I got the chance; and of course, she surprised me with her question.

"Edward…what do you look like?" I chuckled, still slightly nervous about how she would have reacted towards my ungentlemanly behavior. "Uh, where do I begin?" Her eyebrows furrowed slightly before she answered. "Well, how about with the top of your head?" I laughed as she blushed and laughed along.

"Well, if you can imagine it, my hair is the color of a penny. Kind of…I don't really know how to describe it." She sighed and lifted her hand. "May I?" I was confused until I saw what she was doing. "I don't mind." Her hand made its way to my hair, gently patting the top of my head. And then her fingers combed through my hair. It sent shocks through my scalp all the way down to my toes. The slight tugging was pleasant and so much more.

Her hand slowed a bit before she pulled away a bit. A groan escaped my throat and I quickly thought up a reason for her to continue. "Bella, I can't adequately describe myself to you. Why don't you "see" for yourself?" With that, I took her hand and glided it towards my face. As soon as our skin made contact, her tensed posture relaxed a bit. Her fingers crossed the expanse of my forehead, her face taking a concentrated look as she tried to memorize my features. Her hand trailed down between my eyes, tracing the shape of my nose and cheekbones. "What color are your eyes?" She didn't stop, her hand was then following along the line of my eyebrows.

"Green," I breathed quietly. She nodded her head and allowed her hand to trail down to my jaw, her hand cupping it gently as she shaped it. Her effect she was having on me was unreal, but I didn't want it to end. If anything, I wanted more. "The color of your skin?"

"It's the same as yours; maybe a bit lighter." She sighed before slowly putting her hand down. I fought back my growl of annoyance at the loss and sighed.

"Thank you, Edward. You know, for letting me "see" you." I chuckled breathily. "It was my pleasure, Bella. But there is something I do want to talk to you about." I don't know why I needed her to know, but somehow, I knew it was time to tell her. Something had bothered me ever since we became friends. She closed herself off from me, blocking herself. But I wanted her to trust me, and in order for me to have her trust, I would have to tell her the truth about my past. And whether I liked it or not, Tanya was part of my past.

"What did you want to talk about?" Her forehead was furrowed, confusion etched across her face.

"I wanted to tell you why I am, no, _was _such an ass before. Why I treated girls or people in general the way I did." She sighed quietly and motioned with her hand for me to continue. Taking a deep breath, I spoke. "Now, just to make myself clear, what happened before doesn't excuse my behavior to anyone, especially you! I'm completely ashamed of my actions and I don't even know why you even forgav-," I knew I was babbling, but that didn't stop me. I needed her to know how sorry I was, but before I could continue, her hand covered my mouth. A strange scent, like a mix of freesia and vanilla, soothed my senses and helped Bella's hand stop my incessant babble. "Edward, there was nothing to forgive. You already said sorry anyway, so there's no point in you repeating an apology. Just tell me what you would like to say." I nodded to myself and started off again.

"When you asked me last week why I was a player, I had a reason why I didn't tell you. I was…afraid that you would hate me even more than you already did." She opened her mouth to object but I quickly shushed her and continued. "But I know now that for some unknown reason, you have allowed a friendship to brew between us. And for that, I am eternally grateful. But there are things that I haven't told you about yet, and I know that I can trust that you. I haven't told anybody outside of my family, and even then, I didn't exactly tell them. They sort of just found out by themselves." Taking one last deep breath, I started. "Before we moved from Alaska, I was dating a girl named Tanya Denali." Bella visibly stiffened, her hand clenching around her wrist tight. "I thought I loved her; so much so that I really thought that I was going to begin a new life with her. I was naïve and stupid to believe that." I shook my head in anger and annoyance with myself. "I was so _stupid_! We had been dating for about a year when one day I went to her house. I was going to surprise her with a promise ring; a promise that we would be together for the long haul. I remember everything so clearly from that day; it's like a video continuously playing in my head. I had knocked on the door, carrying a bouquet of flowers. I had made reservations at the lodge. It was the closest thing they had to an upscale restaurant. We were going to spend the weekend there, not that we would do anything. I told her that I wanted to wait until marriage." I was speaking slowly, trying to rid the painful memories from my mind.

"When she didn't answer, I just walked in. My family was friends with hers, so I saw no problem with it. I guess I am glad I did. She was on the couch with my _best friend_, Laurent. They were…well, they were doing _it_. She didn't even realize I was there until I slammed the door when I left. She came running outside in nothing but the afghan that was on the couch. And I just left. I didn't even say anything. I couldn't say anything. That night, I got rid of everything that reminded me of her; her number, her email address, the ring I was going to give her. Everything, I just burned it all. Jasper had to pull me away from the fire that night. Alice knew what had happened; she always seems to know that kind of stuff." My eyes were still down. It felt like I hadn't even been looking at anything the entire time I had been speaking. Bella's breathing was quiet, so I continued.

"Tanya never even apologized. She just walked up to me the next day and pretended like nothing happened. And so when Carlisle said that he was offered a position in Washington, where they were in dire need for a good doctor, I automatically told him that it he needed to take the job. He knew why I was pushing him to go, but he didn't say anything. No one did. We just upped and left. When we got here, I was hit on a lot. People were acting like small children that were attracted to a shiny object. I was one of those shiny objects. But I had to get Tanya out of my head, so I just went with it. From there, things progressed and I acted like a complete and total jerk. I don't know how my family lived with me. I am unworthy of their kindness." I heard a quiet sniffle from next to me, but before I could look up, I was pulling tackled to the ground.

Bella had her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to calm her down. Though I had no idea why she was crying, her pain was my pain. "Bella? Bella, you need to calm down. What's wrong?" She sniffled once more before hastily wiping the nonexistent tears from her face. I could have sworn I had heard her crying, but there was no trace of tears on her face, nor puffy or red eyes. Her eyes looked like they had watered, but no tears had poured out.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'm sorry for being rude when we met. I'm sorry…just so sorry." I shushed her again. "Bella, it wasn't your fault. And I'm fine now. It's the past and now its over. I'm just glad that now I have a friend like you to talk to." _Yet I still wanted so much more. _I scolded myself for thinking that way, but couldn't take the thought from my mind. She was everything I wanted and more and anybody would be stupid not to want her.

After a few hours of lighter conversation, we left. On the drive home, she fell asleep, her hair hanging limply in front of her face. I pushed it back behind her ear and caught her mumbling in her sleep. "Edward…" The feeling of pure elation that spread through me was powerful. When I finally dropped her off at home with Emmett, all I could think was that maybe, just maybe, some of my feelings were returned.

**And so this chapter ends. I hoped you all enjoyed it. Edward's past finally gets revealed. Did I do okay? **

**I know it's kind of late, but whatever. And for those of you who don't know, I finally put up my site. It's **** www**** (dot) sovoyita (dot) webs (dot) com. It has a whole bunch of stuff but its still in editing, so more shall be up soon. But I do have a forum up. The discussion at this moment is on why so many of the Twilight fandom dislike Bella. Sign on to the forum and give your opinion.  
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**Just realize that there is a whole bunch more to come. Oh, and if you haven't read it yet, I posted a one-shot called ****There's a Reason These Tables Are Numbered****. Please read and review it!! Oh and please review this chapter as well.**

**_Toodles,_**

**_-sovoyita!!_**


	16. Chapter 12: Fallen

**Things I own:**

**-a copy of Twilight  
**

**-the Edward Scissorhands DVD**

**-And a site that I want you all to visit (http: / / www (dot) sovoyita (dot) webs (dot) com. **

BPOV

The day in the meadow with Edward had been nothing less than wonderful. And after he told me about his past, I nearly burst into tears. Nearly. As much as I wanted to, I knew that if I had began to cry, I wouldn't have been able to stop. I had never had my heart truly broken before because my heart had never belonged to anyone. Burdening Edward with my troubles wasn't the way the answer to my problems.

To me, Edward's past was much more painful than I had ever imagined. I never would have suspected it. What kind of person would give up Edward, the kindest, most caring guy I had every known? And he thought I would hate him? Heck, I couldn't hate him if I tried.

When we had headed back home, I must have fallen asleep, because the dream held fantasies that only my mind could create. It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience, watching my dream from afar. There was a tall, dark silhouette of a man before me, strong yet lean. I couldn't see his exact features, but I could see his eyes. They were a vibrant green, like the color of grass. They pierced into me, yet they were gentle. And there was a girl. I could see her clearly; her long brown hair fell down her shoulders, her petite form with her ivory skin and closed eyes on a heart shaped face. The man beckoned her forward and she glided towards him. The pair looked beautiful together, yet there was something out of place. Her eyes were still closed. His hand caressed her cheek and slowly, her eyes fluttered open. They were a clear chocolate brown and she stared at the figure with a look of pure admiration. "Edward," she murmured quietly. And just as he leaned in to kiss her, I woke.

Emmett was carrying me upstairs, trying to be gentle, but obviously having a bit of trouble balancing me in the narrow stairway. I continued to pretend to be asleep and waited for him to place me in my bed. When he did, he kissed my forehead tenderly before whispering a quiet good night and leaving the room. The moment my door closed, I bolted in bed and started pacing the length of my room.

The boy in the dream was obviously Edward, of that I was sure…but who was the girl? She couldn't have been me, no definitely not. The couple looked perfect together, like pieces of a puzzle. But that didn't explain why she looked so much like me, though much more beautiful. It didn't make sense. One, I knew what Edward looked like in general. The feel of his perfect facial structure beneath my hand was enough to make me weak in the knees. His jaw line was squared, his cheek bones taking on a sharp curve, his skin perfectly smooth. Everything was perfect. So why would he like me? When I "saw" him in the sunlight, I could just barely see a hint of gold on what I assumed was the top of his head. I was glad that I could see at least some part of him, but I desperately wished for just a peak at his eyes.

An exasperated groan escaped my throat while I kicked the thing nearest to me. Whatever I kicked, I hurt my big toe in the process, forcing me to stop and put pressure on it to stop the throbbing. Great, just great. Obviously, trying to solve a problem like this wasn't the answer. I lied back in bed, not even bothering to change into my old sweats and holey night shirt. Despite all the questions that were flying through my head at that very moment, I knew three things that were very clear.

One, for some unknown reason, Edward found my company enjoyable at the least. Two, he trusted me with something that he had never entrusted anyone with before. And three…I think I was falling for him.

--

(A/N: Sorry guys, it's going to take a hell of a lot to make her give up her heart that quickly, but don't worry. The moment's coming.)

I hate Mondays. They always seemed to just drone on and on, the wonderful elation of the weekend finally wearing off, making me feel like I was suffering from the crash after an intense sugar rush. My head pounded as I took down notes for Biology. I didn't need to, but it was better than doing nothing. Edward was concerned about me, but I told him not to worry. The migraine wasn't going to go away no matter what he did, so why worry him?

Classes had been easy, but the teachers must have been in a bad mood due to the thunderstorms that had been showering the town all day. After many pop quizzes and one teacher who decided that they needed to call me out in the middle of class to embarrass me, I was allowed to go home. Emmett, noting my bad mood, drove me straight to the Cullen household without trying to carry on a conversation.

He guided me to Carlisle's office and went to find Rosalie. Before I could knock on the door, it opened and Carlisle greeted me warmly, not yet noticing my sour mood. "So, how are you today Bella?" He spoke cheerily. Someone woke up on the right side of the bed today.

"Oh, I'm just peachy! Who wouldn't be on such a nice, cloudy day?" I shouldn't have gotten so short with him, but I couldn't help it. His naturally joyous disposition was grinding my beans. "Bella, is something wrong?" His concern was irritating. There wasn't anything wrong, so why push it? "No Carlisle, nothing's wrong. Everything is fine. So just stop asking." I had snapped. That was it. I just walked out of the room and kept on walking. I didn't know where I was going; it's not like I could leave the house. But I knew I needed to calm down a bit before I face anyone.

Feeling around for some room where I could just sit and relax, I found what seemed to be the kitchen. I sat in a stool and put my head in my hands. "Hello?" My head shot up quickly, turning towards the voice that had just resonated from the kitchen entrance. "Oh, you must be Bella. I've heard so much about you!" The warm, sweet voice almost instantly calmed me. "Hi, umm, sorry. I didn't know anyone else was home. I was just sitting here…" Embarrassed for being found sitting in her kitchen, looking like I was about to have some sort of breakdown, I stood, a blush covering my neck and cheeks.

"Oh no dear, it's fine. I'm Esme, Edward and Alice's mother. And I just got in from the market. But…I thought Carlisle had an appointment with you today?" Again, I blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry…I've been having a really horrible day today and I think I snapped at your husband." Her quiet laughter filled the room as she walked forward. "Don't worry dear. We all have those days sometimes. Now, are you hungry? I was just about to make dinner." My hand slapped against my forehead as soon as she said dinner.

"Oh no, I forgot! I have to go home and cook dinner. I'll go get Emmett." Before I could move, a slight pressure was put on my shoulder and familiar electricity spread throughout my body. "No, it's okay. I'll take you home. Emmett and Rosalie are a bit…busy right now, if you know what I mean." The thought made me blush and I nodded my head once, not willing to go and break up the little "love-fest" that I'm sure they were having right now.

I walked along with Edward to the car, acutely aware of our close proximity. Why did these emotions have to show up now? Why Edward, the one person who was untouchable? This angered me to no end. My already sour mood was getting worse, Esme's calm voice already fading away from my memory, no longer holding me down to sanity. "Bella, are you feeling alright? You look kind of pale."

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to ease away the anger but to no avail. "Of course I'm fine Edward. I'm always fine. And I always look pale. That's what happens when there is no damned sun in this god-forsaken town. You turn albino!"

"Bella, I know something's wrong. Getting angry about it isn't the answer to it. Now, please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded, but I wouldn't give in. I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster that, no matter what turns and loops it took, always returned to anger and frustration. "Edward, why don't I just pay you to be my shrink? Obviously you feel the need to analyze me anyway, so why not get paid for it?" The Volvo had come to a stop and I quickly slid out of the car, miraculously not stumbling in the process. My cane in front of me, tapping lightly across the concrete, I stomped towards the front door. Quickly plucking the spare key from its hiding space, I unlocked the door and slammed it shut behind me. I'm sure the door didn't deserve to face my wrath, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

I made my way into the kitchen, pulling the fish and Henry Clearwater's special fish fry from the fridge and placing oil to heat in a skillet. I heard the door open and close quietly. The familiar foot steps just made me angry. Why was he here? "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to prod into your life; I just wanted to be helpful." His voice was heart breaking, so full of sadness, almost like a child who had just been told by their parents to be quiet. I wanted to be sorry. I wanted to apologize and tell him I wasn't in the best mood, but I couldn't. For some unknown reason, my anger overthrew my guilt and sadness.

"Edward, just go, okay? I don't need this right now." With a quiet sigh, he left, closing the door quietly behind him. Walking back over to the fridge, I opened the door to get out a couple eggs. Once I closed the door, I leaned my head against it. Angry with myself for being mad at Edward, I hit my head a few times, trying to rid myself of my stupidity. I wonder what would happen if people were able to stop stupidity by causing themselves bodily injury. Or perhaps they would be so stupid that they accidentally hurt themselves anyway.

A couple minutes later, the oil was hot enough and the fish battered evenly, ready to be cooked up for Charlie and Emmett when they got home. I placed a couple fillets in the pan, doing my best to avoid splattering oil all over my skin. I took out a pair and metal tongs and allowed the fish to fry, thinking over today in my head. Today really had been awful, but I made it worse by treating people horribly. Everyone deserved an apology for my rude behavior, though it probably seemed like I was hormonal today.

Prodding the fish with the tip of the tongs, I realized I was probably burning it and flipped it quickly. Quickly remembering to add a bit of salt, I crossed the kitchen and grabbed it. My hand hit it, causing it to fall and spill over. "Damn," I mumbled to myself. I picked it up and crossed the kitchen again, only to trip in the process. My hands reached out in front me, desperately trying to grasp something to keep me from toppling to the ground. But what my hand hit wasn't pleasant. My wrist the curve of the skillet, causing my skin to burn and stick to it. I gasped in pain, but what came next was much worse. Oil from the pan splattered on my arm, searing it and causing a horrible stinging and burning sensation to erupt across my nerve endings. I screamed, the pain too unbearable to take.

Grease from the pan had splattered on the floor, making it hard to move without slipping and the pain was turning into a constant sting on my skin. I didn't hear someone open the door, but I did hear what came next. "Bella, I'm sorry, I think I left my jack-Oh my god, Bella!" I heard Edward run towards me, apparently much more graceful than me because he didn't even slide against the greasy floor. The click of the stove dial told me that he had just turned it off, saving me from having a kitchen fire. Taking in the situation, I assume he understood what happened because he automatically dragged me over to the sink, running cold water down my arm, easing the burn.

I wanted so desperately to cry, to get my emotional release…it was getting harder to keep them in. "Bella, it's okay; you're fine." I turned into his chest and held myself there; willing the tears away, but they were resisting my pleas. "Bella, please, tell me, are you okay?" My head shook, or maybe that was my whole body. Everything felt so cold compared to the burning on my arm. "No, no, I can't. I can't cry. I can't cry…" I mumbled to myself, trying to rid things away, hoping my words would be enough. Apparently, I didn't say the mantra quietly enough, because automatically, Edward pulled away, grasping my face between his hands.

"What do you mean you can't cry?! Bella, if you need to cry, go ahead. I won't judge you." He had it all wrong, but his words made it even harder. I shook my head again, trying to pull away from him, but he held my arms to him, his iron grasp not relinquishing any.

"Tell me Bella. There's something you aren't telling me. Please. I can't stand this." My knees weakened beneath me and I nearly fell over. His strong arms supported me, slowly lowering me to the floor so he could sit along with me. "Bella, trust me. I've been here. I've always been here, just tell me."

"I can't. I can't…I just can't…I'm sorry…so sorry…so…"

EPOV

Her quiet pleas for me to not ask weren't going to work. It killed me for her to be in pain, but whatever it was that she wasn't telling me was causing more pain than she was letting on. "Bella, please." I pleaded, hoping desperately that she would talk to me, let me hear her. She didn't move, she just sat there, making me want to know exactly what was going on in her head. "I will tell you, but you will hate me afterwards. You will never want to see me again," she whispered. Her eyes watered, the milky veil still shielding what her mind held, but not hiding the clear emotions on her face. Pure agony, pain that I knew wasn't from the crescent shaped burn on her wrist or the oil splattered on her upper arm that were now bright red against her ivory skin.

"I could never hate you Bella." I tried to put in as much sincerity into my voice as possible. She shook her head, mumbling "Never say never" once.

**(A/N: I was going to then put, "And then she told me her story." And then ended it. But I know I wouldn't be alive tomorrow if I did that, so yeah. LOL. Are you ready?)**

"I don't know where to begin," she murmured quietly, pain seeping through her words. I put my arms around her, not caring if this was crossing the friendship boundaries that we had set up at the beginning of our friendship. "Just start wherever you are more comfortable." With a small nod, she began.

"Remember when you asked me about my blindness? You asked how long I'd been blind." I nodded, and then remembered that she couldn't see it. "Yes, I remember that."

"I didn't tell you because…that's the whole reason I left Phoenix. I can't go back." Then I remembered something. A little piece of information that just seemed to stand out above all the rest. "Bella, who's James?" She visibly stiffened, her jaw clenched shut.

"How do you know James?" she spoke through clenched teeth, her voice etched with pain and anger. I tightened my hold around her and spoke in her ear. "You talk in your sleep, Bella. Please, just tell me, who is he?"

"He was…my boyfrie-," she paused momentarily, "My ex-boyfriend." My breathing stopped short. Green clouded my eyesight as jealousy took over, but the look in Bella's eyes washed it all away. "And it's all my fault that he's dead." A gasp stopped in my throat. Dead?

"Bella, I'm sorry, but I don't really understand." She nodded once again, and continued. "About a year and a half ago, James Whitaker was the most popular guy in my school. I wasn't exactly popular, I didn't have many friends, so when he asked me out, I was confused but ecstatic nonetheless. So, we went out on a date." She paused, collecting herself, before continuing. "We went out for about four months and one day, he surprised me by coming over to my house. He brought me flowers and told me we were going out to dinner…and then, he told me that….," she tightened her grip on me, "that he loved me." I instantly stiffened, unable to get rid of the undeniable anger and jealousy I felt. Someone else loved her…but did she love him?

"And I didn't say it back. I didn't love him, not yet. When I told him, he got angry. He said that I was cheating on him, that I did love him but I was in denial. And he left me at the restaurant until my mom could pick me up. He didn't talk to me for days and so one of my friends, Victoria Scott, invited me to a party. She said that it would help get my mind off of James. I didn't know then that she hated me because he loved me." She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. "When we got there, everybody was drinking and smoking and I just wanted to get out of there.

"When I went to find Victoria, I was pushed into a wall. I freaked out when I saw that James was pinning me to the wall. He was drunk and I couldn't get away from him. He tried to….he was going to…" I held her tighter, silently telling her that she didn't have to say it.

"Someone walked into the closet thinking it was the bathroom, so James just pulled me out and dragged me to his car. I tried to get away and he just kept pulling me. He pushed me in the car and he just started driving." I quiet sob escaped her throat. "I tried to get him to stop, but he didn't listen. He was swerving on the road and people were honking at us, but he just didn't stop. I was too busy trying to stop him to see that he was heading straight for a tree. All I remember is hearing the crash and then not being able to see. I didn't feel anything, I just couldn't see. And James…he was…just…he…wouldn't wake up. And it was my entire fault!" That's when her hot tears landed on my shoulder, searing my skin with the pain that she felt. I carefully lifted her up and carried her to the living room couch. Her sobs didn't stop, but they quieted slightly after a few minutes. When they stopped, I pulled away slightly to see that she had fallen asleep. I didn't want to leave her, but I needed to bandage her arm and apply ointment if she didn't want to be in pain in the morning.

I placed her down on the couch and quickly ran up to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit. As soon as I got it, I got to work on her arm. The oil splatters weren't that bad, but she was going to have a crescent shaped scar on her wrist from the skillet burn. I bandaged it carefully, hoping that she didn't feel any of the stinging. When I finished, I tossed away the used swabs and sat next to Bella on the couch, lifting Bella so she could lie in my arms. I knew that lying on my body couldn't be anymore comfortable than the couch, but I was too selfish to care. I wanted, no, _needed _to hold her tight, to reassure her that everything would be alright. To tell her that it wasn't her fault, but the fault of _James. _

What could have been hours or mere minutes later, Emmett walked through his front door and took in the scene in front of him. He ran up to Bella and fell on his knees when he saw the bandages. "My god…Edward, what happened? Bella, are you okay?!" His frantic voice nearly woke Bella, but I quickly shushed him. "Emmett, she's fine. She was making dinner and well, you know how clumsy Bella is." His tensed posture relaxed before he started eying us, his gaze switching between Bella and I.

"OK, then what happened between you two?" His gaze seemed teasing, but there was an honest curiosity behind it. I sighed quietly, looking deeply at Bella's closed eyes and the calm look on her face. "She let me catch her when she fell."

**And there you have it! You have Bella's story, which seemed pretty simple to me. And I've researched blindness from an accident like that, and it actually can happen. And no, Bella didn't get glass in her eye. That's like a remake of some sort of Lifetime movie. But we'll get into that in later chapters. **

**So….if you review…I'll sing play the Happy Birthday song for you on Christmas!! Maybe….**

**And for those of you who didn't know, I'm still doing the word challenge. I really wasn't focusing on that though because this chapter was super important. But the word "gold" by the3rdBronte was used in this chapter. Thank you the3rdBronte!!**

**And I was serious about you people visiting my site. I really want people to read it. I promise to have more crud on it later, but for now, please just read it or whatever. Oh, and please sign my guestbook or contact me or something. I also have up a couple blog entries. I think the most recent one is more important, but whatever. **

**Please review!!**

**Sincerely Yours, **

**Laura a.k.a sovoyita**


	17. Chapter 13: Forgiven

**A/N: Okay my lovely readers and reviewers, I wanted to tell you that this chapter is kind of a big deal to me. I wasn't going to write it this way, but once I did, it just clicked. And so I just wanted to say that I am explaining a bit about James. Now, he wasn't a bad guy, okay? He just really loved Bella and he thought it was unfair that she didn't love him back. She liked him, but not as much as he liked her. And you know what crazy stuff alcohol can do to a person. So, don't hold a grudge against James. Anyway, you won't hate him as much after this chapter. I don't like holding grudges with characters that don't even exist. Oh and I forgot to tell you. **

**My school just started a Reading Society and to announce it, they quoted a piece from Twilight over the intercom during the morning announcements. Well, I want to join, but I fear that I will be surrounded by a large swarm of fan girls. Seriously, when the announcer said the name "Edward Cullen", there were gasps, oohs, and aaahs, throughout the entire class room. I'm surprised no one swooned at it. It's really annoying. **

**Oh yeah, and I'm sorry I changed POVs so much in this chapter. I needed to describe things a certain way and this just happened to be the best way. So hah, in your face! Just kidding XD**

**Disclaimer: I, sovoyita, to do not own the Twilight saga or any of its characters. Dang ye all to heck. **

**BPOV**

"Bella! What are you doing over there?" The voice sounded so familiar, like a memory that my mind wouldn't let me forget. And something strange was going on. I could see. I turned to the voice and found myself face to face with someone I had left behind, someone I had destroyed unintentionally. His blonde hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, his light blue eyes surprisingly bright. The last memory I had of him was after the accident, the ambulance taking his body away in a body bag, but not before I had caught a glimpse of his open, dead eyes glaring back at me. They had been so dark that night, nearly black, like pools of ink.

"James," I whispered, almost scared to raise my voice. He smiled kindly at me and raised his hand to my face. It made contact and for some unknown to me, I expected something to happen. A spark or flame to spark within my skin. But nothing. The touch felt empty, as if you touched a stranger. He smiled sadly at me and bowed his head a bit. "I should have known you would have fallen for someone else. I wasn't good enough for you." When he lifted his head, the smile was still in place, but unshed tears glistened in his eyes.

My head shook back and forth, my mind and mouth not forming the words that I wished to speak. He stared at me again before continuing. "Don't try and object Bella. You and I both know it. Anyway, I pushed you too hard. I should have given you time, but no! I was so stupid. I ruined everything and in the process, you got hurt. I will never forgive myself for what I did."

Finally, my vocal cords seemed to work and I spoke frantically. "James, no! It wasn't your fault, it was mine. And_ I_ wasn't good enough for _you_! Everyone saw it except for you and you know it. I…wasn't worth your time…" I looked down, for the first time seeing that we were standing on soft-looking green grass. Tears overflowed my eyes before I could control them; anguish spreading through my very being. He was dead and it was all my fault. How could he even stand to be here, so close to me, without staring on with disgust?

"Bella, if you don't stop this, I swear that I'll tickle you until you can't breathe." I gasped, taking an immediate step back. But, the inevitable happened. I fell. He laughed as I made my way to meet my old friend, the ground, but I didn't feel anything. He lay down beside me, looking at me lovingly. I knew I couldn't stare back at him the same way, but I could still appreciate his presence. He watched me, almost like he was searching for something. After a few moments, he sighed and spoke.

"Bella, I know it's not my decision and my opinion doesn't matter to you, but I need you to know that I think that you need to forgive yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. I was stupid enough to go drinking, I almost violated you. Apparently, I was idiotic enough to think that I could win you over by trying to take your virtue. And you continuously blame yourself for what happened to me. And don't lie and say you didn't because I saw what happened when you were with Edward." My head immediately snapped to him, a move that normally would have broken my neck. He chuckled lightly, a sad laugh, before continuing.

"Oh please, don't think I didn't know. I've been watching you for awhile, you know. It's not hard to see that you love him." I opened my mouth to protest, but he quickly covered it with his hand. "Don't lie. I know it. The way you look at him…it's unreal. And…I think he's a good guy. He can take care of you better than I could, and he really cares. Plus…he doesn't care that you can't see him. And I would like to say that I'm truly sorry for what I have done. It's all my fault that you are blind. I can only hope that one day, you will forgive me."

"James, there is nothing to forgive. It was a mistake. I forgave you a long time ago. And I don't like Edward!" He just smiled at me and shook his head. "Silly…oh well, you'll realize it soon enough. But, I must say that I hope you do soon. I don't think Edward wants to wait that long."

"Wait…what? That's just stupid. He doesn't like me. That's impossible." James just chuckled and stood up, pulling me up with him. "Well, this is where we part." I stared, shocked, at him while he smiled at me once more, tears finally protruding from behind his eyes. "No, why now? Can't we have just a bit longer?" He shook his head and pulled me tightly against his chest. He kissed the top of my head before reluctantly releasing me, tears now pouring down both of our faces.

"Don't worry. Though we may never see each other again, everything will be alright. Just remember, I'm always watching out for you. So if that Edward hurts you in any way at all, just know that I'll make sure that the big guy upstairs hears about it." We laughed together for a moment before things around me started to get blurry.

My eyesight was slowly fading, darkness coming back and pulling James into it. I called to him, but he just smiled and waved. Just as complete darkness took over my mind, I heard the faint whisper of a goodbye.

**EPOV**

Watching Bella sleep was something I could never get enough of. The perfect look of serenity on her face showed me everything. What she was like before the accident, before she met that monster, before she came into my life. I quickly shoved the thought from my mind, not wishing to visit that time again. I was practically an empty shell that just happened to have hormones in which I let rule my body.

Strangely, Bella wasn't speaking tonight. I longed to hear her say something, anything, just to hear her voice again. And then, tears started rolling down her face. I was immediately was by her side, holding her hand again mine. I debated waking her, but then I noticed the smile on her face. How could she be smiling and crying at once? But I didn't question it any longer and went back to sit in the old rocking chair in the corner of her room. Would she wish for me to be here when she woke? I didn't think so, but I couldn't bring myself to leave.

After explaining the situation to Emmett, leaving out the details of Bella's story, he told me to watch over her while he cleaned the mess all over the kitchen floor. He had fallen asleep watching an old football game, leaving me to my thoughts.

My rubbed my eyes, trying to fight off sleep. It didn't look like Bella and I would be fit for school, so I had called Carlisle to ask him to write an excuse for us both after explaining to Charlie what had happened. He was just upset that Bella had gotten hurt, so he immediately said that she wasn't leaving home the next day.

Not without escaping my notice, Bella finally started moving around, her lips just barely moving, but no sound escaping them. She rolled over once more before going still, her body relaxing into the sheets. "Edward," she murmured. A large grin broke across my face and I crossed the room to her bed once more. My hand caressed from her temple to her jaw and she leaned into my touch. This only caused my grin to grow wider.

I pulled my hand back and her breathing got shallower. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she gasped before jumping back slightly, only to hit her head on her wall. "Ow," she muttered quietly. A chuckle escaped my lips before I went on to assess the damage. My fingers lightly searched her head for any sort of bump or scratch…or that's what it looked like. In reality, I was truly just wishing to get my hands into her silky mahogany locks. I noticed goose bumps and a crimson blush spread across her skin when my hand lightly grazed the side of her cheek. I smiled and she got redder.

"Well, it seems there was no permanent damage. Of course, you are going to have to stay home for today; Charlie already excused you." She opened her mouth to protest, but after I pointedly stared at her, she fidgeted for a bit and sighed. "Why do you always have to win?" I chuckled and a small grin crept onto her face.

This wasn't what I was expecting. I had almost assumed she would be mad at me; perhaps she was mad that I had left her in the first place the night before and now she had to live with a scar. My eyes automatically turned to her only to see that she was facing towards me. The way she looked at me, it was like she was actually s_eeing _me. And as much as I wanted her to gaze at me that way, there were matters at hand that I needed to take care of.

"Bella?" Her head snapped toward the sound of my voice and she instantly grew more alert. "Yes?" She gestured with her hand for me to continue. "I think…we need to talk about last night." Her beautiful, doe-like eyes instantly widened and a small blush found its way upon her face, along with a grimace. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have put all that on you…I just lost control. But don't worry, I'll be more careful next time."

"No Bella. You will not be more careful "next time"; nor will you ever "control" your emotions like that again. You can't just control your emotions like that! You're going to kill yourself with emotional overload! Can't you see that? Are you blind?" As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I regretted it.

**BPOV**

"Are you blind?" And that was it. Anger washed over, clouding my judgment as heat inhabited my skin. I'm sure I was blushing the color of a tomato right now, but I didn't care.

"Well, _Edward_, technically, I am blind. And if you don't mind, I'd rather not be judged by someone who has no idea what the hell is wrong." I stood up from my bed and grabbed my cane from the floor. I don't remember leaving it there, but that was fine.

It unfolded, snapping together as I made my way to the door. Much to my surprise, I didn't stumble on my little journey down the stairs to the living room. I heard quiet footsteps quickly making their way down the stairs behind me.

"Bella, I didn't mean it. I was being stupid-"and that's where my memories cut off his words. _I was stupid…I was stupid…I was stupid…._James…he had forgiven me….he said it was all okay….

"Bella? Bella?!" I don't remember Edward pulling me into his arms and setting me down carefully on the couch, but apparently he did because it creaked beneath me, years of use finally taking its toll. "Bella, what's wrong? Bella, please, just talk to me!" But I ignored him.

When I had woken, the dream was teetering on the edge of my memories like a needle on the edge of a dull knife. Now it had come back, full blown and in color in my imagination, making me elated. I smiled a big, toothy grin and sat up. Edward took my face between his hands and faced me towards him, probably trying to figure out whether or not I should be in the loony bin.

"Bella, are you alright? Do I need to call Charlie?" Each word was spoken slowly and cautiously, as if he was afraid that I would break down or have another mood swing if he said the wrong word.

Unfortunately for hi, he was just about to get even more confused.

**EPOV**

My mind was going on overload as she sat there, going from blindly furious (no pun intended) to lost in the abyss to full blown happiness. I was seriously thinking about checking her calendar. Maybe she was just being a little…hormonal.

She just stared at nothing, obviously not seeing anything, but completely happy, blissful. I would have given all that I owned just to see into her mind for a mere second. Then her face went blank for a moment. Her expressions were changing rapidly, almost as if her mind couldn't decide on what to think or feel.

Her brows were furrowed; her beautiful, pink lower lip was between her teeth as she lightly bit it, deep in concentration. Finally, after about a minute more of getting lost in her own thoughts, her face relaxed and a grin broke across her face, her eyes filling with unshed tears.

Worried, I stepped forward cautiously and pulled her into a hug. "Bella, what's wrong?" She shook her head and a light, almost hysterical laugh escaped her lips.

"I…just can't…understand. I don't even know what I'm saying! He actually forgave me! It's not my fault! He just…and I…and we're…it's all wonderful!" And now I was lost. I held her closer and tried to understand why this made her so happy. Who exactly had forgiven her and for what? As far as I knew, she hadn't done anything wrong. "Umm, Bella? I need you to be a little less vague. I'm kind of lost here." A laugh escaped her lips and she pulled away from me before "looking" into my eyes.

A pang of pain was sent through me at the thought that she would never get to see how much I wanted, _needed _her.

"He forgave me! I can't believe it, he actually did! And he said he was sorry and that it was all great and we actually got to be friends! We were normal! Everything was okay and-" I put my hand over her lips to stop her from talking. Trying to figure this out would be impossible if she was babbling about something that I had no clue about. Who was this "he"? Green nearly clouded my eyesight again as jealousy watched over me in waves. Slowly, trying not to let my anger shoot out at her, I spoke. "Bella…who are you talking about?" Her eyes, glowing from her happiness, suddenly dulled slightly, but a sad smile appeared on her face.

"James." I froze. How could he apologize?! "I had a dream last night. He was there and everything. He said that everything would be okay, that I didn't need to be mad at myself. Even if he was just being nice, I still actually saw James. He said he forgave me! I know it sounds crazy and doesn't make sense, but he said he would be watching over me and he also said that y-"a deep blush found its way to her cheeks, "umm, actually, he said that I needed to be more careful. Falling over myself isn't something he wants to see." A nervous laugh escaped her lips while as mine pursed.

Sadness and jealousy had just taken over my mind and heart. Bella was happy that James was in her dream, even if it wasn't real. Bella _liked _the idea of James watching over her. She liked him more than she would ever like me. But she still needed a friend, and for that, I would be here. I began quietly, trying to be soothing. "Bella, none of it was your fault. You couldn't have stopped him no matter what. If anything, it was his fault for letting his anger take control over her actions."

She mumbled a quiet 'That's what he said.' I laughed and saw that she was trying to suppress a grin by biting her lip. But something in her features was off…but in a good way. Something was making her nervous, but at the same time, calm. Then I noticed that my hand was still on hers though I had pulled out of the hug long before. But then, it became clear.

Her normally veiled eyes, though still veiled, revealed an emotion that I couldn't decipher, but I knew wasn't something that could be covered by blindness. Some untold emotion that almost seemed to have been forbidden from her eyes before was now shining through. Whatever it was, it pulled me forward, taking control over my every nerve.

"Bella," a murmur escaped my lips but I didn't care. My hand was rising by itself; no help from my mind was needed to do this. My fingertips ran from her temple to her jaw, then down her neck. Long and slender, it pulsed beneath my hand, her heart beat rapidly heightening.

My other hand lifted itself, pushing a long strand of her hair away from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear. It then moved down to her lips, my thumb running across her lips, feeling them beneath the pad. They parted slightly beneath my thumb, releasing her sweet breath to fan across my face, making my eyes glaze over.

Everything about her had me under her spell and I couldn't pull away. Her enchanting voice sounded all around me as I slowly moved closer. "Edward," she murmured. Oh how sweet my name sounded coming from her lips!

She pulled in closer to me, her hands still down at her sides. I was a mere four inches away from her face, so close that I could just tilt my head and reach….

Her eyes fluttered closed and she moved forward. I followed her lead and slowly pulled her closer, trying to not rush into anything. I had waited weeks to do this. I could wait a few more seconds. And then it happened.

Everything that I had once thought held me down to this earth disappeared. The only thing holding me now was this moment, this girl, no woman, her face, her lips, her smile, her eyes; only she could hold me down anymore.

The most glorious sensation in the world couldn't compare to what I was feeling. If I had been murdered now, I would have died a happy man, because this one kiss was like living a full life. Shocks of electricity were shooting through my lips to the rest of my body. Her perfect lips moved perfectly in sync with mine. And just when I thought it couldn't get better, she parted her lips slightly, letting me taste her breath.

I was losing control. Surely if she didn't stop, there would be no stopping the ravishing that this girl would face. Maybe I had finally been forgiven for being so stupid in the beginning.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!"

Or maybe not.

**So, are you happy? I wanted to spread this chapter out a bit more, but decided that you all had suffered enough with the wait. I couldn't just have them start making out at random (well, technically, I could because I am the author, but I don't think that is very Bella/Edwardish. And who is this person who just happens to have potty mouth? Well, it's not that hard to guess. **

**Anyway, you guys have rocked with reviewing. Seriously, 332 reviews?! I'm psyched!! Oh yeah, I'm sorry I haven't used any words in this chapter, but I needed to concentrate on the actual dream sequence and the kiss. **

**Anyway, if you review, I'll give you a virtual cookie. Unless you want a virtual Edward…but then again, who doesn't? **

**Sincerely the Girl Who Writes More Than She Does Her Homework,**

**Sovoyita **


	18. Chapter 14: Just Breathe

**Finally!!! I'm so sorry guys. Last week, I had Midterm Exams and crap that really sucks. And then Monday after school, I had All Region Auditions and I was ill prepared for it. Luckily, I made a good chair and I didn't freeze up during my audition. Plus, my name got mentioned on the morning announcements and now my orchestra teacher is happy with me!!! Mr. Hooper, you rock!!! **

**Oh yeah, I put up a link for the playlist for Blinding Lights. It doesn't have many songs on it now, but trust me, it will. I'm working my way up. There is plenty of drama left in this story, and the songs I have yet to place on the playlist are meant specifically for all that drama. **

**Anyway, I was going to go into some major detail in this chapter, but since I don't have a lot of time to write it out, I'm going to just skip Bella's POV on the kiss. She basically felt the same as Edward. She feels she's been forgiven and then BAM!!! Emmett shows up with a dirty mouth. So enjoy this chapter. You are going to see some stuff that you may have not expected, but it's going to happen. And I apologize again for not updating faster. For the past few weeks, I've been working nonstop on my All Region music. To me, All Region isn't important, but it was mandatory for me. Sorry. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything…okay, I do own a really cool picture of L Lawliet from Death Note, but other than that, I own nothing. **

**P.S. I know you all are getting annoyed with the length of my ANs but I didn't proofread this chapter. I wanted it out as soon as possible. Sorry for any mistakes.  
**

**BPOV**

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" I immediately jumped away from Edward, nearly landing on the floor in the process. My breath was ragged, Edward's scent still lingering around me and planting me in a kiss-induced daze. But Emmett's booming stomps almost immediately cleared my mind. I heard Edward shuffling around me, seeming just as nervous as I was. I stood as quickly as I could and walked over to the sound of Emmett's footsteps. Of course, my infernal clumsiness decided to make its debut right then and there.

I held my arms out to catch myself, but impact never came. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist and balanced me on my feet before reluctantly letting go. I could practically hear Emmett growling at Edward as his fingertips brushed against my arms.

"Emmett, it's not what it looks like. Bella and I were jus-"Emmett roared in anger before speaking in a menacing tone. "Oh, so you two weren't just sucking face together?" He was now standing right in front of us, his every breath hard and shallow. I had never truly been intimidated by my brother and yet now, here I was, retreating from his surely towering figure that was now reprimanding me for kissing a boy.

Wait...he couldn't control my actions. I was seventeen years old! I took care of him half the time! And now, my jaw had tightened, locking in place as I stepped forward. "Yes Emmett, we were just sucking face together and to hell are you going to tell me that I can't. I don't tell you to stop going at it with Rosalie." A bit of guilt filled me when I was done. Bringing Rosalie into the situation may have been a wrong move, but I did. Hopefully, mentioning their relationship would calm the situation a bit.

I was wrong.

I heard Emmett take a step towards my left and then the screaming started again. "Do you see what you've done? You've corrupted her! What did I tell you about getting near my little sister?! You sick, twisted bastard!!!" I could practically feel the wave of air hit me as his fist aimed directly at Edward. No. _Not him, _I thought desperately.

**EPOV**

Emmett's yelling I could take. I could take his beating. But I couldn't take the look of determination and fear Bella held on her face as she stepped in front of me, blocking Emmett's punch from my face and allowing it to hit her shoulder. Emmett's expression had gone from blind fury to horror in a matter of seconds.

Bella gasped quietly and started a descent down to the floor. My arms were immediately around her waist, lifting her and holding her tightly in my arms. I had felt Emmett's playful punches before. I could only imagine what a real punch had felt like for the delicate angel that lay in my hands.

Tears were welling up from behind her veiled eyes, but she didn't release them. She winced, her hand automatically going to her now injured shoulder and holding it, as if keeping her arm from falling off completely. When I looked up, Emmett's expression was torn. He wanted to apologize, to get closer, but he wasn't sure what to do. He had done many stupid things before, but never before did these idiotic actions ever once cause his own sister pain. She was practically his life and he had just damaged her.

He took a step closer, but I wouldn't allow that. My angel was in pain and if he dared step closer, he was going to be dead. I hissed at him loudly, hugging Bella tighter to my chest. A growl escaped my throat as my lip started curling over my teeth. _If he gets any closer… _

His eyes were red with unshed tears and he opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. Nothing he could say would make this better. The force behind his hit was enough to make a full grown man pass out if the blow had hit him in the head.

Bella slowly sat up, shaking her head and drying her eyes before wincing again as she put too much pressure on her arm. I tried to sooth her, hugging her to me and breathing in her hair. Perhaps I was trying to calm myself as well. Chief Swan wouldn't have been pleased had I tried to murder his only son…

Bella's body went stiff before she turned to me and put her hands on both sides of my face. "Oh god Edward, are you okay? He didn't hit you, did he?" Of course she wouldn't worry about herself. Because it was so obvious that when you get hit, you are supposed to be worried about the person who was supposed to get hit, I thought sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

I just ignored her and held her hands to my face. My breath came out in an angry sigh. This was probably one of the stupidest things she had ever done.

"Bella," I groaned. "Are you okay? How's your shoulder?" _Did you know that I was petrified when I saw you take that hit? Did you know that I love you more than my own life and that I'd take a thousand punches from Emmett just for you to kiss me again? _

Her eyes narrowed and the crease between her eyes came back. Finally, after a few seconds, her face formed a grimace and she sighed. "Ow." I chuckled and then relaxed. "That's what I thought." A smile graced her lips and she hugged me to her. I sighed again.

"You know Bella, you really need to get your priorities straight. Only you would ask me if I was fine right after you got punched." And her smile faded. "Emmett?" She called quietly, her eyes growing wider as she actually realized what had just happened. My eyes flashed across the room but there was no one to see. Emmett wasn't there.

"Oh god…you and I just…and Emmett…and he saw…and…crap," her breath was coming out in small little huffs and she grasped her hands together tightly and tried to calm herself. My hands automatically moved to her tensed shoulders and slowly felt them relax beneath my fingers. After a few minutes, she finally relaxed and leaned into my touch. Just as I was about to pull her into a hug, she shakily stood and grasped onto the couch for support.

"I have to find Emmett now, Edward. Now, where's my cane?" Sighing loudly, I jumped up and grabbed her folded cane off the floor. She held out her hands in front of her and waited for me to hand it over. I hesitated. It wasn't smart to go after Emmett now, right when he was just cooling down from his anger and his regret. The combination was bad enough for him.

But Bella wouldn't wait. She grabbed her cane, snapping it open and began walking out the door.

**BPOV**

Yes, Emmett would have to understand. To be totally honest, the kiss was still surreal to my clouded mind. It had been a tidal wave of emotions hitting me like a battering ram in a matter of seconds. And I _liked it. _That fact still got me. Knowing that I was falling for Edward was one thing, but the fact that he reciprocated those feelings was something that I wasn't expecting.

But what if he didn't feel the same way? What if he was just caught in the moment, allowing me to have this one wish come true while I was still on my high from James forgiveness?

My head spun the idea of Edward's pity kiss, causing me to feel physically sick. I picked up my speed, my cane clacking against the ground as I made my off the porch steps and to the gravelly driveway. He couldn't have gotten far. Edward's quiet footsteps were close behind me, trying to catch up with me, probably to stop me in what he probably thought was me acting like a crazed, madwoman. I probably looked like that too.

Edward's hand clasped onto my shoulder, turning me around quickly. The painful throbbing continued as I gasped when he touched the sore spot. He instantly released me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to!" I mentally rolled my eyes. It wasn't that big of a deal.

"Again, I'm fine," I said exasperatedly. "Anyway, I know where Emmett is. So if you'll excuse me…" I wanted to get away as soon as possible, before he had the chance to say he regretted kissing me, that he didn't want to be my friend anymore…

"No Bella, we have to talk. Emmett can wait." My head bowed, allowing my hair to fall into my face. I didn't want him to see me. After all, I did have quite a few tears that had yet to be shed.

"What about Edward?" Maybe playing dumb would get me out of this. "What do you mean 'what about'? We just shared the best kiss in my entire life and now you're pretending it didn't even happen!" Or not.

"Maybe it didn't happen, Edward. Maybe it was all a part of our overly vivid imaginations." Sarcasm was clear in my voice. _He said it was the best kiss of his life. _I didn't want to hear that he loved it. He was probably just lying to spare my feelings, to spare me from another heart break; this one more emotional than the last.

The gravel cracked underneath his feet as he stood in front of me and put his hands on both sides of my face. I breathed deeply only to have my nose assaulted with his sweet breath in my face. It was warm and inviting, tempting me to lick my lips. "You didn't like it?" His voice was carefully guarded, but my good ears had picked up on the hidden emotions. He was _hurt. _And that was it. I couldn't take his sadness. It was too much. So I did something that I would definitely be blushing for later. I jumped on him.

He stumbled back with his arms tightly around me as he tripped off of the cement and onto the soft grass that grew in our yard. With a small 'oomph', we landed on the ground and my lips went to work. They found his mouth and kissed fervently, trying to express just how much I liked his kiss. It was completely unlike me to jump on someone like this, but at the moment, his very essence filled me to the brim. His scent, his lips, his ragged breathing. All my nerve endings were screaming for more, telling me to touch his in any way possible.

Almost instantly, he started responding, his arms winding around my waist, pulling me tightly to his chest and not relinquishing. His lips were gentle and smooth against my own, but the way he was kissing me…he was holding back. It was like he wanted to believe that I was kissing him, but had yet to actually submit to the reality of it all. My fingers were tangled in his silky locks, tugging lightly. The burning in my lungs was getting unbearable, but I didn't want to stop. Slowly and reluctantly, I pulled back to breath. I desperately wished to see his face. Were his lips swollen now, puckering slightly in a desperate attempt to reach my own? I hoped so.

"Never...say I didn't…like…it." My breath came out in gasps as I held his face firmly between my hands. I didn't understand what had gotten into me. Apparently, James was at fault. If he hadn't told me to go after Edward, I probably would have done this as calmly as possible. But oh no, he just had to tell me. Shouldn't he have known that I would jump on the chance to do this at the first opportunity?

And then I was being pulled tightly into a hug. Edward sat up and buried his face into my neck and breathed in deeply. "Thank you," he murmured quietly, the vibrations of his lips tickling my skin. But still, I was confused. "For what?" His arms tightened again and his face pulled away from my neck. His forehead rested against my own. "For not letting me seem like a fool for believing that you liked me back. For giving me the best moment of my life. For trusting me. For everything."

His words were almost too much to bear. Everything would have been perfect had I not just realized that Emmett was still gone and I had yet to tell him the truth. Sighing, I spoke. "Edward, I'm sorry for ruining the moment, but I just realized that Emmett is still sitting in that tree outside my window and I have to go talk to him. We'll have to continue this afterwards." I could feel his pout against my lips as he lightly brushed his own against mine. I laughed and pecked his lips before getting off Edward's lap. It was only then that I realized that I had been straddling his hips the entire time. My face heated up instantly.

"What's wrong Bella? Why are you blushing?" My blush deepened as he observed the redness of my cheeks. I pretended not to hear him and waited for him to stand. Sighing again, I told him to wait for me before grabbing my cane and making my way over to my tree. I had never been able to climb it, but Emmett had always been much more agile than myself and often climbed the tree in his earlier days when he was upset. That happened often when Renee and Charlie had been together; their petty arguments often ruined his normally joyous mood.

Finally, my hand touched the rough bark of the large oak that stood outside my room. "Emmett, please come down. I know you're up there." I heard his breath stop and bit my lip. "How would you know I'm up here?" he muttered quietly.

I heard the rustling of leaves and a couple small cracks before a loud thump resonated from the ground. "Hey Emmett –" I was cut off as he pulled me into a huge hug. Warm tears trickled down his face and onto the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight and you got hurt! Please, just forgive me. You don't have to talk to me ever again!"

"Emmett…can't…breathe…" He quickly released me and stepped back. I panted for a few moments before regaining my composure and speaking. "Emmett, I would like to explain what happened today. Umm…obviously, you saw what happened, but…I think you need to know the reasoning behind it." He started to mumble something along the lines of 'Yeah, the reasoning behind it was that Edward wanted something to jerk o –' but I held out my hand to interrupt him. "Emmett, it was a mutual act. He didn't force himself on me, nor has he corrupted me. The truth is that we initiated the kiss together." I imagined him wincing at the word 'kiss'. He still hadn't realized I was his teenage sister, not a little girl.

He was silent for a few minutes, but his pacing was a sign that he was thinking this through. Finally, he stopped midstride and walked over to me. "You really like this guy, don't you?" His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful. A grin stretched across my face. I nodded, "I'm pretty crazy about him." _Crazy about him doesn't even begin to cover it. _My grin widened at the thought of our kiss.

His hands went on my shoulders, being gentle with my wounded one, and he spoke quietly. "Then I won't bother you anymore about it…but if that bastard hurts you, I swear I'll –" I cut him off again with a hug. I buried my face in his chest and just laughed. Finally, something was going right. Finally, I could just breathe.

**And just so you all know, I feel that this chapter was kind of forced. Actually, it was really just the beginning that was forced. Once I got about ¼ of the way through, it all just started writing itself. I just have a lot on my mind right now. I'm trying out for Solo & Ensemble, meaning that I have to learn a solo and memorize it for another audition. But don't worry. I'll do my very best to update sooner. **

**I felt that Bella and Edward needed this chapter. They've been going through all this crap and its all been so horrid for them. So I wrote this chapter in their favor. And y'all better thank ****Ellie-twilight-lover**** for making me update faster. It turns out, she's my twin from the UK!!! We are very much alike. So thank her!!!**

**And now, I'm going to recommend a story. It's called **_**Theory**_** by Ness Lupin. Its rated M, so there are…love scenes (don't say lemons; she doesn't like that). Speaking of…love scenes, I wrote my very first one called **_**Where'd You Go**_**. It's on my profile. Please read and review it. I promise it's not raunchy or just overall insane. Unfortunately, I posted it when fan fiction had that mishap with the emails and hardly anyone got the alert. Again, please read it!!! **

**Sincerely Yours,**

**-Laura a.k.a Sovoyita**


	19. Chapter 15: Return

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

"I don't know if I can do this."

Edward held my hand tightly in his, its warm touch enough to calm me momentarily before I started listing off more reasons why I shouldn't have to tell Carlisle about what happened. Surely the events of my past didn't have to be relayed to everyone, right?

"Bella, I'll be there for you every step of the way, okay? If you get stuck, I'll tell Carlisle myself. Just trust me, please?" He pleaded with me. And I, being the naturally submissive person I am when it came to Edward, gave in with a small nod. He played with the strands of hair that fell down my neck while I sighed contentedly. Right after my talk with Emmett, Edward insisted on taking me to Carlisle to "come to terms with my past". I had thought that I had come to terms when I spoke to Edward, but apparently, I needed help. Yeah, that's the kind of thing a girl _definitely _wants to hear when she just spilled her heart out.

A few minutes later, I heard the quiet padding of shoes against carpet. The familiar footsteps inched closer to us before I heard the familiar breathing of Carlisle.

"Hello Bella. Edward called and said you wanted to talk about something…" I nodded and tried to gather the words that I wanted to say. How hard could it be to retell what I already said? Unfortunately, it _was _easier said than done.

"I…um, it's just that…I-I can't do this." I turned away and started to make a mad dash for the door when I felt a warm arm circle around my waist and pull me back. "Oh no you don't, Bella. At least stay here and I'll tell Carlisle, okay?" I nodded glumly before taking a seat. And then it all started again.

Edward telling Carlisle my story caused something that I didn't expect. My emotions were haywire, making me want to scream, cry, and thrash around in anger, all at once. All for the friend I had lost, for the forgiveness he gave me, for the people I gained because of it. But never once, I realized, did I mourn for my missing eyesight.

It didn't make sense! I had believed that after all of this, my only problem would be my eyesight, or lack of. But in the end, the only thing I worried about now wasn't the blindness; it was the effects said blindness would cause my newly found relationship with Edward. We never properly discussed the kisses or where we were in this strangely constructed relationship. Were we dating? Were we a couple? Was he my boyfriend and I his girlfriend? Did he even want me in that way? All these new questions had answers that could only be answered mutually. But I was scared.

Because the truth could make me or break me. I wanted Edward in a way that was foreign to me. I couldn't explain the spiraling static that consumed me whenever I even touched my hand to his, the way his laughter made me want him to laugh again, the way the warmth of his presence took me under its control every time he entered the room. _What was it?_

* * *

Edward drove me home an hour later, Carlisle having said that he needed to go over his notes for our next appointment. The ride was quiet, an awkward silence settling over us in a thick sheet. My fingers twirled around each other, and I turned towards the window, pretending to see what was outside. The anxiety from before was now gone and replaced with an anxiousness that was pushing me, clawing into me and making me feel like I should maybe just jump out of the car, just for something to do.

When the Volvo came to a stop, I didn't move to open the door and instead took a deep breath. It should have been clear what to do next but I was coming up blank. How did normal girls proceed in this sort of situation? I was almost positive that most girls weren't blind. And I was also pretty sure that in this situation, most girls would jump Edward as soon as they got the chance. Apparently, I would have to wait to get him on my driveway so that when I did take that leap, there would be a thick layer of overgrown, soft grass protecting him from further injury.

Just as I opened my mouth to awkwardly excuse myself from his car, I was interrupted by a velvety voice. "Bella…I-I don't really know how to…proceed with this. This usually isn't the kind of thing that happens," I laughed at just how right he was and he chuckled nervously. "Well, um, if I wasn't particularly clear before, I was kind of hoping that maybe, you would…maybe go on a, um, dinner with me?" It took me awhile to decipher what he was saying. His sentence never really ended and I was just a bit confused.

"…what?" He sighed and I almost imagined him running his hands through his silky hair (the hair that I now wished to run my hands through again). His large, slender yet strong hand took hold of my own and held it. "Will you, Bella Swan, accompany me to dinner this Friday night?" Before I really even had a chance to think it over, my head nodded on its own and a grin stretched across my face. Soft hands grasped my face, turning it to my left. Warm, sweet breath hazed my senses and I breathed in deeply, trying to take in more. My eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Instead, I just tried to concentrate on the feeling of the spiraling static coursing through his hands and into my cheeks, boiling the blood and forming a blush on my cheeks. But I wasn't embarrassed.

"Bella, I need to apologize for not really starting off this," he paused for a moment, probably making a hand movement between the two of us, "without properly taking you out on a date. But I-"

I couldn't take the scent of his breath, running across my face and causing more warmth when mixing with his strong hands. I just covered his angular cheeks with my own too small hands and pulled him forward unexpectedly. My lips met his and they molded. He didn't react for a moment, probably still in shock, before his lands slid into my hair, pulling me even closer. Leaning over the dashboard wasn't exactly comfortable and my stomach would probably be bruised from the rough pulling I was getting, but I didn't feel like stopping. And just as suddenly as the kiss had started, it stopped.

Edward's breathing was coming out in deep but unsteady breaths as my own were coming in short, embarrassing gasps. Finally, I heard Edward clear his throat. "Bella, I'm trying to be serious." Even I could hear the humor hidden behind his serious façade and I couldn't help but laugh unsteadily with him. "I wish I could say the same for myself." He laughed again more heartily than before.

"Um, I better get inside. Em's probably waiting for me. And I need to cook dinner and-" Edward placed his mouth over mine, cutting me off.

He pulled away too soon for me to comply. "Heaven will freeze in hell before I let you cook dinner again. They'll fend for themselves. With an injured shoulder _and _hand, there is no way you'll be cooking anytime soon. Emmett's picking something up anyway. He already called." I nodded and opened my door. "Oh Bella?" He called. I turned around only to be met with his warmth breath in my face again. I could feel the heat from his skin oh so close to my own. "I'll see you Friday night. Seven o'clock." I nodded dizzily and stepped out of the car, stumbling slightly. My shaky walking took me up to my door before I heard the Volvo pull away. But I could have sworn I heard a velvety chuckle being muffled.

* * *

School had been a forbidden zone for the remainder of the week. Charlie was worried around my burns and my shoulder. I told him that I had fallen down the stairs and had been bruised up a bit. Emmett probably glared holes in the back of my head for not allowing him to take the blame, but I saw no point in two people taking the blame for my stupidity. Instead, I forced him to cook dinner, under my supervision, for the week. I wouldn't have them eating heart attacks on a pizza crust for an entire week just because of my inability to walk on a flat, stable surface.

By the end of the week, my hand had healed sufficiently and I was able to walk up the stairs on my own. Charlie had become a little over protective through the week, constantly checking if I was alright. I began to think that maybe Carlisle had talked to him about my "fragile" state, but I couldn't be sure. But other matters were at hand.

The date with Edward was waging war on my mind, causing me to go ballistic. _What will I wear? How should I fix my hair? Where is he taking me? Will I get through the night without tripping over a waiter and splashing food across the restaurant, including myself? _

I had never really tried all that hard on my previous dates with James. A nice blouse with a skirt would be perfectly reasonable for most dates with him. But this wasn't James. It was _Edward_. _The Edward _and his opinion mattered more than anything else. So when Alice and Rosalie showed up at my door on Friday night. While I would normally be upset that they came to dress me up, I couldn't stop the relief that calmed me when they said that they had brought me the perfect date outfit. I had through a torturous makeover before and decided that it was best to just shut up and endure.

"Bella, sit still or I swear you'll have another burn." I grimaced but sat as still as I could while Alice held the barrel of the curling iron too close to my face. Rosalie was painting _something _on my face while I tried my best to keep my facial expression blank. Rosalie and I hardly talked but I didn't feel awkward around her. She and I weren't close friends like Alice and I, but I could tell she was making an effort into the friendship. Which is why is surprised me when she began asking a few questions.

"Bella, not to be rude or offensive or anything, but when was the last time you actually went to the doctor for your eyes? I mean, I have no idea how this whole thing goes, but it's only been what, maybe a year since the accident? Shouldn't there have been a few appointments with the optometrist or something?" I smiled at her curiosity.

"Actually, I haven't gone since they took the bandage off my eyes a month after the…incident. They said I was blind, so I saw no point in trying to get my hopes up. Blindness can be cured but the doctor said since my eyes had been damaged previous to my blindness, the chance of the surgery actually helping was minimal. Besides, what would I do if they came up with a safer, more accurate method of getting my sight back and it was too late? It just wasn't worth it." I shrugged.

"But, Bella, what if they have come up with something new? Then there's a chance that you'll be able to see Edward! Isn't that what you want?" I smiled sadly and nodded.

"Exactly. It would kill me if the surgery was unsuccessful. Because of all things, I wouldn't want to hurt Edward by getting his hopes up just to tear them down. Edward's my main priority, even if he doesn't know it. If he's unhappy with my blindness, then I'm unhappy. I've learned to handle it, but…I don't think he could if this was held in front of him but he couldn't take it. That's why I have to prove to him that I am worthy enough, even if I'm not." I blushed at my explanation. It sounded so personal because it was. And I just told his sisters.

A collective "aw" reverberated through the room before Alice continued combing through my hair, ruffling the curls of hair a bit. Rosalie finished applying some sort of coloring to my lips before pulling away. When they both finished up, Alice pulled me up from my seat my room and pushed me into the bathroom. She tossed something into my hands and shut the door. I unfolded whatever it was, trying to feel it only to find that something had fallen to the floor. And it was lace.

A tiny bit of lace with underwire.

"Alice!" I screamed. The door to the bathroom opened and a sing song voice sang out, "Yes?"

"Alice, what is this," I held up the offensive feeling garments, "thing that you expect me to wear?" She sighed exasperatedly. "Bella, put the damn underwear on or I'll have Rosalie come in here. She can hold you down while I strip and dress you. We've done it before, we can do it again." An audible gulp came from my throat and Alice laughed her tinkling laugh. I scowled but agreed and changed.

The underwire of the bra felt strange, almost like it was cutting into my sides and I felt very scantily clad in the lacy, too small underwear with the knee-length dress. It was silky soft and flowed like liquid velvet over my skin, but I felt bare. The neckline came down in an overlapping V, barely showing any cleavage, but the fact that I couldn't see it was a bit unnerving. I didn't exactly want to give Edward a free show on our first date.

And so when the knock on the door came, I felt my stomach fill with overactive butterflies intent on making me sick. I stood at the top of the stairs according to Alice's directions who insisted on "making a big entrance". They stuck me in heels, one inch pumps that I was still scared of wearing, but accepted nonetheless. The other option was a pair of stilettos. I didn't even want to go there. Before they opened the door, Rosalie gave my lips a quick touch up before whispering in my ear.

"Bella, you are worth it."

And she walked away without another word. The door clicked open and quiet footsteps hit the linoleum floor only to stop dead in their tracks. The next thing I heard was an audible gasp.

**EPOV**

Bella's form stood at the top of the stairs. A flowing blue knee length dress covered her form, leaving her long ivory legs in my view. A V neckline led up her slender throat to her face where a crimson blush covered her cheeks, a nervous smile on her face and her milky chocolate eyes bright. Her mahogany hair flowed neatly down in neck in curls, so soft looking that it looked like silk. I didn't realize that I made a sound until her face darkened visibly. A smile tugged on my lips and I watched as she descended the stairs without her cane. I was ready to catch her just incase. The black pumps she wore weren't tall, but with Bella, you could never be sure.

When her face was illuminated even more by the yellowing light of the kitchen, I could see her more prominent features. Her normally plump lips were accentuated with a rosy red color that matched her cheeks and her eyes were brighter when surrounded by her thicker looking lashes. I turned to Alice who stood bouncing in the corner of the room next to a stoic looking Rosalie. Alice was beaming proudly at her work and I could see Rosalie's lips twitching at the corners. I smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' before leading Bella out of the house.

"Bella, you look amazingly beautiful." I whispered, feeling like if I spoke any louder, the moment would just disappear. Her cheeks flamed and she mumbled 'thank you'. I helped her into the Volvo and did her seat belt for her, allowing my hand to linger on her side. I knew it was ungentlemanly of me, but the feel of her skin against mine was enough to make me do anything to get that feeling again. I quickly crossed to my seat and revved up the engine.

Speeding down the highway toward Port Angeles, Bella's hand was becoming very tempting. My hand had made several attempts to take hold of hers, but every time, my mind beat it back down. It seemed like she too wanted to move but instead, she fidgeted nervously, not making conversation. Finally, it became too much for me and I lightly fingered her hand. A smile crossed her face and her fingers intertwined with my own, our palms lying against each others. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment but didn't say anything, just enjoying the comfortable silence that had blown the awkwardness away. We didn't need to speak.

An hour long drive was only forty-five minutes long with my speeding and we made it to Bella Italia. I wished that I would have been able to make reservations at a nicer restaurant, but this was the best I could do in such short notice. I stepped out of the car and ran to Bella's before she got the chance to open it herself. When it clicked open, she smiled sheepishly and removed her hand from the door handle. She stepped out and I took another inappropriate peek at her legs. They just looked so smooth, so touchable.

Leading her in, an older female hostess smiled kindly at us and led us to the back table I had requested earlier that week. I thanked god for the older couple that owned the restaurant and that there were no boys here to try to flirt with Bella. Knowing her luck, she would attract every single guy from school that had interests in her. I wouldn't have handled that well.

Bella took her seat and closed her eyes. I watched as her nose wrinkled slightly as she sniffed the air. I did the same, curious as to what she smelled and immediately took in the rich scent of tomatoes and garlic. In a teasing tone, I asked, "Smell anything good?" She blushed but smiled and nodded.

"Yes, the ravioli smells good tonight." I laughed as did she and took hold of her hand. She grinned at my move and turned her palm up. "Thank you Edward. This is wonderful." I smiled and scooted my chair closer to hers. Just the warmth that emanated from her drew me in, pulling me. When the hostess came back, she took our drink and food orders and left us to talk.

"Bella, you look lovely tonight." She allowed her hair to fall in her face, covering her heavy blush and murmured, "You're biased." I shook my head.

"That may be so, but I don't think so. I believe every man on a date in this restaurant would believe so as well." Her fading blush came back full force and I allowed my hand to gently drift across her cheek to feel the warmth. "I love that blush," I whispered. "It's the only thing that gives you away. The only thing that I can read. You are still a mystery to me, Isabella." Her cheek leaned into my touch and her eyelashes gently brushed against my palm. So beautiful…

The hostess brought us our food moments later, grinning happily at the sight of us. Before she turned away, she whispered in my ear, "That girl's a keeper. You better not let her go. She loves you, she does." She winked before leaving us be. I stared in awe at what she said. Bella _loved _me? Part of me was ecstatic, but the other part, the more rational side, said it was illogical that she would so soon. While my feelings had been brewing for weeks, turning from a simmer of lust to a boiling heap of much more passionate, heart-filled emotions, hers had barely come to view. The thought of her possibly loving me in the eyes of others gave me hope, though.

"What did she say?" Bella asked curiously. I blinked in surprise, having been so lost in my own thoughts that I almost didn't hear her perfect alto voice. I forced my tone to become teasing. "Oh, she just said that because of you, most of the girls in the restaurants are leaving. They're getting jealous that their dates are a bit distracted." She glared playfully at me.

"Oh please. If they are jealous at all, it's because I have the most handsome date in the house," she retorted. And then her hand flew to her mouth at what she said. But I wouldn't let it go.

"Oh, most handsome date, hm? Is that really what you think, Ms. Swan?" She glared at me in an attempt to cover her embarrassment and scoffed. "Oh please, as if you don't already know that you dazzle the pants off half the girls you meet." I blinked, surprised. I _dazzled _people?

Not hearing a response, Bella's unseeing gaze widened and stared at me incredulously. "You really _didn't know that_?"

"Well, now I do. But I think the question is, do I dazzle _you_?" We had unconsciously been leaning toward each other the entire time and our mouths were oh so close to each other. I could nearly taste her on my breath. A breathy whisper came from her mouth. "Frequently."

Dinner continued without any disturbances and when it was time to leave, I wrapped my coat around Bella. The air had chilled slightly and held a strange feeling that made me anxious. I got her to the car and was just about to open the door when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello Edward, it's been so long." I spun around and met a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me. A smirk covered her face.

"Tanya," I gasped.

**BEWARE THE LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry guys…no, that's not a good enough apology. I grovel at the feet of my loyal readers and reviewers in hope that they will forgive me for my deadening updating. There, that's better. I can explain, but I fear you all won't like the explanation. …well, here it goes.**

**I feel sorry for school. It gets blamed for things that aren't its fault, much like hormones. I procrastinated and I screwed up and now I feel really bad. But I am trying to update more. **

**I would like to point out that I will be updating Isabella Marie Swan Volturi much more often though. I need to catch up. But this story will still be updated as frequently as is humanly possible for me. I do still have two weeks on first semester left after Christmas break and those two weeks will be filled with exams and studying for said exams. **

**Ok, I have a few more things to say. If you have submitted a word in the past that I haven't put in a chapter for the word challenge, please PM/message me with the word and your Penname in this format.**

**Challenge Word- Penname**

**Meaning of Word if necessary**

**Comment if necessary**

**Anyway, that'll make it bunches easier for me. Okay, next note. **

**I have written several one shots recently and I ask that you read them. One is called ****The Last Night**** and the other is called ****Lips of an Angel****. The latter isn't my favorite one shot ever, but I did okay…I think. Please read and review them. Also, please read Isabella Marie Swan Volturi. I mean, I have way less reviews and readers for that one and I was kind of hoping you all would give it a chance. I really like that one. I feel like the characters are much more in character. **

**And I will soon be posting a new story called Human Trafficking. But I am prewriting it so that there will be no trouble with lack of updating. It'll be up soon. **

**Oh yeah, and my sister wants me to co write a story with her. So that'll probably be up soon too. Ok, one last thing.**

**!!!CALLING ALL NEW YORKERS AND MANHATTANITES!!!**

**I NEED people to tell me where normal, middle class families live and what occupations they normally have. And normal information like what schools exist in those areas and things like that. It is much appreciated.**

**Oh crap, my mom's coming. Gotta go! **

**Sincerely Yours,**

**Sovoyita **


	20. Chapter 16: Not So Sorry

**A/N**: I know, I know. "Why do you take so freaking long to update?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Why are you ranting on with hypothetical questions that are meant to represent the reader's thoughts when you should be writing the next chapter?" Trust me, all these things went through my mind too. To tell you all the truth, the reason it took me so long…is at the bottom of the page. Read the chapter first. PARTIAL INSPIRATION FOR THIS CHAPTER IS BY: HEDLEY, SHE'S SO SORRY

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or its characters.

**CHAPTER 18: NOT SO SORRY**

**BPOV**

The voice was clear and musical, a voice to be jealous of. I recognized the name as it slipped off Edward's tongue and it forced heat to flash through my veins. Ten minutes. Ten minutes Edward had spent telling me about this girl and how she had hurt him. Ten minutes Edward had spent giving me reasons to hate this girl. Ten minutes of my life were being wasted now as the awkward silence passed over us, and Tanya stood there, not speaking but probably smiling at Edward flirtatiously, probably like every other girl in the restaurant had.

My blood boiled and I clutched the open car door tightly in my hand. Without a word, I slammed it shut, ignoring the laugh I heard come from Tanya's mouth. I listened carefully.

"What, you're not going to welcome your _girlfriend _to town?" Tanya purred with a hint of dark humor in her voice, allowing it to slip through her teeth with ease. How could she even stand there knowing what she had done to Edward, _my Edward?_ She couldn't have _not _felt the guilt, could she?

"What are you doing here, Tanya?" Edward hissed, his voice dark. I had never heard him speak that way to anyone and it scared me slightly. I had only heard two other people speak in that manner before and neither had the same grace and eloquent conversational skills as Edward. A tinkling laugh that I wanted to call a cackle broke through the air and I winced. Yes, I knew that the bell like sound wasn't _anything _like a cackle, but calling it that made me feel better. Just her voice was beautiful and I could only imagine what she looked like. It angered me how someone so beautiful could have been so cruel.

"Edward, I'm here to see _my boyfriend_, the one who left without a single word to me. Besides, dad had a business meeting in Seattle. I just happened to see you walking out of the restaurant with your," she sniffed snootily, "_date_." I growled under my breath and ground my teeth together. "You sure know how to choose them, don't you Edward? I mean, honestly, blind? A bit of a damsel-in-distress complex you have there if I do say so myself." And I nearly lost it. Instead of saying anything, I knocked on the window. What else was I supposed to do? Go out there and defend myself against an ex-girlfriend that was delusional? No, I couldn't do that for one reason that had nothing to do with her.

Not once did Edward deny her accusations of him being her boyfriend and vice-versa.

That stung deeply, like salt on an open wound. Tears stung my eyes and I wanted to curl up under a rock and hide like a hermit crab. I bit my tongue, hard, when Edward opened his door and slid in before closing it quietly and driving off, not saying a single word.

--

The silence was forced. Edward would clamp his mouth shut with a snap every few minutes after taking a deep breath and would start the process over again and again. I didn't have anything to say. It didn't take a genius to know where this was going. He was going to leave me for her because he realized what he had left behind in Denali. He left behind a possible future, a girl that was worthy of him and would be able to contribute to the relationship better than a blind girl that was dependent him.

He remembered a possible future without me in it.

I was an idiot for believing he would want me! Honestly, what was I thinking? That this would be a Cinderella story and the charming prince would save me from my life? Please, that was hardly logical and just spewed nonsense. My life before Edward had been lonely and depressing to think about, but I could cope. I had before and I could do it again. As my contingency plans raced through my head, Edward's car pulled to a stop. I didn't say anything and opened my door before he could get it. He wouldn't be here for long anyway. I might as well get used to doing this kind of thing without him. Most likely out of pity, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into a doorway. From the moment I had climbed the steps of the porch, I knew it wasn't my house. The steps to my front door were shorter and wider. I recognized these steps as those of Edward's house and immediately put myself on alert.

He was bringing me hear to reject me in front of his family so I wouldn't make a scene. And possibly so Charlie wouldn't shoot him at my house. The thought made me angry, angry at myself for making me believe that we had something. What kind of person was I to stop him from living a normal life without the baggage of my own past? I was nothing but a nuisance for allowing myself to infiltrate his life.

It didn't take long to find myself on the familiar feeling couch. The forced silence that was begging to be broken shook under the pressure of Edward's hesitance. I didn't have anything to say. My own breath quieted as Edward blew out of his mouth and a sound escaped the back of his throat, the beginning of a word –

The doorbell rang and I heard the click of shoes against the floor. A door opened and suddenly, the air was tense and anxiety filled. The smell from earlier, the perfectly sweet smell that reminded me of sweet peas drifted around me. Her heels clicked against the floor loudly in an even rhythm with every step she took and I knew that she was coming to stake her claim on him. She was coming to show that _she _was in command of me and that I could do nothing to stop her. I was just the blind gazelle pretending to be a tiger. She knew that and she had come here to take everything right before throwing the massacred remains of her meal in my face and torturing me.

Edward sighed beside me before I felt his weight shift on the couch, causing me to sink in a bit. "I'll be back in just a moment. I promise." 'I promise' my ass.

**EPOV**

I was seething. No, seething wasn't a strong enough word. Whatever I was, it wasn't good. Tanya, the one person that I hadn't truly thought about since I met Bella, was here, now. But apparently, just the fact that she had ruined my evening as well as Bella's, that was enough to turn my blood to ice.

Tanya had been a good person, always polite and respectable and understanding. But something happened a few months before I saw her cheating on me with Laurent. She had become much clingier, more like the girls here in Forks than herself. At first, I thought maybe she had been trying to show me something, something I was missing. But after setting my mind to finding out what it was, I couldn't figure it out. Leave it to the naivety of a teenage male's mind to figure out that his girlfriend wants to take the next step in the relationship, the one step he is unwilling to climb because he believes in sex _after _marriage.

She smirked at me, trying her best to hold my gaze with the blue eyes I used to love to see, but it wasn't working anymore. They were now cold and more like ice than the ocean water. The Ice Queen would have been jealous of her steely gaze.

"Well Edward, it was a bit of a surprise to see you there at the restaurant. I honestly didn't expect you to move on so fast. For you, that would even seem, promiscuous?" She smiled coyly, her ruby red lips lifting at the corners in a way that was demeaning.

"Yes, I'm sure two years of wait would definitely be promiscuous of me. Maybe I should take a look at your book. What was the total last time, a couple different men a day?" I said sarcastically and with venom as her gaze faltered for a mere second before returning to a falsely confident look. I knew the way I was behaving was off from what she had ever seen from me. Around her, I was always the gentlemen, treating her like a lady, but she was no longer the lady I thought she was.

She looked down, her blonde hair tied into a French twist and only slightly falling around her face as she stared at the ground.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just…I needed to feel something and Laurent had always been there, saying that he would always be there for me and I just wanted to be comforted, to know I was beautiful and that I was worth it. Please, just forgive me. Maybe we can start back where we cut off." The voice in which she was speaking was soft and almost agonizing to listen to. I was tempted to hold her, even if I didn't care about her romantically anymore. She had been my first love (though I admit now that that was never truly love) and I felt that I owed her something in the very least for the time she gave. Little did I know that as soon as I came forward, she would throw herself at me.

Teeth bumped against my own while she pressed her lips readily to my own. Nothing registered in my except for one person: Bella. How could I do this to her? Allowing another woman to kiss me while my love waited inside for me to fulfill my promise. And her silence from when we left the restaurant, the pained and frozen expression on her face as I drove and tried to force myself to speak…

Reality hit me like many things could at that moment. I realized that I _wanted _for someone to hit me with a battering ram at this moment for having not realized what was wrong with Bella. Did she think that I was leaving her or that I would go back to Tanya? No, she couldn't have thought that. Not when I had specifically told her that my past was the past and there was no way I would ever go back to it to dwell in the memories. No, she couldn't believe that…

But who was I kidding? Bella's low self-esteem and the inability to see my expressions put together were a horrible combination that only led to self-destruction. She heard what Tanya had said. She knew that I didn't disagree with Tanya's accusations for one reason: if I even spoke beyond what my mind could conjure up, I'm sure that someone would have called the police for them to pick up the raging teenager outside the restaurant because he was disturbing the peace with his unclean mouth.

I pushed Tanya away from me quickly, not even a second passing after she had first placed them on mine. How dare she use sympathy to try and get me back!

"Tanya, I didn't say it before but I feel the need to make myself clear. We are through! I'm not taking you back after all that you've done, all that you've lied about. Now you have Laurent. Go to him and tell him how you were _so sorry. _Please, the only thing you're sorry about was getting caught in the act." She just stared at me with a pout and wide yet icy eyes, eyes that held no sorrow but rather, a vengeance.

"But Edward, I meant it. I know it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it but Laurent was a last resort! You had been getting distant and weren't even listening to me half the time. I just thoug –" the cracking of rocks cut her off.

"Don't you dare blame this on Edward," whispered Bella, her arms shaking at her sides, her dress swaying lightly as the cool breeze blew through the trees. Her eyes, despite her disability, were focused solely on the evil being before me, unwavering and so confident, so unlike the Bella I knew. But, I found that amongst this confident gaze was something I loved. The fire, the pure defiance that seemed to rage through her veiled eyes, was burning, flaring up at me in a way that had me nearly sweating. I wanted to beg her, plead to her for forgiveness for the mistakes I had made. The air of authority made me feel as if she was my queen and I was nothing but a servant to her, a measly existence that would serve her for eternity just because he wanted to be ruled by her and her alone.

The innocent gaze that Tanya had been sporting was long gone and replaced with a smirk and angry eyes.

"Oh, look at who it is. So, did Edward tell you yet?" I looked to her, confused.

"Tell her what exactly?" Tanya smiled proudly, as if she had just discovered something great and unimaginable.

"Oh, just that we're getting back together." My eyes shot to Bella where the fire was still burning, smoldering and flaming hot bluish black flames. I could hardly see the warm brown in her eyes anymore. The light from the house emitted an orange light that glared off of Bella's dark eyes, leaving them startlingly fierce looking, like those of a wild jaguar.

"Bella, she's lying, I swear. I would nev –" she cut me off with a mere wave of her hand. She stepped up to Tanya, standing two inches shorter and only a foot away from her. Tanya's personal space had been invaded and it looked as though she wanted to move back but couldn't.

"Is that so, _Tanya_?" Tanya smirked again with a triumphant look on her face. She had gotten Bella to react negatively to her statement and now she was going to back up her answer in the only way she knew how: to lie.

But just as she was about to open her mouth, a loud resounding crack echoed through the air and a loud, wailing cry could be heard. Had I not been watching closely, I wouldn't have seen Bella's fist lift up and hit Tanya directly in the nose.

"You bitch! Oh god, you broke my nose!" Bella stepped away from the hunched over Tanya and walked towards the house. Over her shoulder, she called out, "Make sure to tell your lawyer that the girl who punched you was blind. I'm sure that anyone who works for you needs a good laugh."

--

Unsurprisingly, Tanya didn't call her lawyers. She was embarrassed enough as it was and when Carlisle drove her to the hospital, she wouldn't even look at me. When I walked into the house, it seemed that the mood had lifted substantially from earlier. Esme had a little skip in her step and Alice was practically full out dancing throughout the house. Jasper was humming quietly as he read over a few documents on the table and Rosalie's foot was lightly going along with an unheard beat as she read a fashion magazine and twirled a strand of hair around her thin finger. The only person I couldn't see was Bella.

Esme snuck up on me to put a hand on my shoulder.

"She's in your room. That girl, I don't know her very well but I know this. She makes you happy and that's all that matters." She looked up at me with understanding but sad eyes. "For a girl who has lost so much, she sure does light up the house, doesn't she?" I nodded knowingly, a smile coming to my face. Esme handed me a tray I hadn't noticed her holding and ushered me up the stairs.

My mind raced as I stood outside the door. What should I say? What could I do to make this better? There was really only one way to find out. I turned the knob and made my way in awkwardly, balancing the tray on one hand.

Bella was lying on her back on the floor, staring unseeing at the light above her.

"I come baring gifts," I said playfully though the moment seemed all too intimate for any playfulness. Bella was lying on _my _floor, her dress sliding up her thigh and her long legs bare for me to see. Damned hormones were getting to me. I sat on the floor beside her, laying the tray of crackers, cheese and fruit down carefully.

"You know what I miss most about being able to see?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It's not really the ability but rather, it's the people and things I love that I wish I could see. If I were able to see them, I feel like I can appreciate them so much more for who they are because even the way they look is apart of them. And if I could see them, maybe they would feel some sort of reassurance. They would know that I wouldn't be leaning on them for support and they'd know that my love for them wasn't based solely on my disability. I miss that more than anything else." There was sadness in her voice and I longed to hold her, to comfort her and prove to her that everything would be okay.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't think Tanya would follow us home or that she would be at the restaurant. Just please don't believe that I would ever leave you for her. I would never fall for her again." Bella shook her head, closing her eyes and not allowing me to see them.

"Edward, surprisingly, it's not Tanya. It's everyone else." I stared, confused by what she meant. Hadn't this all been about Tanya?

"Don't give her so much credit. Not only does she not deserve it but she's not the only girl out there than can steal you from me." I opened my mouth to protest but she placed her fingers to my face until they touched the very corner of my lips. She had missed her target. I smiled.

"Don't argue with me. Just listen." I nodded, my lips still covered by her two delicate fingers. The smell of her skin was drifting up to my nose and driving me crazy. "You may not see it now, but if you haven't noticed, girls are willing to do everything in their power to get you. Apparently, your presence in this town has greatly increased the libido of nearly fifty percent of the female population." I chuckled onto her fingers while she struggled to keep a straight face. "So when you realize there is so much more out there other than the blind girl and that you want someone else, please," she begged lightly, her eyes wide and innocent. "Please don't lie to me, okay? If you don't tell me and let things continue to dwell on, I don't think we could ever even remain friends after that. And this is no time to be self-sacrificing. If you stop liking me, please swear to me that you will leave me. If my blindness was the only reason why you felt the need to stay behind, I would never be able to forgive myself." Tears escaped her eyes and my fingers lifted automatically to wipe them dry. She leaned into my touch and I held her.

"But I only want you," I murmured into her hair, holding her tightly to my chest in hope that maybe this was all a dream but also denying myself the idea that any of this could be fiction.

"For now," she replied sadly. Angry at Tanya for forcing the love of my life to doubt her hold on me, I tightened my hold on her.

"I suppose I'll have to prove to you that you are the only one that will _ever _capture my interest. No one will ever have chained me as you have." I felt her smile against my chest and I lifted her head up to meet my gaze.

"Time sounds like a good idea." She smiled up at me as I leaned in to kiss her. Just as my lips touched hers in the sweetest tasting kiss I would ever experience, we were interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I groaned against her lips while she laughed and pulled away, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket for me and answering it.

"Hey Emmett, guess what?" She smirked at me, a glint in her eyes. "I just punched a blonde in the face."

**A/N (READ THIS NOW)**: I'm done! Okay, excuses, excuses, excuses, I know. You all must be annoyed with me by now. But I swear that I don't intentionally do this to you all. Contrary to common belief, I hate making you all wait. I just wish that my mind could send all the words I want to type out to the computer and it would just write itself. Things would be so much easier. Okay, time for the excuses.

One: Life in general. I now take pre-calculus (it sounds hard too). For those of you who don't know, I suck at math but I have to pass this in order to go to UIL. Mr. Hooper is counting on me to lead my section properly.

Two: Stress. Stress is a huge thing for me. I really didn't know that it ruled my life that much until after the new semester started. When pre-cal started, things started changing. I started breaking out, my insomnia got worse and I found I couldn't sleep properly, my hair started splitting at the ends all the way to the roots, my skin problem (a type of psoriasis/dandruff on my scalp) came back, my weight loss has been at a stand still, and I got the flu because it feels like my immune system has given up on me. And what's worse is that because of all this stuff, I feel like crap..all the time. Plus I have this rash thing on my collar bone that starts itching and turning red every time I get nervous. That's annoying.

Three: My laptop has a virus. My computer automatically picks up my home's wireless signal so whenever it isn't fully disconnect (that takes awhile to do by the way), pop ups start attacking me, asking if I want to find an adult friend in the Edinburg area or if I want to buy Viagra. To both those questions, I have to say no but they keep coming back full force. The techs as school didn't get rid of the virus when I brought it in to them so I'm going to have to wait for awhile before they can just reset my computer.

So there you have it. Things suck right now. I'm tired and haven't slept for approximately 17 hours. Mood is….eh. **But I'm freaking proud of this chapter! **I like that Bella punched a blonde in the face! I'm glad they the two lovers have come to a strange understanding! I'm glad a blonde got punched in the face! I'm glad that Bella is doubting the relationship between herself and Edward (it's realistic..by the way, I'd like to thank all my blind and visually impaired readers for giving me advice. Without your approval, this story wouldn't mean nearly as much to me as it does now)! I'm glad (not Hefty)! Oh, and hopefully you all will notice the subtle hintings that Bella left for Edward ("It's not really the ability but rather, it's the people and things I **love** that I wish I could see.")

I'll try my best to update sooner next time, but it depends on how things are going in my life. I have a concert this Thursday and I have to play my solo (talk about nerve wracking). Anyway, **REVIEW!!!!**

Oh yeah, for those of you who haven't looked at my profile or don't have me on author alert, I'd just like to let you know that I have a few other stories out that you may or may not know about that I would appreciate if you read them. Here they are:

**Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like an Amber Alert (funniest story I've ever written)**

**Human Trafficking (becoming a big hit with the reviewers of rated M stories)**

**Isabella Marie Swan Volturi (will sometimes be referred to as IMSV)**

**Two Minutes to End, Two Minutes to Begin (not my favorite story ever but I still like it)**

And there's more for anyone who cares to know!


	21. Chapter 17: It's Never Enough

**A/N**: Long story short, I'm exhausted and feel like I need a nap, but I can't sleep until I wash all my laundry and make my bed (for a reason that is totally beyond me seeing as I'm just going to go back to bed again). Enjoy the chapter and I'll see you at the bottom of the page.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Twilight characters. I just use my overly active imagination and say, "Dance, my puppets, dance!" And, oh they are so obedient (and I'm so lame). Anyway, Stephenie Meyer owns (and powns) all.

**IT'S NEVER ENOUGH**

"Ow, that hurts," I exclaimed loudly, unable to hold back. I tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let me go.

"That's what you get for going out and punching someone. Besides, the way you closed your fist was incorrect. You're supposed to close in your thumb before you let loose," Carlisle explained calmly, his gentle fingers wrapping bandages around my knuckles and wrist. Diagnosis: two broken knuckles along with a very swollen pinkie finger.

"But you've got to admit Dad; she's got an awesome right hook." Edward's fingers gently cupped my chin, lifting my lips towards his and meeting them together. As embarrassing for it was to kiss him in front of his father, I couldn't find the will to pull away. A click and a groan from Edward was what I heard next, along with a few giggles from Alice.

"Alice, give me that camera!" Edward's shoes padded against the floor while Alice's heels clicked as she made her way down the stairs, Edward at her heels. I laughed, a blush on my face, knowing that if Emmett saw that, he would be red with embarrassment and possibly anger. Carlisle chuckled along with me, his hands still steadily wrapping the bandages around my wrist and gluing them gently in place.

"There, all done. Now, Tylenol is all I'm willing to give for now. They should help." I nodded gratefully and stood from my chair, nearly stumbling over my unbalanced feet before catching myself on the chair. I could practically feel Carlisle's hands at my side, ready to catch me, but I shook my head to deny them. I turned towards him and decided now was the best time to question him. "Carlisle, can we talk?"

"Of course, Bella. What would you like to talk about?" He seemed surprised, but nonetheless didn't express it outwardly. I thanked goodness he was a psychiatrist that was used to this kind of thing (though he admitted that, off the record, he had never had a blind patient before). I sighed and "looked" down at the floor in embarrassment.

"Well, you never exactly told me about my diagnosis. Well, I just wanted to…I mean –oh never mind. Don't worry about it. I'd better head downstairs," I said, embarrassed at my inability to stop talking and began walking towards the stairs, only to have Carlisle stop me from leaving.

"Bella, it's fine. It's normal for patients to want to know the results. Of course, I would like to explain it to you a bit before I actually tell you. And, I must be blunt about it. No sugar-coating. Is that alright?" I nodded, eagerly. Carlisle chuckled while heat invaded my cheeks and I sat down on my chair, ready to hear more.

"Well Bella, for me to create a diagnosis, it takes time and a lot more information than most people thinks. I can't just form a hypothesis based on a full story. I have to know how the person acts, how they react, and how they would function in a stressful situation. Sometimes, it seems impossible because the patient won't open up or they feel the need to hold it all in until it explodes."

_Like me._

"It was incredibly difficult for me to come up with a diagnosis for you and to decide whether or not I could interfere with your condition. You have much more baggage than normal patients do, so I had to be delicate with the situation. With you, I had to take into account that your past is much more…traumatic, than those patients I've had before and that you actually have a reason for being the way you are, though that is not an excuse. And so, with careful watch and now that I have your history, I have made the diagnosis." Despite all that he was saying, I wasn't nearly as eager as I had been. In fact, I almost wanted to tell him to stop, to not continue. My stomach was churning painfully, lifting something up my throat to break off any deep breaths that may have calmed me.

"You have a mild version of PSTD, without most of the symptoms and you suffer from depression. As for the PSTD, it seems that you, unlike many patients, have discovered a way to avoid any of the symptoms, but by doing so, you have blocked yourself off very well. And, as a result, a…proverbial wall seems to have protected you from everything. Edward stated before that you told him everything, how you hadn't told anyone.

"Bella, holding in things like that, stressful things, it isn't healthy. I'm sure someone has told you that before, but I'm hoping you will take it to heart this time. By doing so, you have mentally and physically exhausted yourself. I'm sure that not even _I _could handle that, much less you, a teenage girl with blindness to boot."

I nodded thoughtfully. Things could have been a heck of a lot worse. He could have told me that there was no diagnosis and I was a mental disaster that needed to be institutionalized immediately.

"So, what do you recommend, Carlisle?" He sighed. I heard the crinkling of his perfectly starched shirt. Perhaps he was cleaning off his glasses.

"I try to avoid prescribing medication in my practice. I will avoid it with you, despite your diagnosis. I don't believe anti-depressants are good for the body, _anyone's _body, and so I only prescribe medications to those who have suffered from very strong bouts of depression. It would be unfair of me to prescribe them to you. Anti-depressants are dangerous and they change you. You wouldn't be yourself anymore, and I fear that by prescribing them to you, more than one person will be hurt at the thought of losing a loved one."

His stare burned me painfully in my chest. All I could do was nod to Carlisle in agreement. Edward was the main objective in both of our minds at this time. Charlie would go along with anything that would rid me of my depression and Emmett would follow Charlie's example, unsure of what he could do. And though the rest of the Cullen family was now something of a family to me (though I didn't truly know them all that well), the only one who would truly be devastated if I were to change was Edward.

He had proclaimed that he liked me the way I was, that he was just fine with the blindness and the baggage that I carried constantly over my shoulder. He had even offered to carry some of it for me. But I couldn't help but think back to our conversation in his room. I had almost cracked under the pressure of the moment and the girl that I had just damaged. While the latter had almost made me giddy with anger and mixed happiness and adrenaline, I could help but feel sorrow towards Tanya. The only causes for her behavior that I could think of was that either she had been a very spoiled child and had learned that she could get everything she wanted, she had a very high libido and she really did feel she needed to have Edward to make the feeling pass, or she was insecure that Edward had denied her and she needed to feel the need from him. The third option made the most sense to me.

The point was I had almost proclaimed to Edward that I loved him, that I was unable to get him out of my heart and mind, and that I wanted to _see him_. And that could have been catastrophic.

It wasn't that I didn't want him to know. No, I wanted to yell it to the stars until the gods heard me. But I knew that if I were to tell him, he would do the one rational thing he could do. He would run from me. Such was the nature of teenage boys who were in a relationship. They weren't sure and they wanted to take things slowly in the emotions area while things in the physical area were speeding up progressively. Of course, Edward didn't seem very normal in that way. And I had to take into my mind that he, at one point, had enjoyed activities with the other girls of Forks. The talk I had heard from the others always echoed in my ears, telling my mind not to trust him while another part of me, the part that seemed to always make the irrational decisions, told me to let him in, to tell him everything and never let him go.

Of course, it was all irrational and incredibly idiotic of me to even think I could stoop to that level of intimacy and confidence. I was neither confident nor that physically appealing. My blandness was my downfall. I had nothing to offer him that even displayed an air of peculiarity and amazing-ness.

So, if I were to be cured of my depression through medication, would Edward like the difference it made? Would he see me as more confident, more appealing to his already slightly inflated ego (which had been established through the years of praise he had gotten from the girls of this town)? Or would he find the fact that I took medication disturbing and repulsive? I was opposed to changing myself for him, to altering my being to keep him with me, but I felt I had to. This was something small I could do for him, change my personality for him to want to stay with me.

But then I shot back from that idea. That would be trying to keep him with me. What he wanted to leave and hadn't really thought this whole thing through? I couldn't _not _let him think about this. I would wait for him to decide. If he still wanted to stay with me, then I would discuss with him the options. Then and only then would I consider the medication.

"What's wrong with Bella? Bella, love, are you alright?"

"Huh?" I shook my head to clear it, now completely aware of the smooth voice I was hearing.

"Bella, I was calling you for a few minutes. It seems you spaced out for a bit," Carlisle said humorously, chuckling lightly. I felt a shock cross my skin as nimble fingers ran over my neck and up my jaw, a thumb pressing lightly into the expanse of skin beneath my ear.

"Are you alright?" Edward whispered, his breath fanning across my cheek. I was hyperaware of his presence now, I had been for weeks. The feeling that had begun overcoming me was overwhelming, a raging storm that had knocked away my only consciousness and left me drowning in everything and nothing. And for once, despite all that I had been through, I wanted nothing more for him to drown me, to pull me under the waves of happiness, anxiety, nervousness, and unworthiness, and to just love me like I loved him. Underneath it all, I knew that it was impossible. Had it been under different circumstances, maybe he would have loved me. Had I not been blind, maybe he would have seen that I was _possibly _worthy of his love. But with this damned blindfold over my eyes, I wasn't worthy of him.

"So, what were you just saying, Dad?" Confused, I looked up at Edward, hoping he would repeat what I'm sure he said in my brain's absence. I should have remembered never to get so lost in my own thoughts when Edward was around. Who knew how much time I had left with him?

"Well, I was trying to explain to Bella….well, actually, it's her decision whether or not she wants you here when we discuss it. Bella?" I nodded.

"Edward can stay. This affects him too," I said.

"As I thought," Carlisle replied with a smile in his voice. "We were just discussing her diagnosis and what we could do to counteract it. And what I've hypothesized is that though anti-depressants are normally called for in these situate –" He was cut off by Edward's outburst.

"Absolutely not! You know what those _things _do to people, Carlisle. I refuse to allow her to take them," Edward nearly shouted, his breath coming out heavily.

"Edward," Carlisle sighed tiredly. "If you would have let me finish, you would have known that Bella and I have both decided that medication wouldn't be the best option in this case. So, what I've decided is that maybe a bit of closure would be the best under these particular circumstances. I believe a trip to the optometrist is in order here." Immediately, my head shot up in surprise.

The _optometrist_? My mind couldn't really wrap around the idea. I mean, I had been blind for a year, therefore, my eyes were practically a dead sense to me now. So why would I need to go to the eye doctor now that I had been terminally blind for so long?

As if answering my unspoken question, Carlisle continued. "Bella, I looked over your medical reports, with your father's permission of course. It seems that after the accident, you remained in the hospital for two weeks before you were able to go home. After that, there are no records of you actually going back. No visits to the optometrist for them to check into your eyes, no appointments made with specialists, nothing. As per usual, there are usually several follow up visits to ensure that health is at its best, but in your case, there is nothing more than the hospital visit and that's it."

I nodded. I knew all this. Renee had sheltered me so much after the accident that I hadn't really even thought about going in to the doctor. The skin around my eyes had felt so tight and painful after the accident that I just wore a bandage for several weeks afterward until I had grown accustomed to the feeling of skin stretching. The doctors had said that the skin would heal well and that the scars would hardly be visible. But they never said anything about a return visit. Now that I thought about it, that should have been one of the first things they said when I had checked out.

"Carlisle, what could the optometrist possibly tell her? That's she's blind? I don't think it needs to be brought up any longer. Besides, it doesn't matter to anyone whether or not she is blind. We will all care for her either way," Edward said with a sense of sureness in his voice.

"That's not what I meant, Edward. Of course we'd still care for her, even if she wasn't blind. But the thing is, there is a difference between knowing your blind and knowing whether or not you can be cured of your blindness. In Bella's case, it may be too late due to the damage her eyes may have suffered after the accident. Her medical reports say that got glass in her eyes, but technology and procedures have greatly increased in efficiency in recent years. There may be a way to save her eyes. This is the closure she may need to let the past go."

Edward was silent and I was closely in tune to his breathing. It had gotten slow and quiet, more so than usual. I almost wondered aloud my question of whether he was alright but was quickly stopped by Edward's whisper.

"Bella, did you know about this?" I was taken aback by the question. I had to clear my head before replying.

"Well, yes, it was something I looked into at the beginning but I never really thought much of it. I was told that the chance of my eyes working again was slim. I didn't want to take that risk, especially since newer, more accurate procedures are coming out every day. If I had the surgery and things didn't go….well, I wouldn't have another chance to take. That would be it for me."

"But, you didn't even think to tell me, to discuss it with me?" He sounded so hurt, but underneath his words shone out anger, anger at me for not telling him. Angrily, I retorted.

"Yes, I thought about it, but I didn't think it mattered. I've come to live with it and I didn't think you needed to know."

"Bella, this involves us both, as you said earlier. I would have wanted to know. Everything that concerns you, I want to know. Especially when it comes to getting rid of the problem."

"It doesn't matter Edward because I'm not going to go. I'm not going to get your hopes up for nothing. It isn't worth it."

"Bella, this is your sight that we're talking about, not just _nothing_. It is worth at _least _a few hours of our time."

I felt something burning behind my eyes, and I quickly bit back the lump that had formed in my throat. Who had I been kidding other than myself? It all made sense now.

"I knew it," I muttered as I stood from my seat and began walking out the door. My hand still aching, I avoided touching the wall with my right hand to the rail as I climbed down the stairs from Carlisle's office.

"Bella, where are you going? We're not done yet!" Edward's feet thumped against the carpet of the hall as he followed me down the stairs but I ignored him despite the pain in my chest.

"I'm done, Edward. I should have known it wouldn't be enough. I should have known that I was being an idiot to think it was even close to enough." My mutterings were heard by Edward and whoever was walking past the stairwell. With every word, my volume increased.

"Emmett," I called from the bottom of the staircase. He had arrived shortly after my phone call earlier, his ears eager to hear my story of Tanya's defeat in extreme details.

"Bella, what's not enough? We're talking about your eyes here. Surely you can just wait and thin –" I cut him off.

"Of course I've thought about it! It was all I ever thought about for months after the accident. But I'm not doing it, Edward. I'm not going to get my or your hopes up for nothing."

"Hey, Bells, why are you yelling? I could hear you from Rose's room."

"Take me home, Emmett. I just need to go home."

"No Bella, we need to discuss this," Edward said angrily, his voice raising at me for the first time. Angry and tired of being spoken to in that manner from him, I turned to him.

"It just isn't enough for you, is it? You can't just accept that I'm blind, can you? You were perfectly fine before! When you didn't have the option, you swore you were fine with the fact that I can't see you, but now you are open to me going under the knife to "get rid of the problem"? Well, I'm not doing it. Isn't it enough that I'm willing to do anything else for you? Isn't it enough that I love you?"

With that, I pulled Emmett's large hand with me and dragged him outside, tripping over my own feet, tears pouring down my face. I couldn't hear Edward, but I didn't want to right now. I needed to be alone.

**A/N**: Wow, that was a freakishly short chapter. I'm pretty sure this chapter was one of my shortest, but probably one of the hardest to write. It involves a lot of Bella's internal monologue, a lot of questions, and a lot of angst. Bella is horribly self-loathing in this chapter. Her low self esteem is kind of wracking on my own self esteem. I feel bad about it, but I kind of wish she would just chill out a bit. But you know characters. They just seem to run away with themselves.

Anyway, I'm tired. Pooped. Exhausted. Ready to fall onto my bed and just fall asleep (but not until after my bed is made –rolls eyes-). Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

Oh, and I'd like to thank everyone for the amazing reviews I received for the last chapter. Everyone was very supportive of my problems and just so you all know, I'm doing better. The day after I posted the last chapter, I had a panic attack (not a good thing) but I've gotten better since then. I went to the doctor recently, got some medication because it turns out that there are a couple things wrong with me.

One: I had an ear infection which is all gone now.

Two: I need to get my blood tested to check to see if I have a thyroid condition (weird…what does the thyroid _do_?)

Three: This one is a big one. I'm **anemic.** Turns out that my lack of appetite has affected my blood greatly, therefore leading me to feel sick and occasionally tired.

Four: I lost four pounds (hee hee, this one's a good one)

Five:…. I can't remember what else. Umm…Oh yeah, my insomnia is REAL! I wasn't just making it up in my head in the time that I don't sleep for about two to three days.

Anyway, that's it. I cut my hair too, so I need to update my picture. I'll do it…eventually. So yeah. Thanks for reading and please review!!!

P.S. Please read my other stories if you can. I'm kind of hoping to see how many people I can get to read them and actually like them.


	22. Chapter 18: Burning Man

**A/N**: Hey guys….-hides behind curtain- Long time no see, huh? Ummm…okay, I give up. I'm an asshole for not updating faster. Well, just so you all know, I pretty much punished myself with this chapter. It was super hard to write. It literally burned my fingertips. You'll see why by the end. See you at the bottom of the page.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight.

_Previously on Blinding Lights:_

"_No Bella, we need to discuss this," Edward said angrily, his voice rising at me for the first time. Angry and tired of being spoken to in that manner from him, I turned to him. _

"_It just isn't enough for you, is it? You can't just accept that I'm blind, can you? You were perfectly fine before! When you didn't have the option, you swore you were fine with the fact that I can't see you, but now you are open to me going under the knife to "get rid of the problem"? Well, I'm not doing it. Isn't it enough that I'm willing to do anything else for you? Isn't it enough that I love you?" _

_With that, I pulled Emmett's large hand with me and dragged him outside, tripping over my own feet, tears pouring down my face. I couldn't hear Edward, but I didn't want to right now. I needed to be alone. _

**BURNING MAN**

_**Presently:**_

**EPOV**

The ceiling of my bedroom had never been something I was truly interested in looking at. After all, what could the smooth ceiling possibly hold for me to observe? Truly, nothing. But when I looked at it closely from my floor, I could see her face in the tiny, microscopic bumps, tears running down her cheeks as her filmy eyes swam with tears. The color of it was only a shade lighter than her skin when she left. I remember the skin being nearly as white as the lighter-than-ivory carpet in the stairwell. The blood seemed to have only just begun rushing up her neck by the time she had turned out my front door. It truly was a beautiful color on her…

There was a banging on my door that was infiltrating my mind's confines. It wasn't as irritating as I would have thought it to be. Somewhere, maybe in the back of my mind, I knew I should go and answer the door, just to put an end to the pounding, but I really couldn't. I felt utterly calm, despite the picture that burned behind my eyelids, the picture of the love of my life, crying because of me and my own stupidity and selfishness. At the edge of the sadness I felt within the calm, there was a hint of anger. It was aimed at two people. One, it was aimed at the girl who I would die for. So many secrets held within her barred mind, when would they ever end? When would she trust me enough to let me have access to them? Was it too late now that I had already snapped at her, released my jarred anger at her through my venomous words? Secondly, the anger was aimed at myself. It wasn't hard to see how truly idiotic my choices had been, how I had lost control of myself in front of the woman-child I loved. It wasn't her fault that this had occurred. The fault was to be placed on me and my ignorance. I had always known that I liked being in control of situations. That ensured me that I would never have to worry about things happening against my will anymore.

But when had control turned into a dictatorship in which I had attempted to rule her?

I couldn't answer that. I had never thought of it as me being a tyrant. My only thoughts were of her happiness. Anything that made her happy, I would give to her. If that meant she wanted nothing to do with me, though my heart would break at the mere whisper of those hurtful wishes, I would separate myself from her completely, sever all ties until her life was free of anything that even related to me. Her wish was my mind's demand. I would do everything and anything for her. I would literally take my own life if it made her happy. Anything for her.

A tumbler clicked into place and a little blur of white and black attacked me, tiny fists hitting my chest. I didn't move to protect myself. The little jabs of pain were welcome. I deserved it.

"You idiot! You bastard, I hate you! Why? Why the hell'd you have to screw up? I'm going to kill you!" I could faintly feel the pain begin to ebb away as someone held Alice back, stopping her struggling form by locking her arms down at her sides. I just continued staring up at the ceiling. All I could see was her. She was beautiful, still so beautiful.

"Alice, relax, you need to calm down."

"You better fucking let me go _now_, Jasper. I swear if you don't, there won't be any little Jaspers in the future." There was still no pain. I half expected to hear a grunt of pain from Jasper. There was nothing. No sound except the heavy breathing of Alice and the calming breathing of Jasper.

"Are you done, Alice? Are you really going to hurt me?" Jasper's southern drawl was soothing as well. How strange.

A tiny, slightly aggravated sigh floated through the air. Still no pain; why had it stopped? I deserved it, didn't I?

"I'm fine Jazz. I promise." The next thing I heard was the sound of cloth rubbing against the carpet, the low sound hardly noticeable. A tiny hand touched my arm but I didn't react. It was warm. It reminded me of someone else's hand but it wasn't exactly the same. I didn't like this touch as much as I did the other.

"Edward, look at me. We need to talk." I didn't look for the quiet soprano voice. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. _Her _voice was all I wanted to hear.

"Edward, are you even listening to me?" Alice's voice was annoyed now, edging towards anger again. Jasper pulled her hand back. "Alice, relax," he paused for a moment, his voice becoming softer. "Edward, are you alright? Edward? We need to talk. It's about Bella." I heard a sharp breath being taken in. I didn't realize at first that at that same time, my lungs took constricted painfully. _Her _name, so perfectly fitting for her. So beautiful, just as the Italian translation described.

Hearing it, spoken out loud, it proved to me that this was all really happening. In my thoughts, she seemed to abstract, so translucent and ghost-like. It was as if she hadn't truly existed outside my imagination. Her voice was crafted by my mind, the notes of a piano's ivory keys played so perfectly together that they created an aesthetic sound, so ultimately wonderful that it seemed unreal. No other sound could compare, surely no sound such as that could exist. But now that I had heard her name, it proved to me that she was real. That her tears were real. That her vows of love for me had been real as well. That I truly had lost her.

"Bella," I gasped aloud. I could feel a burning in my eyes, a fire brushing through my chest. Was it possible to feel this much pain? Was it possible to not be dead from this level betrayal? Because that's what I had done. I had betrayed Bella. My promises, whether spoken or unspoken, had been broken. I had hurt her, all because I had selfishly decided that I wanted more. Her blindness was nothing to me. I was in love with _her_, her being, her soul, her heart. Her eyes, though I longed to look into them just as I longed to know every thought she ever had, meant nothing if I didn't have _her_. If she were another body, the body of a beldame or the body of a goddess, I wouldn't care. I wanted her, her inner beauty, more than anything. And I had just destroyed my chances of ever obtaining it.

Sometime while I was lost in my thoughts, I had curled in upon myself, bringing my knees up to my chest, curling my knuckles around them tightly and tearing into the skin through my slacks. I imagined myself looking like a haggard madman, trying to protect himself from being beaten by those who ridiculed him. I was worth just as much. I longed for Jasper and Alice to begin kicking me, hitting me and punishing me for hurting my existence. It seemed to be an inadequate punishment, but I would take it. If anyone else wanted to join them, they were welcome.

"Edward, Edward, it's alright! It's all alright!" Hands were trying to pry my hands away from my legs but I kept them in place as much as I could. When my fingers lost their grip, they flew towards my head and I pulled, the hair growing taut and beginning to snap. It hurt and I wanted more. A more violent, masochistic side of me grinned at the pain I inflicted upon myself. It was telling me that the monster that had ruled my words earlier in the night was now in control and would continue to hurt me until I learned my lesson. It was dominating me, pulling me under its spell. Just like Bella had.

"Esme, Carlisle, help!" I didn't stop, didn't even hear the warning heeded in those words. I just wanted the voice of the beast in my head to get louder until I could hear nothing else. I wanted to hear that voice tearing through my eardrums. The voice sounded so beautiful. It sounded so like her, so like Bella. Of course, I knew that the words that were spilling through the monster's mouth would never even appear on the tongue of my love, but the thought of her screaming at me, torturing me, was so much more pleasurable. Bella was much too pure for such torture. At least it showed me how much she hated me, how passionately she felt for me. Hate was such a passionate emotion, especially for someone as pure as Bella.

"Edward, Edward, let go. No, Edward, listen to me. Please let go. No, don't hurt Alice, Edward. Rosalie, Jasper, grab his legs." The calm yet commanding voice wasn't enough to make me stop. The strength of the hands was barely enough to remove my hands from my hair and pin them to my sides. I thrashed, trying my damndest to continue my self-inflicted torture, but they refused to let me move. I could hear sobbing somewhere nearby, but I couldn't see anything. It felt like a blindfold had been put over my eyes. _How fitting_, I thought thoughtfully. _I will be blind as I punish myself, just like Bella was when I hurt her. _

There was a sharp pain in my arm. I nearly cried in relief. Finally, someone was trying to punish me, just like I deserved. But just moments later, I felt my world begin to spin, the darkness becoming darker and more consuming. The image behind my eyelids became much clearer and Bella's face consumed my every bleary thought.

--

My head and eyes ached, a resonating throbbing sensation pounding into the walls of my mind. I wanted to move, but I felt something holding down my arms and legs. It was chafing into my skin. My mind was blurry and unfocused, like looking through murky water. I tried to listen to the sounds around me. I only heard the quiet breathing of several people. It was enough. Slowly, I allowed my eyelids to open, revealing too bright lights. I blinked and tried to avert my gaze to something less harsh. The first thing I saw was a beautiful yet worn looking face, so kind and so hurt that I frowned. Esme's once-bright hazel eyes were dulled by tear-stains tracked down her cheeks and red, puffy bags beneath her eyes. I hadn't seen her looking this before. She wasn't looking at me. Her gaze was focused solely on her lap, looking at something I couldn't see.

"Mom," I murmured, my throat feeling dry and unused. Her head shot up and her eyes swam with tears again, a few overflowing her lower lids. She leaned forward, her arms wrapping around me as best they could with the restraints that were holding me down. She sobbed into my chest while I listened to her every gasp, feeling every hot tear soak into my shirt, her matronly scent mixed with a familiar powdery aroma caressing my senses. A door creaked open and I saw heard several pairs of feet enter the room. I turned my head only slightly and saw my family, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie, lined up and looking at me with relieved yet wary expressions. Alice's eyes were red and puffy, just like Esme's. Rosalie and Jasper both looked worried, their similar expressions accompanied by relief. Carlisle looked calm, but unsure. Esme lifted her head from my chest, wiping her eyes hastily with the back of her hand, trying to erase the tear trails.

"Hey," I murmured tiredly, my muscles feeling week and jelly-like. "What happened?" Carlisle took a step closer, his expression more resigned now, like he had just made a decision.

"Edward, we had to sedate you. You were having a panic attack. We needed to knock you out for awhile; you were…hurting yourself. The restraints were just a precaution." His expression faltered for a moment, the calmness disappearing just enough to show me how truly worried he had been, how scared.

It wasn't difficult to accept the fact that I had had a panic attack. I should have seen it coming when I started feeling overwhelmed by unnamable emotions and uncontrollable urges. Even now, every time I blinked, I saw a beautiful face of innocence, of pain, and I very nearly wept every time my eyes closed. I shut my eyes, just so I could see the face again.

"Can you please let me go? I need to speak to Bella, immediately. I need to fix this."

"Edward," Jasper began hesitantly, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe you should rest awhile before you talk to her. Just to clear your head." I could practically see Jasper testing the air, looking for any sign of anger or anxiety. He had always had that gift of empathy. He would know if I was feeling anything out of the ordinary, sometimes even better than I could be sure of it.

"This has happened once before, Jasper. I'm in control. I can handle it. It'll be fine," I assured him. I _could_ handle this, despite the shame I felt for not being able to control my emotions. I hadn't meant to hurt them, to scare them so much.

"Edward, if you remember well enough, last time, it wasn't nearly this bad," Carlisle reminded me calmly, his tone setting a leading edge to his words. He was laying down the law for me in a subtle way. I would have gotten mad (my teenage instinct to be outraged was still flowing) but I just felt too tired. My mind wasn't as fuzzy now, but I still felt like things were blurred, covered in cobwebs.

"That's because last time, he wasn't in nearly this deep," Alice reminded them quietly. She caught my shamed gaze and held me there. "It'll be fine, Dad. Besides, Bella's just as bad as he is. She wants to apologize too." My head shook from the hold her gaze had over me and I stared at her incredulously.

"You've spoken to her?" I questioned eagerly. She shook her head, no. "I have a feeling. You and Bella think very alike, Edward. Of course, you both seem to be under very great misconceptions, but still, your minds are alike. I wouldn't be surprised if she is on her way here now." Like clockwork, the doorbell rang below on the first floor. Alice smiled easily, the redness in her eyes disappearing, slowly but surely. Her gaze shifted and locked on the restraints. Her lips turned down in a frown and she went to unbuckle them.

"Despite the fact that you are supposed to be a risk, I doubt you would want to talk to Bella with these on." She removed the bands that had held me down. They turned out to be several thick, leather belts, wrapped carefully around me. The others stood around with unsure expressions on their faces. Jasper was the most apprehensive; his face was set hard, eyes following my expressions. I didn't make any sudden movements. He seemed to be ready for anything, even an attack. I looked to Carlisle as a reassurance and he nodded. Walking around the bed, he wrapped his arm around Esme's waist, pulling her out of the room, patting my arm as he went. Rosalie left with a timid smile directed to me. Carefully, I sat up and looked at Alice again. She seemed much better now, but I still felt horrible. Slowly, I held up my hand for her to touch. Jasper watched the exchange excruciatingly closely. Alice looked at my hand and pushed it away. I tried to hide my hurt but was unable to, seeing as Alice wrapped her arms around my shoulders and squeezed with surprising strength that left my shoulders aching.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her, hoping she would hear the pain in my voice. She nodded against my neck and placed a light kiss atop my head.

"Things will work out," she promised lightly before taking Jasper's hand and pulling him out of the room with her. The door shut behind them quietly. I didn't have to wait long before a quiet knock sounded.

"Come in," I called, unable to make my voice rise any higher. Fear was grasping at my esophagus. But then my breath caught when I saw the face of an angel, her eyes red and puffy, her mouth open as she blew a quiet breath from her mouth.

"Hi Edward."

--

**A/N**: Okay all, I'm exhausted. This is what I'm posting right now before I start up my lab report. Asking for more would just be you all trying to kill me. Seriously, I'm pooped. Now, you all may be wondering where the panic attack came from. Well, the panic attack scene itself was based on reality. My brother had a panic attack like that. Just imagine Carlisle as my dad, Esme as my mom, Rosalie and Jasper as my older sister and my younger brother, and Alice as me. Mind you, we're not pretty enough to take those roles, but still, that's how it happened. My bro didn't exactly hurt a girl though, so yeah. The point is, that's what happened. Don't tell my brother I told you all; he's still pretty sensitive about it. This chapter nearly made me cry. Again, I hate it when characters are in pain. Their pain is my pain.

Anyway, moderately long chapter. It wore me out. I'll be posting more stuff later. I need sleep. Anemia kind of cancels out insomnia.

Please REVIEW!!!


	23. Chapter 19: Possibilities

**A/N: **This chapter starts off from Bella's POV right after the fight between Edward and Bella. It continues on after the end of the last chapter. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns all.

**POSSIBILITIES**

**BPOV**

I don't remember ever having sworn at my pillow before.

In fact, I don't remember inflicting so much abuse on any one object before; my pacifistic tendencies normally didn't allow that. But my pillow was being punched with my good hand repeatedly, facing the punishment I desperately wished I could inflict upon myself without the risk of Emmett stopping me. After all, he was standing just outside my door, still waiting for me to unlock the old door. He probably could have broken it open by now. I didn't know why he didn't.

As I swore and cursed at myself and at Edward, I let the burning tears rush down my face and didn't even try and wipe away the saline water from my mouth. I could taste the salt on my tongue and it disgusted me. It was the blood without the rust.

It took hours to actually begin thinking clearly, to begin seeing that this wasn't all Edward's fault and that I needed to shoulder the blame so much more than Edward did. The anger had worn me out and left me to sit on my bedroom floor in a jumble of emotions, tears, and thoughts.

When the flow of tears had begun to slow, I began asking myself questions in which I would have to answer. For every tear that fell from this point on I would ask and answer a question. It wasn't logical but it was all I could think to do without opening my door and having an awkward Emmett try and help me sort out what was wrong with me.

For the first tear, I began my interrogation of myself.

_Why did Edward get so mad?_

Because he's a pompous jerk who is controlling and arrogant. He acted that way when we met. I should have known he'd be that way again.

_Do you really believe that?_

...No, I don't believe that.

_Again, why was Edward so mad?_

He was angry at me for not telling him the truth about my eyes. I didn't tell him that there was a chance that I could be cured.

_Why did he want to know the truth so badly when he knew that you hadn't told him yourself?_

Because he likes being aware. He likes to know what's going on.

_Is that all?_

No...

_What else is there?_

He...cares. He wants to know everything about me. He wants to be able to see what I see and know what I know because he cares.

_Why does he care so much?_

I don't know. He shouldn't.

_Are you sure?_

He doesn't love me. I've worked that out already, okay? Having a blind girlfriend is one of those phases that he's going to go through. He's getting his chance at being the knight in shining armor to the damsel in distress. That's all there is to it. When he finally gets tired of playing dress up, he'll see what more there is. That's all there is to it.

_Fine, if you insist. But why didn't you tell him the truth in the first place, before he got mad? Why didn't you tell __**anybody**__?_

Because...I'm scared. If this doesn't work, if I go and get something done, it may not work. Once it's done, it can't be reversed. One mistake and I could have no other chance. I'd prefer to live in the dark than get a chance at seeing the light only to have it taken away from me forever. Not seeing is better than hallucinating about sight only to find it isn't real for me.

The tears had long since stopped falling but I felt a strange satisfaction in admitting all this to myself. It was my version of coming clean. It was like being cleansed of my mistakes even if I still had the scars of it written upon my eyes.

Emmett was pacing outside my door, his heavy footsteps just barely concealed by the door that was between us. I don't know what time it was but I needed to do the right thing. I needed to fix things even if the pieces to this puzzle weren't there. Things needed to be set right.

I opened the door to my room and heard the steps stop.

"Bells, are you alright? I –"

"Emmett, I need a ride."

--

Emmett didn't talk back to me on the drive. He wasn't usually this awkward when it came to conversation. His jokes normally filled the silence and left us both feeling light and happy. I didn't see that happening now that emotions had been involved. My brother wasn't exactly the sensitive kind of guy when it came to this.

The night air was cool when we reached the Cullen home. It caressed my skin and pushed me forward as I rang the door bell, Emmett at my heel, still wondering why he didn't speak up. I didn't expect him too, not yet. I would explain after I fixed everything. I had to do this first.

Someone answered the door and didn't say anything. Did they feel the air the same way as I was, the cleansing properties it seemed to hold when it poured in through the doorway? I just walked in to the warm home. The light, powdery scent that I could only describe as maternal and soothing infiltrated my senses. Was that Esme? I thought I had smelled her before when Carlisle was fixing my hand.

Finding my way wasn't hard. It was like I could see an imaginary path lit in my mind that told me exactly where Edward was and exactly where I needed to be. I followed this path up the stairs, warm hands touching my shoulder as I made my up to the third floor, reassuring me. No one spoke. They too must have sensed the importance of the silence before it was broken.

In the silence I found a hint of something. It was like the tinkering of glass as it hit the floor, broken and beautiful as the light hit it just right to where it set off blinding lights, colorful and rainbow-like. It was a reminder, a remembrance of where everything had begun. It had seemed so horrible at the time, so fatally devastating. But as this blanket of hope and unspoken reassurance covered me in its warmth, I knew that whatever happened in the next moments would make or break me. And I was ready to take that chance. I would risk my heart and soul in this game of chance and let the one who stole everything I could give to decide my fate.

My hand grasped a cold door handle and I braced myself for this. I could sense him just behind the wooden barricade that separated us. Would he want to see me? I knocked just in case.

"Come in," a muffled voice called. I breathed in deeply and opened the door, exhaling as I stepped into the room. A scent, warm and inviting graced my senses. I could almost see him in my mind's eye, sitting before me.

"Hi Edward."

He didn't speak. The door shut behind me quietly, the click the only thing that gave it away. A sound of shuffling against the carpeted floor came closer. The warm smell was closer now, the warmth of a body making my skin tingle. My hand lifted on its own accord and reached for him.

His long fingers wrapped around mine and lifted them. His face beneath my fingers was smooth and moist and warm. My other hand lifted to join the first as I drew closer. Something was different, almost wrong. The pads of fingers gently searched his face for the one thing that made it different from what it was before. I felt something, like a slight lift of the skin around his eyes. Edward hissed quietly.

"What happened to your eyes?" I asked, worried and frowning. I didn't remember that being there.

His breath was warm and sweet across my face. "I don't remember, but that doesn't matter. I'm so sorry," he murmured, holding my hands to his face.

I shook my head and opened my mouth to retort but he had already placed his finger on my lips, silencing me.

"I _will _take responsibility for this, Bella." I liked the way my name sounded when he said it. It distracted me slightly but I tried keeping my attention on what he was saying. He shouldn't have had this affect on me.

"I was a fool, Bella; a complete imbecile that doesn't deserve you. And I intend to repent for what I've done. I will fall to my knees and beg if that's what it takes."

"Don't be ridiculous," I murmured, trying to see him through the cloud that covered my vision. The lights weren't bright enough in the room. I couldn't even see a shadow of the man in front of me.

"Do you know how important you are to me?" I didn't say anything. He was speaking in a more determined voice now. I wasn't sure why this made me more eager and more scared of what he would say next.

"Remember when I told you about Tanya, about how I burned everything I had that even held a trace of her?" A nod was all I could handle. I looked back into my memory and searched for that time, that time when everything had seemed so much easier when I knew that I was still withholding most of the truth...

_That night, I got rid of everything that reminded me of her; her number, her email address, the ring I was going to give her. Everything, I just burned it all. Jasper had to pull me away from the fire that night_.

"I don't think I had ever been so distraught before, at that point in time anyway. I don't even remember what else happened that night. After the fire, everything just blurs," he didn't speak for a moment.

"Carlisle told me the next morning that I hadn't been myself. He didn't say anything else but I just felt...ashamed. I couldn't even control what I was feeling." He stepped away from me, untangling his fingers from mine. I missed his warmth.

"As you can see from tonight's events, I'm a control freak," he said grimly. He was pacing the floor. "I made the mistake in getting mad at you for just keeping to yourself. I shouldn't have expected you to tell me everything, especially since we haven't even known each other all that long and we had just barely entered a relationship." That pulled me out of my silence.

"Wait...we _had _just entered a relationship? Does that mean you...." I couldn't finish the sentence. This was the judgment I had been waiting for, his decision on how this would end.

"I...don't understand you, Bella." He sounded confused as if he had expected me to see his answer clearly from the start. I guess I did. I always knew how it would end.

"Please don't make me say it," I pleaded, turning away from his paces. My eyes were burning even though I thought all my tears had long since run out.

"Bella...oh my goodness, no Bella!" His arms were around me immediately and his face was burrowed in my neck.

"Don't you understand? I love you!" He whispered into my neck, his breath warm on the skin. "I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you, anything. If it takes a lifetime to do it, I'll spend every second of every day trying to convince you." His voice lowered slightly, "That is, if you really do love me back...."

I don't know why I did it but I guess it was just instinct for me to do so when I heard that very stupid comment coming from his lips. My hand collided with the back of his head.

"Ow, what was that for?" he whined.

"What kind of idiot talk is that?" I said angrily.

"What do you –you just slapped me across the head and you expect me not to wonder –"

"No, I mean how could you not be sure if I don't love you back? Why the hell would I have come back here if I didn't love you? Dammit, Edward, you can't give up so easily, not now. Fight, Edward, fight back!" I grabbed him and pulled his lips to mine, our teeth bumping as our mouths collided. After kissing awkwardly and clumsily for a second, he tilted his head properly (why the heck I didn't think of that in the first place, I'm not sure) and kissed me for seconds longer before pulling away from me, gasping.

"So...you...love...me?" he gasped over my own ragged breathing. I tried to glare at him but my breathing didn't make it at all convincing. Instead, I raised my hand to slap across the back of the head again only for him to catch my wrist.

As his breathing became even, his mouth moved to my cheek where he kissed lightly, a grin curving against my skin. "Sorry, love, just had to make sure." I tried not to but my lips turned up at the corners.

We stood in silence, reveling in each other's presence for moments before I broke the quiet with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked quietly.

"I guess you want an explanation, huh?"

"Only if you want to tell me," he assured quietly. I could hear the curiosity burning behind the assurances though. He just didn't want me to feel pressured.

"No, I think I need to tell you the truth," I sighed once more. "This is going to make me sound like a coward, though."

"I don't think anything could make you sound like a coward," he muttered. I ignored him.

"I didn't tell you the possibilities because I was...scared. The possibility of never having another chance, of doing something permanently and never being sure that it would turn out right until after its been done, I can't stand it. Ugh, see, I told you it was cowardly!" His fingers lifted my face. They made the skin tingle.

"Do you honestly think that I would find you a coward because of that?" he murmured quietly. I tried to turn my head away but he kept it in place. "Do you?"

"I wasn't sure what you'd think. I didn't want to get your hopes up either. I was avoiding telling you because of that. If you realized that there might be a chance only for it to be taken away from you, I couldn't live with that. I'd be keeping you with me longer because of the possibilities. It's like a weapon I didn't want to have. I didn't want it to influence your feelings for me, so I didn't tell you."

"Well, you were wrong," he stated. "No matter what, I would have stuck with you till the end. I _love _you and there's nothing you can do to influence that."

"I guess I'll just have to accept that," I said in a mockingly sad tone. He chuckled and chastely kissed my lips again.

"Yes, I guess you will."

"So, when are we going?" I asked, trying to keep my voice normal and nonchalant.

He seemed confused. "Going where?"

"Well, you're going to the optometrist with me, aren't you?" He didn't answer. I just got pulled into his arms once more, his lips moving against mine, curved up in a triumphant smile.

**A/N: **This chapter was more emotional and gooey than I thought it would be. Kind of in a good way, kind of in a sickening way...not really. I enjoyed it.

Oh yeah, as I've stated on another AN, I've gotten a couple reviews about grammatical or spelling errors. If its something huge like a sentence that doesn't make sense at all because I'm butchering the English language then tell me immediately so I can go back and fix it. Otherwise, please don't make a huge deal about a word that is missing a letter because a button on my keyboard got stuck or something. Most likely I won't fix it until the story is already over and done with. I dislike getting chapter alerts for chapters I've already read. It gets my hopes up and fills my inbox.

Well, hope you all enjoyed the chapter. More will be coming your way...hopefully soon!!! **Please review!!!**


	24. Take a Look Into the Light

Looks like I'm still alive, huh? Well, yeah, I kind of wish I wasn't right now.

Yeah, I know. I'm a crap author and I don't really deserve to be able to have all you guys around as my readers. Trust me, I get that. I feel like shit as it is. No need to rub it in quite this minute. But I will explain myself for my own petty reasons. Couple of weeks ago –sometime after school ended– my computer wouldn't let me use the word processor because of a virus. Then I had to reformat my computer. Well, I didn't have a back up for writing so things went downhill. But I got back my word processor a couple of weeks ago.

So why the hell haven't I updated, right?

This is one of those it's-not-you-its-me moments. I just lost focus and my thought process went to hell. I kind of got lost in my own head. Ideas were still running but I just couldn't sit down and put them on the screen. Even my mom got mad at me. I've been distant and just hiding away in my room and not really talking or being expressive. And after giving me a good talking to, I sort of saw something. Like a weird epiphany that came way too late.

Normalcy has never been my forte. Trying to be normal is hard for me because I can tell that I'm not normal. If I was, I would care more for peer pressure and adulthood and hormones. But my entire family isn't normal. We know that. We're weird and we like ourselves that way. But I was getting away from that because of something I realized in myself and I just couldn't figure out what was bothering me so much. All that time meditating was wasted because I was pondering things I already knew and over-analyzing things that had already been pushed to the max. That's one of my problems. I overanalyze things.

Anyway, the point is, I'm back. And I'll be doing my damndest to make sure I stick to some sort of writing schedule. I understand if you all want to just quit reading. I'm probably such a bore now. Feel free to curse me out or whatever. If I couldn't even figure out what my thoughts were, I deserve that. As much as I would have liked to lie to you all and said I had been in a coma, been killed in a hit-and-run ice cream truck accident, or had been pushed into a drug–induced vegetative state, I can't do it. You all have been the best and I swear that I'll earn back your respect. I've begun writing again and the chapters are well on their way.

Indebted to you all,

Laura a.k.a Sovoyita

P.S. Voodoo dolls are in season. My picture is on my account. Feel free to jab pointy needles into my joints to speed up the writing process. Just watch the hands. I need those.

And thanks to people who have emailing me like crazy to get me to keep writing. I appreciate the support and hope you all haven't given up on me.


	25. Chapter 20: Sure As Hell Didn't See That

**A/N: **Hey guys. Look, I've got to hurry with this. I hope this chapter suits you all. **I've got a proposition for you all at the bottom of the page so hurry and read.** This chapter was light and funnier than the last few had been. It took me forever to get it out because I literally have about ten different variations, all of which are so very depressing. This one was the funniest and so much easier to write.

And if you all wonder why Edward is acting so brattish in this chapter, just think, "It's because he cares!" That's all you need to know.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Twilight saga or its characters. They are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

**SURE AS HELL DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING**

"That's bull! How can he do this to you? The results should come immediately? The examination didn't even involve any tests that would need results! It makes no sense!"

I sighed and twiddled my thumbs as Edward made a show of pacing loudly on his carpeted floors. I really shouldn't have been able to hear his footsteps as loudly as I did. And his carpet was thick and soft, too. He must have really been angry.

"Relax, Edward. You heard what he said. He hadn't received a case like this before and it would take him a while to make some calls and do a little more searching on this particular…issue," I said calmly, trying to sooth him. It didn't work.

"He's an optometrist! He should know what he's doing! I don't like this, Bella. Maybe we should just find you another doctor. Dad should be able to find some doctors that deal with this kind of thing. I'm sure it's not as uncommon as he's making it seem. I mean, I've been looking all over for information on this kind of thing. Did you know that not all blind people have cataracts over their eyes?! That's got to mean something," Edward rambled on and on, his words coming out faster and faster as he seemed to lose the point of his original argument and went on and on about people with cataracts and the difference between blind people and legally blind people. He had been like that since the end of the appointment. Throughout it all he had been eager and ready to help answer the doctor's questions, helpful in every way possible while he politely pushed me from room to room.

But as soon as we left, he began complaining about the doctor, the way he spoke in an "unsure" manner, the _facilities _–when Edward couldn't think of anything else to criticize– and then began researching the terms that the doctor had said that he hadn't understood as soon as he had gotten home. Once words like _amblyopia _and _retinal detachment_ started being thrown around, I tried to block it out. Edward had just continued asking more and more questions. He should have known that it would be impossible to actually block his questions out when he was saying them. That was blocking out the song of a siren. Impossible.

I hadn't said much to him since the appointment. Letting him rant and have his time to accept the little that had been said to him was all I could do. So much drama had passed through my once boring life that I wasn't quite ready for something as potent as a life-changing experience yet. But I would openly admit to myself that Edward was acting much more brattish than I had ever expected of him. Then again, I should have seen the potential before. He was rather spoiled.

Avoiding all topics relating to my eyes was impossible. Edward had made it a key factor in everything we did. Even when eating he had pointed out, "Carrots are good for your eyes. Would you like some in your salad?" And I had then silently declined by changing my order from a garden salad to a burger and fries –no carrots in sight.

I blamed myself for the rut in our relationship. Edward and I still spent most of our time together, whether it was sitting at my kitchen table doing homework (Edward always seemed to sneak away my paper afterwards and correct works that meshed together strangely) or lounging on his bedroom floor, looking through the numerous music albums that he owned, all ranging from all corners of the musical spectrum. However, the time we spent together wasn't enough. It was all clouded over by the same thing that clouded my eyes: doubt and questions.

What could possibly be left for me to take? The eyes were supposed to be the last thing I would lose in my book. But that chapter of my life seemed to have passed only to open more doors, all that led to unlit rooms that I couldn't see inside. So if I was correct in my predictions and I had looked at the signs correctly, there was something just around the corner, lurking and waiting for me to step out without my protector watching me before they attacked.

Anticipation was there, boiling in my stomach and making me sick, a strange counter to Edward's excited and anxious attitude. It didn't help. It was like adding lemon juice to the salt covered wound. It just burned more.

--

A father-daughter heart-to-heart wasn't my idea of a nice Saturday. A nice Saturday was a sunny one, sitting with Edward in that sweet, flower and dew scented place he had taken me for our picnic, a day where he forgot that I was blind and that there was a chance of him being unhappy with me being blind. But seeing as how Edward would never forget about my blindness and he would consider being unhappy being with me –even if only because I am unhappy being blind– and Charlie had finally decided to check up on me to see if I was still alive and that Emmett hadn't accidentally killed me and buried me underneath the overgrown moss in the trees outside our house, a chat with Charlie was all I had to look forward to.

"So," Charlie drawled awkwardly. "I hear you're going out with the Cullen boy. I thought he was dating someone."

I coughed into my hand, trying to cover up my discomfort. Edward's past escapades with the opposite sex weren't the ideal subject for me. "Umm…that wasn't true. He hasn't been dating anyone."

"And your hand? Does that have something to do with him?" I shook my head jerkily, thinking up a quick story that wasn't exactly a lie…not.

"Oh, I –uh, punched a brick wall. It was just…there, you know? Not realistically placed and it just got in the way and it was annoying the heck out of me, so, yeah."

"Bells, you can't just go around punching brick walls! They don't talk and they _definitely_ can't _think_." This all would have been much funnier had I been watching from the sidelines. Charlie and I, talking about "brick walls" –hint: I was thinking of a certain girl who had interrupted a special date of mine– was really just the strangest thing I could imagine at the moment. I tried to change the subject quickly to a more entertaining subject that Charlie definitely preferred to my current "unavailable" status and managed to keep him occupied on his next fishing trip, the one that Emmett would be accompanying him on –though I readily admitted that Emmett probably didn't even know he was scheduled for one of his bimonthly fishing explorations with Charlie.

Charlie avoided all conversation revolving my medical problems after the hand comment. That's what I liked about him. He didn't hover over me or ask me if I was alright all the time. And that was the difference between Charlie and Edward. I didn't appreciate it when Charlie asked me. I appreciated it when Edward did…but I still didn't like being asked so much. But at least he cared in a way that wasn't always so stoic and silent. It was nice to know he at least thought about how I was feeling.

--

There was so much going on. Another appointment with another doctor, an _ophthalmologist, _a doctor that sounded a heck of a lot like an _optometrist, _and another call from the first doctor that he couldn't be of much help because this case wasn't really in his field at all and he had only been hoping to be helpful in the first place. So Edward had practically been threatening to go and attack the poor yet optimistic man with a lawsuit as soon as he heard that we had wasted our time waiting for results for tests that had never been taken because the man was going against his own practice. I honestly just didn't care at this point. They could rip my eyes out and put new ones in if that helped. As long as Edward was fine with that, then I was too. But hearing him rant on and on about something that had long since been accepted into my life was like having to listen to him about his old girlfriends from school. I just didn't want to hear it.

However, on the drive to one of the ophthalmology offices in Seattle, I could feel the excitement radiating from Edward's very being. He had been humming along to a song, one of the many that I could remember hearing from his extensive collection, and every time there was a slight crescendo or an accented note, he would accentuate those points before speeding up happily. The humming just made me nervous.

What did Edward expect from this? A miracle? I hoped not. Maybe would could have the cataracts removed from my eyes. That would be nice. Then he would at least not be startled by seeing a milky white eye staring back at him when he looked up from his homework to see how I was doing. He would only have to see bland brown eyes. That was better than the freakish eyes I had now.

But I didn't expect much else from this experience. I'd probably be poked with some sort of metal instrument simply because that was silent agreement I had with all my doctors. If I'm going in and paying you, I must at least be poked by a metal instrument. I and my insurance company are paying you good money to look me over and grope me in uncomfortable but entirely appropriate ways. The least you can do is pretend you're doing something worthwhile and poke me with a metal utensil that has nothing but numbers in its name.

I stifled a giggle. No need for Edward to think I'm not taking this seriously.

--

"Hi, I'm Dr. Calgary. So, what seems to be the problem?" Edward was silent.

"I can't see," I said lamely.

"I think that's kind of obvious, Bella," Edward replied silently, a hint of humor in his voice. Good, at least he was getting something out of this. I was just feeling nauseous. This place…I wasn't sure what it was. It was probably just because of the atmosphere. It smelled clean in here, like I was in a completely sterile environment. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

"Well," Dr. Calgary interrupted quietly, a smile in his voice, "let's just see what we can do about that. Right this way." We were led into what I assumed was an office with soft carpet that crushed like flower petals beneath my feet. It smelled like cinnamon and reminded me that I needed to relax. I ignored that and remembered why I needed to stay alert. I may not have wanted to hear what was going to come next but I had to be here for Edward. Being pessimistic _and _comforting was difficult but I could do it. For Edward, I _would _do it.

After being seated, Dr. Calgary went on to explain how he was different from the previous doctor and how ophthalmology was different from optometry. Edward's hand always loosened around my own whenever he wanted to speak up and finish the doctor's explanation in his own words. I just squeezed back when his hand relaxed back into its normal place.

"So, Ms. Swan, how long have you been unable to see?"

I thought back. "A little more than a year, I believe."

"Sixteen months," Edward corrected. I just internally shook my head. Edward had looked this up to. The reports, newspaper clippings, everything from the accident. He knew it all. Damn that photographic memory of his.

"And you haven't had any other examinations specifically for your eyes besides the one performed by the doctor who referred me to you, correct?" I nodded.

"Alright then," he clapped his hands together. "Well, we'll run a scan of your eyes, take some pictures, maybe we can diagnose this problem immediately."

--

We spent an hour or two running tests, having light being flashed into my eyes, taking up-close pictures of my eyes, and Edward squeezing my hand whenever I felt uncomfortable. And when the doctor said he would look over his notes and try to figure things out, we told him we would wait. Edward was anxious and I just wanted things to be over.

The doctor didn't seem to feel awkward with us sitting in his office seats, and watching him read over the scans and looking over the pictures. I felt awkward though. I didn't know what he was doing but I could hear plastic sheets being brushed against each other and the sound of the doctor hm-ing under his breath. We were so lucky that we had been his last scheduled appointment for the day. Otherwise I think Edward would have had to be pushed out of the office kicking and screaming that we were paying good money for this appointment and that we had been scheduled and therefore had the right to wait for immediate results. Again, I would readily admit that this was all very humorous. Seeing Edward act like a child every once in awhile was kind of…cute. Endearing were Edward's many traits, a perfect combination that suited him well.

"Whoop, looks like I've gotten this down!" Dr. Calgary exclaimed suddenly, making me jump. "Looks like we've found the source of the problem. It's not as bad as I thought it would be."

"Really? What is it?" Edward asked excitedly.

"She's got cataracts," Dr. Calgary replied. I sighed. If this is how long it took him to figure out the obvious, we had obviously gotten an idiot for a doctor.

"Doctor, I think we could have guess that," Edward said heavily, his voice laced with annoyance. Calgary laughed (I had lost the need to call him "doctor").

"Yes, but I don't think either of us could have assumed _why _they had formed over her otherwise healthy eyes. It surprised me as well."

"There was a cause?" Edward asked.

I snorted. "Every effect has a cause, Edward. Duh," I said playfully. Edward didn't seem amused. Just excited to hear what else was to be heard.

"At first, I had assumed that maybe Ms. Swan's eyes had formed the cataracts due to damage done directly to the area beyond the crystalline lens, where her eyes are much more sensitive. From the scars around her eyes, that had been my first guess. Fortunately, I was wrong. That kind of damage would have left permanent scarring and would have led to a dead end full of only harsher surgeries. I prefer not to have to take you into that. There are always more risks with more difficult surgeries.

"But there is a big reason behind the cataracts forming. Your previous doctor had thought about it but seeing as he has little experience in this field of medicine," Edward snorted quietly, "he couldn't correctly diagnose the problem. Partial retinal detachment was the cause of your vision loss. The cataracts were forming because of this. They were doing their best to protect the eyes because the break. But you were lucky. It was only partially attached from the choroid membrane –the part that is connected directly to your eye– and nourishment was still allowed to pass through to the eye. If it hadn't still been partially attached, you wouldn't have been able to have it corrected after waiting an entire year later."

"Wait up. So…she's not actually blind?" Edward asked excitedly.

"Oh no, she's blind alright. Legally blind. But that can easily be fixed with a corrective surgery that will reattach the choroid membrane to the retina. And once we do that, we can remove the cataracts and replace the crystalline lens with an intraocular lens, which is an artificial crystalline lens that will do the same as the crystalline lens did. I've done both surgeries, though I admit that I've never had to do them simultaneously before. But you're in capable hands, Ms. Swan."

I just sat there, gaping at the empty sight that my eyes had been seeing for the past sixteen months. Cataract surgery and a simple retina reattachment. That was all. No exchanging of the eyes, no having to reassure Edward that I would survive (even if I really couldn't) if he left me, no reminding myself that I was the same person I had always been, that I didn't need my eyesight. Just a simple surgery. Nothing else. That just…

_Sucked. _

My mind blurred a bit before I heard the echoes of someone trying to call me back out of the cloud of darkness that seemed to be darker and more welcoming than the dark that I was accustomed.

**A/N: **Okay, the proposition, the proposition.

I know you all waited a hell of a lot of time for this chapter and it probably wasn't even all that good. I get that. I'm pissed too. But something important is happening in my head right now.

If you all review, I won't be checking my email until Wednesday, August 5th at around 1: 29 PM. Why, you may ask? Well, that is the exact time and date that I was born in 1992. And by that time, I have to have written a 25 chapter book. Why? Because when I started writing my book at the beginning of last school year, I told myself, "Hey, I'm going to finish this book before my seventeenth birthday!" But I procrastinated and I'm ashamed. So I need to finish it in less than two days. Sounds impossible, right? Wrong! I will do it and then I'll give you all a preview of it just to see if you all like it. But if you all can be supportive and review and stuff, I will personally send all of you an excerpt! I promise on my dying bladder (I've been dying to go to the bathroom for the past ten minutes). I won't check reviews until August 5th.

Oh, and if you review anonymously, please leave an email address. That is, if you want me to reply or you want an excerpt from my original story as well.

Thanks for reading. Please review!


	26. Chapter 21: Heated Healing

**A/N: **No excuses right now. I've got tons of homework and I'm procrastinating by doing this. Love all you who have stuck with me through all the crap that I've decided to tread through. Your supporting reviews have been lifesavers. This chapter is extra special, not too much drama but a nice little scene towards the end that includes some tension relief, relief I wish I could get if it weren't for the fact that I'm not attractive enough. Anyway, read on!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but an Ice Bat! Whoo for Ugly Dolls!

**CHAPTER 21: HEATED HEALING**

The familiar waves of consciousness pulsed over my head, rousing me from my distressed sleep, the darkness that was not similar to my lack of eyesight being the only cloudy thing I could see. My mind felt blurred and colors appeared behind my lids before I remembered that blinking my eyes would help me awaken even though there would be no blinding light to burn my eyes when I did. I couldn't even see the red haze that one would see when they were out in the sun, closing their eyes as they basked in nature's warmth, the sun's light burning past the skin of their eyelids all the way to their retinas.

Life sucks and then you die. That was going to be my new motto. Edward could go on with his silly optimism and watch as I cried in what he would think was surprise and relief and excitement while I hid the fact that I was so messed up inside because of this stupid chain of events that seemed to pull me along with them even though I never stopped trying to remove the links that had encircled my life. It was hard enough to pretend that with my eyesight my tear ducts had become useless as well. At least now I could cry without someone wondering why I was bawling all over the place. For Edward, I would place a smile on my face. That was what I would do, for him.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?" I bit back the sigh that wanted to escape me. I loved Edward, I really, _really _did, but I was angry at him as well. He was the one who had brought up all this nonsense and look what he had done. My own inner turmoil had become a boiling pot of molten emotions that made me sick. This is what love got me. I would be lying if I said it wasn't bittersweet.

"Fine, I'm fine," I muttered, my head clearing despite the haziness I felt. It was something I had grown used to, I supposed.

"You scared me," Edward whispered heatedly, his mouth so close to my ear that I felt the moistness of his breath along my lobe. "Do you even know how frightened I'd been? Do you have any idea?" I released the sigh for a completely different reason. Wherever I was, I had enough leverage that I was able to reach my hand over to Edward's face and cup his sharply sculpted cheek, his high cheekbones like dully angular bone beneath my fingertips.

"I'm sorry you were worried," I murmured back to him as I leaned my cheek against the side of his face. He was tense but with the collected warmth of our touching skin, his jaw loosened from its tightly clenched position in my palm. My heart ached as Edward blew hot air at my neck through his nose, anger and annoyance long forgotten with every puff of breath. With all the business that came with being in a relationship with me—business that would have never been confronted if Edward hadn't been the one who had happened upon me in my less-than-perfect state of denial—it seemed Edward and I had put any essence of our relationship on hold. We had continued going through the notions, holding hands, hugging, kissing each other goodbye with those chaste little pecks to the cheek, but we hadn't done anything to excel our pathetic little excuse of a partnership. A crashed date, a couple heated kisses, that was all our relationship had been based on, really. We hadn't been friends long enough for there to be a lasting bond that would bind us even if our courtship didn't work out. There just hadn't been enough time and thought put into what we could salvage from our relationship. It was one of the reasons why I didn't want Edward getting involved in my problems. Distractions were the last things we needed if we didn't want to rock the boat any further. Edward had continued to walk us closer to the ledge of the proverbial plank and we were barely teetering, our problems jeering and mocking us with every step closer. Our hands were tied behind us now. We could have gotten away sooner; Edward could have escaped safely in the beginning if only it weren't for the fact that he was just so _good_ of a person.

"We need to get you home," Edward murmured, removing himself from wherever I was. I hadn't noticed before but as I clenched my fist in agitation as Edward moved himself away from me, my nails had scratched against something smooth and warm. Leather seats I could only assume. The doctor's office had only those plastic and barely-cushioned seats….

"After you fainted, I thought it'd be a good idea if I took you home…or to another doctor. You came to before I had a chance to rush you off like I'd planned," Edward said, his voice still quiet. It scared me, to be totally honest. Was this that moment I'd been anticipating, eagerly yet fearfully? Had he finally just seen what a hassle it could be if he decided that I was what he wanted?

"You're not going to say anything, are you?" he asked. I shook my head and turned my head to lean it against the window. It was much cooler than I had thought it was. The warm air from the car must have just barely been spreading.

"We need to talk about this; you know that," he reminded. I shook my head again and stubbornly bit my lip. I would not cry. It would be stupid not to cry…but then again, my eyes had been against me for awhile now.

"Bella, this affects us both. If we want this to happen—" I cut him off with a harsh laugh as I tried to keep myself from just sobbing into my hands. Honestly, it shouldn't have been just so _hard_.

"Oh, please, Edward. Maybe I don't want this to happen. Maybe I just want to continue living my life as a member of the disabled community. Have you ever once considered that?" I could practically see Edward rolling his eyes and shaking his head. I'm sure I sounded hysterical. It was pathetic.

"Bella, you know you don't want that," he said. I sighed and pretended to sweep the hair out of my eyes while running my thumb under my eye to assure that any spare tears would be wiped away. Like hell I would allow Edward to see me cry now. He knew me better than I knew him. He was right, of course. I wouldn't want that.

"Firstly, you hate having to rely on anyone. It's not in your nature to sit back and watch people do things for you. However, at the moment your dislike for assistance is not my concern. What bothers me most is…you've been very distant, Bella," Edward murmured. "At first, I thought that maybe it was because you were truly scared of making such a concrete decision. That would make sense; if it were me, I'd be terrified. But then I thought about it and realized that you hadn't only been distant from the situation but….me too." I didn't say anything. Had I been distant? I couldn't remember. Beneath the entire ruckus that had gathered around me, I hadn't really focused on anything like that. What had I done?

"I understand if you find that I am being overbearing. I admit that this is probably the most determined I've ever been in any situation. For you to be able to see is something I would give anything for," he took a deep breath, "because I want you to be happy. When you're happy, I'm happy. But if you would prefer to go about this without assistance from me, I'd step aside and allow you to do whatever you would like. I have been a bit of a tyrant, after all."

Leaning my head against the window, I contemplated all the stupid things Edward had just said. Of course he'd blame himself. I could bet my life that if I had a dog and someone had run over it, he would have blamed himself for not being able to stop the car with his own body, or something of that nature.

"You love me, right?" I asked.

"With every fiber of my being," Edward replied, so warmly that I felt my cheeks heat up with the words.

"And you know I love you, right?" I couldn't see Edward shake his head but I felt the tangible insecurity in the air. With a sigh, I continued.

"Well, I do love you. Even with all your controlling, tyrannical and bratty attitude changes, I love you. If you turned out to be a vampire, I would still love you. Heck, I'd tell you to make me a vampire too," Edward laughed and mumbled something—something resembling a line like, "As if I could ever be a vampire"—under his breath.

"For you to think that I don't want you as part of the decision-making process, it's like you don't believe that I truly do need you in my life," I concluded. "Which is just the stupidest thing ever. I probably would have tried to drown myself in a puddle if it hadn't been for you being here, just making sure I stayed sane.

"So, is it alright if we go home? I want there to be a minimum of…twelve hours without a mention of my blindness. Mind you, it's a constant reminder when we can't do things together that involve seeing things, but hey, nobody said life was perfect." I shrugged. I felt kind of light, as if maybe I was floating on a feather. My head was kind of dizzy.

The car's engine purred to life and we were soon driving off in what I had learned was a speed that Edward always preferred to travel at. He didn't say anything at first but slowly, I began to realize that he hadn't responded to any of what I'd said. I had made the assumption in my dizziness that he had just understood. Maybe I had been wrong…

"Bella?" I hummed in question.

"Do…do you really love me, then?" I felt like smacking his head again.

"Duh."

"Oh…"

"Jeez, don't sound so depressed," I laughed, the lightness pulling me in a bit. It was dizzying when Edward drove. Despite his smooth driving and the smoothness of the rode, I felt every turn and it made me feel like I was going on a Tilt-a-Whirl. I'd never puked on one before, but everything was kind of blurred now, so I wasn't exactly sure if I was just imagining things like that.

"Bella?" I turned to him, my neck kind of feeling like it was hanging off of a hinge. Things were feeling so _strange…_

--

"I should have made sure you'd eaten."

"Please, I don't eat all the time. It's not your fault that things got so hectic today that I forgot."

"I didn't forget that _I _was hungry. I should have assumed you'd be hungry, too."

I sighed. I just _had_ to pass out again. This was just some parody of the day we were supposed to have had; the soap opera of my life.

Edward would blame himself for the incident no matter what, this I knew.

"Edward, if there was a way you could make it up to me, would you do it?" I heard the rustle of Edward's clothes immediately cease, the room suddenly having gone completely silent. I'd thought I'd gone deaf for a moment.

"Yes," he whispered hoarsely, voice sounding slightly awed, "_anything_." I blushed at the implications of that. He'd do _anything…_

This was some sort of weird treat for Edward, knowing that I wanted something and knowing that I'd allow him to grant me my wish. I'd never told him what I wanted before, not really. Nearly everything I wanted was something he wanted as well, something we could share. My request was something for both of us but mainly for my own peace of mind. I wondered if Edward had even noticed the rift that had begun opening up between us.

"I...," I paused. My request was so _stupid_, something so menial that it didn't seem worth it. We could do this any old day. "Never mind, don't worry about it."

"Bella," Edward murmured, his face suddenly only inches away from mine. "You can't do that to me. _Please, _don't leave me in the dark. Anything, _anything_, I'll do it for you." I shivered as his warm breath caressed my face. When had gone from being Bella to being a hormone-driven Bella?

"I…I want to just sit with you. We can watch a movie, just be together." The request sounded so childish, so very different from how I was actually feeling. I needed to be around him. The static in the air grew in frequency as his distance from me was shortened.

"Of course, Bella. That'd be wonderful," he murmured. He sounded possessed but his voice was so warm that I could help but think that he really didn't mind. He guided me to his couch, the leather beneath us cold to the touch but soft. I leaned back and tried to not be so tense with the feelings coursing through me as result to him touching my skin.

Edward didn't question me when I stated I wanted to 'watch' a movie. He just asked which one to which I replied with anything was fine, trusting him to choose well. He did.

Shawn of the Dead was as good as any. Any movie with too many visuals would be useless for me and plenty of dialogue was necessary. Plus, if I'd needed subtitles, well…yeah.

Was it only me or when the lights turned out and his hand grasped mine, did the charged air prickle my skin? I felt it, the pleasant and unnerving prickling brushing my skin in a consistent torture that had me breathing shallowly. Even with the screams and humorous dialogue of the movie, I couldn't focus on it. It hardly did anything to quell the heat in my cheeks. My free hand clenched in effort to not reach over and touch Edward.

We were seventeen, a perfectly normal age to be feeling the result of physical abstinence. I'd never done anything more with James than kissing. I wasn't sure about Edward but I wanted to have something more with him, a physical relationship along with the emotional and mental. If I could just gather the cour—

I gasped as a warm mouth covered my own, my hands clutching at strong shoulders as if they were my lifeline. Edward was doing a fine job of moving his lips against my own, so close that I felt his hair ticking my cheek.

"I'm sorry," he murmured between heated kisses. "I can't stop. Please tell me to stop."

"Don't stop," I murmured back. He growled and continued with fervor, my mouth opening on its own accord to allow him to continue his wicked ways. He didn't pull away but he definitely didn't take the initiative to thoroughly plunder my mouth. He took a different but equally amazing route and moved from my mouth with chaste, warm, open-mouthed kisses down from the corner of my mouth to my neck. He kissed a bit more roughly there, one suction-like kiss making me whimper from the heat.

"Please, Bella. I can't stop. God, I don't want to stop…" I dragged his mouth back to my own and kissed him roughly. Like hell he could pull away now. As embarrassed as I was from my needy whimpers, I wanted his mouth on mine. I knew we wouldn't go so far as to hitting home with sex but I'd wanted so much from him. It had happened somewhere between the tension and the kissing, my revelation on our relationship. We were both so self-deprecating, so needy for someone to understand us. Edward had his past and I had mine and we were slowly healing each other. We'd both never thought of the fact that the thing we'd both ignored was our own physical needs. Only the heat of the moment could cure our cooling emotions. We needed this so much and we could only get it from one another. As we healed, we needed the heat to ease the pain.

Never once did I remember I was blind. I forgot my problems, my name, my very existence in exchange for only knowing Edward. It was like a beautiful song, instruments playing the same song, taking the melody from one another in a corresponding cacophony of emotions and music. When we finally pulled away from one another, panting with our hands still clenched in each other's hair, I felt as if a bit of myself had come back to me, a missing link that had hindered me now returned and making me breath so much more easily, as if it had never even been gone.

"Wow." I nodded and leaned back. My lips itched and were swollen. The pressure from Edward's mouth had eased that and I was tempted to pull him back to continue what he'd started.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to lose control like that." I shook my head and pulled his face forward, kissing him again. This one was chaste and I tried to put something into it, easing my content onto him with my lips.

"I could have stopped you. I didn't. What does that tell you?"

He groaned and kissed me again.

**A/N: **This chapter was a lot more...steamy than I expected. I was so torn with it that I wasn't sure where I wanted to turn. I have two versions of this chapter that I was throwing around and this one came to the rescue.

**Okay, little contest time! Whoever can come up with the best innuendo to fit into the whole "**"Yes," he whispered hoarsely, voice sounding slightly awed, "_anything_." I blushed at the implications of that. He'd do _anything…__**" **_**moment will get a shout out and, if it's good enough, I'll write up a one-shot dedicated to you. You can post it on your own profile if you'd like (I'll be posting it on mine as well). And it has to be a request from Bella that can also be an innuendo or something slightly sexual. You might want to explain it too. I'm a bit slow at the moment. And I don't mean straight out saying, "Give it to me Edward." I mean an actual innuendo, something clever and original. If I get a "Take me you fool", you're not going to win.**

Thanks again to all who have stuck by me through my crappy updating. I love you all and I'm working on my predicaments as we speak.

Please review!


	27. Chapter 22: Family

**A/N: **Man, it's been ages since I've posted one of these, an AN and a chapter both. I would like to sincerely apologize to all readers who may or may not have lost faith in me. It is hard to admit, but I'm more ashamed in the fact that I let my personal life affect updating than I am in not updating. If you'd like to understand a bit of what's going on and why I didn't update for so long, you can look on my profile page, first thing under my name and age.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**CHAPTER 22: FAMILY**

It was a blissful silence that engulfed us. We sat in each other's arms, my head tucked beneath Edward's chin, his large hand rubbing comforting circles in the small of my back. It was the most relaxed I had felt in a year.

It was funny that, as virginal as I was (am), I was the one who initiated…whatever it was that happened. As that thought crossed my mind, I felt my cheeks burn with realization. I hid my face deeper within Edward's warmth, hoping that if he noticed, he wouldn't question it.

He chuckled, laying a kiss in my hair, not saying a word.

I hoped the silence would last forever.

* * *

The funny thing about peace was that it was ephemeral. Two days later, I was in a doctor's office, making an appointment for the surgery that would revert my life to something I could no longer recognize.

"Normalcy" was the word Dr. Calgary had used. "Solitary" was what I was thinking.

Edward was doing a great job with the prospect of having a normal girlfriend. He wasn't jumping for joy, exactly, but he was being supportive, supporting any hope I may have had with augmented displays of encouragement and strength—strength that I couldn't possibly be capable of.

It was that in which kept Edward afloat amongst his own drowning that kept me hoping that the lack of oxygen would force Edward to stay with me. Because staying with me was like drowning, it seemed. I loved him, more than I had loved any one person, but I had learned a valuable lesson from James.

You've got to separate yourself from the things that hurt you. And I was the disease that would kill Edward.

I was a depressing person, a being that probably wasn't capable of being strong for him. Look at what I'd done previously. I'd been weak and questioned him, cried for him, but no action had taken place on my part that wasn't selfish. He was strong, trusting, and capable of forging this relationship from my unwillingness and turning me into someone, a somebody. I mattered when I was with him.

It was selfishness that kept me holding his hand loosely in mine, feeling his smooth fingertips, lightly tracing the smooth line of his fingernail. He drove along, humming along to a comforting piano piece that flowed from the car's speakers. It wouldn't be long before he would leave me at my house.

"You're surprisingly quiet, Bella. Are you alright?" he asked, his thumb rubbing along the skin of my wrist. I smiled, nodding away his worried.

"I'm fine. Just a bit worried, is all. The surgery's pretty soon, you know?" I could practically see his exasperated, teasing grin. He lifted my hand to his cheek, kissing my wrist.

"There's no need to worry, love. Dr. Calgary promised that everything would go great. From this point on, it's purely routine."

I nodded, taking a deep breath that Edward understood to be relief. It was, but not for the reason he thought. If Edward had realized that I was thinking these thoughts, bleak as they were, he'd surely try and comfort me. The sad thing was, Edward was like a prescription antidepressant. His affects were nearly instantaneous and just clearing him from my system took days. For me, I feared it would take years.

_Separate yourself from the things that hurt you, Bella, _I thought to myself. _Your mind, for example. Hold what comforts you tightly, and let everything else go._

It was selfish, but I could do it. I'd been relying on my own needs to make my decisions for awhile now. It was a human reaction, something that I couldn't avoid. It was like falling in love with Edward.

Totally out of my own control.

* * *

We pulled into my driveway and I forced my hand to release Edward's. He opened the door for me and kissed my cheek lovingly as I stepped out, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb again.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I fear I've been neglecting Esme. She's been missing her gardening buddy." I frowned, ready to chastise him for putting me before his family, but he merely kissed my cheek once more before pecking me on the lips. He laughed at my surprised expression and pulled me inside my house before saying goodbye.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the haze before going up the stairs to my room.

"Hey Bells!" I jumped, nearly tripping over myself.

"Emmett, what the heck? What are you doing in my room?"

"Just checking my email." I shook my head, reorienting myself and walking over to sit on my bed. My brother had lost most respect for personal space or property. He was funny that way.

"Fine, just sign back into mine when you're done, please. I need to see if there are any emails from Renee. Edward's not the only one neglecting his family." Emmett laughed boisterously, his fingers clacking along the keyboard.

I relaxed as Emmett read me some emails that he'd gotten from Renee—doing high-pitched impressions while he was at it—most of them questioning why I hadn't replied back to her emails. I groaned at her worries, but quickly reassured myself that all would be well once I got to typing up my replies.

Emmett signed back onto my email and went through the notions, typing out my words for me, reassuring Renee and giving her some of the juicy gossip (I didn't really trust Emmett to not completely butcher my relationship with Edward with exaggerations so I typed those parts myself before seating myself on the bed again) before wishing her well and saying "Send".

"Bells, you've got a couple other emails here. Do you want me to read them for you?" Surprised, I sat up. Nobody emailed me.

"Who're they from?"

"Hmm, it just says 'Red' in the sender bar. It's not flagged, so it doesn't have a virus. I'll check it anyway."

I hummed in response, assuming it was just spam.

"Bella," Emmett said, but that wasn't what caught my attention. His voice was reserved, calm but startlingly serious. "What's going on that you aren't telling me?"

Confused, I frowned, "Nothing…you do know that I'm having surgery in a week, right?"

"This isn't a joking matter, Bella."

"What exactly is the matter then? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about this person claiming that you're a murderer!"

I sat up quickly, "What?"

"Listen."

There was the sound of static and a couple erratic clicks before there was any sort of proper sound and it was so familiar, suddenly.

"_Hiding away again, aren't you Isabella? Such a sick, cowardly thing to do, you filthy, conniving bitch. After all that James did for you, for all that he sacrificed just to give you an image, you kill him? You just used him, didn't you? I swear on my life that I'll avenge his death, Isabella. He may not have realized who truly loved him but I'll show him. You're dead, Isabella."_

I stood, shocked and otherwise unable to move.

"You know who did this, don't you?" Emmett said accusingly, the chair he sat on scraping against my floor. "Bells, you need to tell me immediately. This can't be safe. If she's some kind of psychopathic freak, we need to talk to Charlie about it."

Shaking my head, I blinked repeatedly, as if my eyes were suddenly the key to understanding. "No, Emmett, it's just Victoria. She's probably still angry or something. I mean, the last one—"

"Wait, you mean there were _more_?" I nodded hesitantly. Emmett really didn't need to freak out over this. There were people who got angry and then there were people like Victoria who never stopped being angry. I could handle that.

"Her full name's Victoria Scott, right?" I nodded again and Emmett's clicking continued.

"Jesus," he murmured, his breathing suddenly much louder. "When was the last time you checked your email, Bells?"

I shrugged. It was probably the easiest thing to do at this time. "I'm not really sure. Probably not for about a month or so. Why?"

"Because you've got about thirty emails from this girl, some from a Victoria Scott and the rest from Red. They're all about the same, saying the same things."

"Oh."

"Bella, you can't tell me you didn't know about this. She's done this before, right?"

"Well, she didn't—look, it's not like she actually has _done _anything about it. I'm sure that she'll let it go soon. She was really torn up when James died. I can see how it'd be hard for her."

Emmett sighed, his hand coming down "gently"—if that word was even in his vocabulary—on my shoulder, weighing on it just enough for me to know that this was one of his comforting touches.

"Bells, there are more than enough psychodramas out there for me to know that death isn't easily let go of. This Victoria chick is seriously messed up in the head if she thinks threatening you will get her anywhere. She's tossing words like "avenge" around and that worries me." He pulled me into his chest tightly.

It was then that I realized that Edward wasn't the only one who had been sacrificing so much for me. However, it was this familiar hug that Emmett gave me that told me that my neglect hadn't affected our relationship negatively.

"I can't hit a girl, so this chick is out of my range, but we're going to have a long talk about this when Charlie gets home." He pulled away and held both my shoulders so he was facing me. I could envision him looking at me with his head inclined,

"Charlie and I almost lost you with that crash, Bells. I'm not trying to guilt you here, but we were torn to bits about it. Then we found out about all the shit you'd gone through and how screwed up that James guy was and it was like another red flag going up. We don't want more alarms sounding when it comes to you. One was enough for a lifetime."

My throat wouldn't swallow around the ball of leaden guilt, but I managed to hold back the waterworks as I hugged Emmett as tightly as I could, nodding as he pet my hair in his rough, caring hands.

"It'll be okay, Bells. Everything will work out in the end."

Somehow, I managed to find hope in his words, as well as a sense of that self-preservation I'd severely been lacking. Victoria was a problem and I'd have my family there to back me up for every step of recovery.

**A/N: **Wow, this is probably the first chapter in a long time that hasn't had a complete cliffhanger. It's pretty short, but it's enough to open up a new chapter for me. I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks for those of you, the ones who stuck with me and the ones who have found me. I really appreciate it.


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